Husband and I having a huge gender confllict!

luckeymommy · July 2011

My husband and I are expecting a baby in January. He is step daddy to my four year old daughter and loves her unconditionally. (As he should!) When we first got pregnant with this child we were both excited and hoping for a boy.(He is sick of being surrounded by girls!) As the gender ultrasound is creeping up on us, I am not wanting a boy at all. I am really looking forward to having a girl. I was the same way when pregnant with my daughter and had this overwhelming suspicion she was a girl. I was right too. With this baby, I have that feeling as well and when we talk about names...I cant even think of boy names and he gets upset! Both of us will love the baby unconditionally no matter the sex...I just wanted to know, is this normal? To FEEL that you are carrying one gender or another? and to have small rivals with your spouse over it?

MrsClark8109 · July 2011

The way I see it, you can't really rival over it as you have no control over the situation. If anyone can control it its him (he's the one who needs to shoot a Y to create a little man-haha) but yes I had a feeling we were having 1 of each but didn't want to get too excited until we knew for sure.

MrsClark8109 · July 2011

The way I see it, you can't really rival over it as you have no control over the situation. If anyone can control it its him (he's the one who needs to shoot a Y to create a little man-haha) but yes I had a feeling we were having 1 of each but didn't want to get too excited until we knew for sure.

We also both had our preferences I really really really wanted a little boy because I knew my DH would be great with a little guy and loves playing sports and I looked forward to watching them together.

My DH wanted a little girl, to be a daddy's girl because he's gotten to do fun boy stuff with cousins and wanted someone to spoil rotten.

Chargersgrl33 · July 2011

I'm sure you want to wish for a certain sex for the baby but it doesn't really matter at this point. This is already determined, now you just wait. Seems kind of pointless to me to argue over which one you or DH prefers since you can't change it.

In my situation I know DH wanted a boy but I was good with either. This will be our only child so I knew that I would be ok with boy or girl. Good luck either way!

smariex18 · July 2011

When I was around 7 weeks I knew I was having a boy. It just "felt" like it. DH, my mom, and essentially my entire family thought I was having a boy too. But I wanted a girl. DH has a daughter from a previous relationship and wanted a boy super bad. We used to play fight over it all the time - I'd act like I'm doing things to "make" the baby a girl, lol, whenever we were arguing. But we never actually got upset at each other or anything. You should've seen his face, though, when we found out it WAS a boy at the u/s =P

iluvmylab · July 2011

You don't want a boy, but you don't get to choose. Funny how you say that you will love the baby no matter what, but you also said "I am not wanting a boy at all" just a few sentences above. I think maybe preferring one sex over another is normal, but saying you don't want to have a boy/girl is just immature. Just my opinion.

I feel like I am carrying a boy, but I also realize that it means nothing and I have a 50/50 shot. I honestly just want a baby here on earth and I'll be happy. Fighting with your spouse over something that neither one of you can control seems like unnecessary drama to me.

coadyk01 · July 2011

My hubby wants a boy, but thinks it is a girl. I want a girl, but have a "feeling" it is a boy. So to make it fun, we placed a bet on it. Just a fun way to talk trash to each other leading up to the gender reveal in two days. Plus, it is a win-win.

calliesmom6 · July 2011

We did not have any conflicts about the possible gender of our baby, we had a great time guessing as the time came closer for our a/s. However, as much as we talked about having a baby girl (because my husband already has 2 boys) i just KNEW it was going to be a boy. Every time I looked at baby things I went straight to the boy stuff first, I found it easier to relate to "boy" items while I was out shopping and always flipped through the boy name sections of baby name books. (Which is odd for me because I am a pink-loving, high heel wearing, girlie girl) And sure enough! Im suspision about our LO was confirmed at our a/s! It's a BOY!

Momto4cats · July 2011

My husband and I both felt we were having a girl, I was convinced totally. I even had a few cute little pink outfits before our 20 week ultrasound. Well surprise, surprise we are having a boy! We were so surprised but thankful by what we are blessed with. I'd say what you are feeling is perfectly normal, just don't be too shocked if your gut is wrong, lol.

OurJellybean · July 2011

It doesnt matter how much you fight... baby is gonna be what its gonna be and you will get over it and so will he. Lots of ppl are convinced they are carrying a certain sex but half those ppl are right lol

MOH0909 · July 2011

We never fought over it, we already have 1 girl and this time I wanted another just like you do. I think boys are great, but great for other people. I am a dance class, pink lovin, girlie girl all the way and wanted 2 of them just like me. I also felt like DD #2 was a girl b4 we found out. But I wasn't sure if that was my desire or something else telling me. I felt the same with DD #1. I wanted her to be a girl so bad that I didn't know if my body was telling me girl or I just wanted it so bad. Either way both of my babies are girls. Good luck, I hope you get what you want. But I agree with you too even if my girls were boys I would have been fine and loved them just the same. I would have just had some work cut out for me as I have no idea about anything boy.

mrsjenniferg2010 · July 2011

We never really fought over the gender of our babies. I know DH really wanted a boy when were having LO#1. Lucky for him, he got his boy! I had a feeling that he was going to be a boy. In away I wanted a girl first because I wanted to buy all the cute girly things, but I knew he was a boy. Having a boy is fun though and I had tones of fun shopping for boy things. This time around DH was happy either way. I was too after my experience with DS. He is just so wonderful and makes me smile. I did also wanted a girl and had a feeling this was a girl. We are having a girl this time! Its going to be exciting to be able to experience one of each.

If he gets really upset over talking about names cause it maybe being a girl then I think you should hold off on thinking of names until you find out. Then there will be no real reason to fight.

katie0919 · July 2011

As PP mentioned, you may want a girl, but mother nature doesn't really care what you want! Don't write off a boy when you haven't even had one. Also, a lot of men want little boys...just as a lot of women want little girls. Would you not even be the slightest bit happy for a boy, especially when you see how happy your DH will be? We had an elective ultrasound and I'll never forget the look of joy and pride on my DH's face when they said 'it's a boy'. I felt like I was having a girl, not even necessarily because I wanted one, just that I had a feeling and I was certainly wrong. But never once was I disappointed. I for one, would LOVE to experience one of each, so if you get a boy you should consider yourself lucky. And, just a healthy baby should be considered lucky. If you wind up with a girl, that should just be icing on the cake. Good luck, and don't stress over what you're having. That card has already been played!

forensicmama · July 2011

Mother's intuition on this subject is actually 70% accurate. I've been right both times with my LOs, but I've seen ladies be wrong before, too.

vspek · July 2011

With DD I knew from the start that I was having with girl, with this one I kept on going back and forth. I wanted another little girl, mostly because I knew there will be a lot of drama over the name if it will be a boy.

When we found out that we are having a boy, I was a bit upset because I was certain that we'll have another girl and because the name battle began. I had to give in to DH on the name, even thought I still hate the name, but he was really asking for it and I know it means a lot to him.

There is no control over the sex of the baby, but as long as the baby is healthy it's all that matters.