do you not use names once family/friends use them?

sept9107bride · July 2011

we've had a TON of friends/family have babies recently and I find that as I look at names, I steer away from ones they have used. I don't know if it's just me or if that's the norm now. what do you think/do?

ps here are the names that I've crossed off due to recent use:

Drake

Vincent

Luke

Jude

Adele

William and Liam

Alexis

Nathan

Everett

Jocelyn

Josie

Isaac

haleymoriah · July 2011

I wouldn't use a name once a close friend or family member has used them.

Zaphina · July 2011

My cousin's youngest daughter is Haylie and even though I like the name I decided to skip it, too. I have 3 cousins called Danny. It gets confusing with mutiple kids with the same name.

HannahO28 · July 2011

wow--your circle has excellent taste! (as do you--I LOVE the name Asher!)

I think it's very common to shy away from names that friends and family use. In my mind, there are so many wonderful names out there...avoiding double names is as good a reason as any to eliminate names from your list. There's always another great name out there.

But I do think that if you're the kind of person that only loves one or two names, it would be silly to eliminate them for that reason.

femmepink · July 2011

haleymoriah:
I wouldn't use a name once a close friend or family member has used them.

This.

Amanda&EricB · July 2011

I would not use a name that someone close to me has used. I think there are far too many names out there that are beautiful and I would rather my child have his "own" name, as dumb as that sounds.

rnfromtn · July 2011

I always thought that I wouldn't use a name if someone close had used it. However, earlier this year my grandmother passed away. While I was pregnant she always teased that I should name my daughter Vivian which is her middle name. My very good friend ended up naming her daughter Vivian so I felt that wouldn't be an option. Now that she has passed away, I feel like I would still use the name with my next child, if I have a girl, of course. My good friend knows of this proposal and thinks it would be wonderful. We would probably use it as a middle name anyway.

PhilsWife07 · July 2011

I have come across a similar predicament. My favorite names for boys are Joshua and Luke, but, within my circle of friends, I know two little boys named Luke, and one Joshua, all under the age of five. It seems silly to not use the name if I love it, seeing as who knows how long that certain friend and her child will be in my life, but I hate to look like a "copy cat" or create confusion for my son who is friends with both children. If it was a family member, it would really depend on how close they were or how much contact we had with them. Joshua is also the name of my mom's cousin's son who I have seen once in the past twenty years. That wouldn't stop me from using it though.

Rach21 · July 2011

Depends on how close I am to the friend and how far apart in age our kids are going to be. Also depends how much we really liked the name. We wanted to name our son Liam after my dad with MN James (DH's grandfather) but my SIL called "dibs" on William when we announced our engagement in October. (I didn't know it at the time, but my bro and SIL were TTC.) We ended up getting pregnant within 2 weeks of each other in January, and her DS was due first, so she snagged William. DH and I thought 1st cousins born 2 weeks apart named Will and Liam would be too much (plus Liams were popping up everywhere like dandelions), so we went back on the hunt and found a name we liked more.

If you crossed any of those names off the list and thought "oh well, back to the drawing board," then you probably haven't found THE name yet anyway. If you crossed one of those names off your list and you immediately regretted erasing it, then I would chew on the name a little longer and see where you stand.

LaComtesse · July 2011

I've been set on my names forever. Short of those names becoming synonymous with a genocidal maniac in the next couple years, I don't think anything would keep me from using them. I'd be disappointed if, say, a cousin "took my name" before I got to use it, but it wouldn't make me love the name any less.

EastCoastBride · July 2011

I didnt' consider any names that friends had used OR that were my friends names! But we still had a ton of options.

As others have said, though, if there is a name a person just truly loves and has always wanted to use, I dont' think another kid they know having the same name is a reason not to use it.

GideonsMom · July 2011

There are plenty of good names, and usually no one uses them anyways. I would never use the same name as a close friend or relative unless I was naming my child after them.

EastCoastBride · July 2011

Actually - my own story. My maiden name is Cole. I always knew I wanted to use it in some form or fashion in my DS's name. (It's his middle name). Years ago, a friend told me that her DH was thinking of the name Coleman and using the NN Cole, but she told him they couldn't use it because of me.

I told her I didn't care if they used it or not- it wouldn't stop me from using it!

I think that was more her excuse not to use it because she just didn't like it, but still... wouldn't have mattered. If you want to talk about it being "my" name to "claim"...

Fianschneid · July 2011

If someone close to us already used the name, we crossed it off of our list.

LuvMyFurbaby · July 2011

Children of CLOSE family and friends that we see often, I crossed those names off the list (ie, my friend's 2-year-old daughter is named Abigail -- we like the name, but won't be using it).

There are some younger guys on my dad's softball team whose wives recently had children, whom I know but only see once a year, if that. I wouldn't disregard those names, since I don't see them often, but they happend to name their children "trendy" names that aren't my style anyway (ie, Addisyn).

ToBeMrsC6907 · July 2011

I personally wouldn't.

Claire was probably my #1 girl name, and in the year before DD was born I had 2 girlfriends use it. I immediately crossed it off our list.

Smootchy · July 2011

wouldn't use after close family/friend did.

hmz819 · July 2011

I wouldn't not use a name just because a close friend used it if I was honoring someone in my family by naming my child after them. If the name had no personal significance than I would prob find another name.

anna7602 · July 2011

It depends on how strongly I feel about the name. DH and I picked our boy name over 10 years ago and it has great significance for us. It's not a very common name (Santiago), but even if someone I knew used it, we would still use it for a son. Ditto for our second-runner up boy name- Orlando. That one is a family name.

For our girls' names, we used the one name we absolutely loved already, so I'm pretty flexible and would probably toss a name if a friend used any of the ones in our top five. Or at the very least, it would get demoted to middle name use.

sunnyday016 · July 2011

I wouldn't use a name after a close friend or family member used it. However, if they're people we never see or only communicate on FB, I might use it depending on how strongly I feel about the name.

mrsjenniferg2010 · July 2011

I wouldn't use a name if someone I was close to already use it. Only if I was naming them after them.

melody921 · July 2011

haleymoriah:
I wouldn't use a name once a close friend or family member has used them.

Me either. Aside from wanting my kid to have his own identity, I wouldn't want to look like I ripped off their name.

clarks415 · July 2011

I think about this a lot. That is why I decided never to tell anyone names I like - thebump excluded lol

KGF625 · July 2011

I would probably steer clear of those names too. Luckily I am the first in my group and out of my sisters to be having babies so I don't have to worry about my favorites being taken for now!

shortstuff15 · July 2011

It depends on the name. My sister used my favorite girls name for her daughter, so now we are using it for a middle name just because we don't want cousins who live in the same town with the same name. My husbands cousin named her son, born a couple months before our daughter, our favorite boy name but because they won't be immediate cousins and don't live remotely close to each other and will only see each other probably once every few years, we are sticking with that name. If a close friend used a name we had in mind, we would probably still use it regardless. Our friends don't have the same last name as us!

Daisy41459 · July 2011

Family: no

Friends: depends on how strongly I feel about the name, how close I am to that friend, etc. For example, Alexander was a top contender for DS. My co-teacher/friend has a son named Alexander. We do hang together outside of school, so when DH and I were thinking of names, I mentioned it to her and asked how she felt about us using that name. She was okay with it (it turned out not to be an issue this time around, but it is still on our list should we ever have another boy). Also, really good friend of mine just named her daughter Giovanna. Gianna is on our girl list. I've talked to her about how she'd feel if in the future we used Gianna for a daughter.

blu-eyedwife · July 2011

I don't, but I feel like there are so many other names out there, that there's no real reason to have duplicates in a friend/family circle.

samakasrc · July 2011

I wouldn't use a name a friend or family member has used. I also won't use names of people I know or was once close too. Just my thing... I also won't use name that reminds me of someone negatively in my mind. Like my SO's ex's or people I used to dislike..

oliversbear · July 2011

If they were a close friend or family member, I doubt I would reuse a name. It would be a bit rude to me. But if they were not close, I would not hesitate to use the same name.

beautifulstr13 · July 2011

I have a cousin with a boy and a girl. Both of their names were previously used in the family. It gets confusing when your talking about them. I wouldn't do it unless it was distant.

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