School-Aged Children
Kindergarten for shy DS
So DS is starting Kindergarten this August. He has a late birthday so he will be 4 for the first month. I would consider him shy at first but he does warm up easily. He has been in daycare since he was young and has switched centers twice and has done very well with change/making new friends. I've been doing all I can to prepare him for getting on the big bus. When I ask him if he is excited to go to the big boy school and ride the bus he lights up with excitement ... yet anytime we pass the school he panics b/c he thinks I am bringing him there. Or when I pull up at daycare and the buses are there and he thinks I'm gonna put him on it I have to peel him out of the car. This worries me SO much. I'm sure it's normal for kids to be scared their first day but I'm dreading putting him on that bus while he is screaming crying (my mom tells me I also did this). How will I cope with that? It has me so stressed! I'm not sure if I even have any questions but just want to know I'm not alone and any other advice/suggestions/words of encouragement for preparing him/me would be awesome! TIA! Sorry this got so long.
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Re: Kindergarten for shy DS
I don't have any children, but have taught kindergarten and am currently teaching a summer school class for incoming kindergartners.
Do he have an opportunities to be at his new school before the beginning of the year? For example, our K teachers do a "play based screening" where the kids come and play at the school for maybe 2 hours while the children are observed by teachers. We offer a summer school class called "Ready? Set! Go to Kindergarten" that allows the children to get a small taste of what it is like to be in kindergarten. Go up to the school and play on the playground.
Are there back to school opportunities? Meet the teacher? Back to school BBQ?
If nothing else, tears are ok. They'll dry--I promise. In fact, I had a boy today who was bawling when it was time for mom and dad to go. He got them to stay an extra 10 minutes--as soon as they were out of sight he was totally fine! It's usually harder on the parents than it is on the child.
they encourage this at DS's school. The kids are also there about 3x before they start for the year and ride the bus once as well. While DS was nervous and said things about being afraid to go, he practically jumped on the bus when it pulled up the first day. You never know what can happen! I mostly just tried to play it cool, stay upbeat, but not ask him about his feelings about it too much either. I didn't want him to think he should be worried b/c I kept asking him if he was.
Both my kids have birthdays just prior to the cutoff in our state. Both of my kids are fairly shy, quiet kids. I sent DD, but I waited a year with DS.
What it came down to for me was what I call "with-it-ness." I was confident that DD would be able to handle things like: finding the classroom, getting on the right bus, lunch room confusion, knowing how to ask to go to the bathroom, knowing that when the teacher talks you need to listen, etc. Even though she was a quieter kid who was less socially ready than my DS, I knew she could handle the demands of the school day.
I was not confident that my son, when he was just about to turn 5 would be able to do all these things. A year later, when he did start kindergarten as a just-turned-6 kid, I was still worried that he'd cry when he got on the bus (he didn't,) but I wasn't worried about his "with-it-ness."
So, I would not let separation anxiety rule the decision. If that was the only issue, I'd give him chances to visit the school, meet the teacher, see his classroom, and then send him, even if he cries at first. But, if you feel that he's not ready in the "with-it-ness" department, and that his anxiety over school is a part of the "with-it-ness" thing, then I would strongly consider waiting another year.
Is it possible for you to go with him on the first day? The bus adds a second element of the unknown, I'd be afraid too if I were him! Or could you be a mommy helper for the first few days, just shadow the class so he knows your there?
Not sure if this is an option, but my son made a lot of friends at the kids club (on site daycare) the summer before Kinder, so the first day was a breeze for him, he knew 13 kids through there. Maybe there is something like that so he gets aquainted with the other kids before the first day.
quotes Michelle likes