Do you STTN?

jsugrin · July 2011

I've always been a crap sleeper and the worst for me is that I need a lot of sleep yet is seems impossible to be able to get it. I'm finding that after years now of dealing with babies/toddlers/pre-schools that are often up at night that I don't even assume that I will sleep all night anymore.

It's really like my body is incapable of sleeping straight through. Lately I've been having severe right shoulder pain so it's been worse than "normal". For the last 2+ weeks I have woken up around 2-4am and then am awake for about 2 hours before I can fall back asleep.

Man I miss the days where disturbed sleep meant that I'd had too much water too close to bedtime and had to wake up to pee once or twice and then fall back to sleep, fairly easily.

So, what's your own sleep look like?

EmmieB · July 2011

nope. never have.

I hear a story on NPR about how we perceive time and the dude they were interviewing said that before electricity, people used to go to sleep with the sun and then wake up in the middle of the night for a while and then go back to sleep. They called it "first sleep" - apparently you can read about it in people's journals.

It wasn't until electricity became common that STTN was considered "normal."

So really, you're just following your primal circadian rhythms.

MeggyO · July 2011

Oh yes. I sleep through the night. Like the dead. Although, these days I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to pee. But mostly, My eyes shut at 11:30 and the start opening again around 6:30-7:00.

mommy2jay · July 2011

I used to STTN before having my son. Now four years later - even though he has STTN from being a few months old -- I just cant sleep the whole night anymore!

The terrible part is that I know i need the sleep, but something in me has changed and I am such a light sleeper now

ashleyhuney · July 2011

Oh yeah, I sleep like a rock. Pre-kids it wasn't crazy for me to sleep 12+ hours straight on a weekend

Even throughout both PGs (well, so far with #2) I don't wake at night even to pee. Waking at night is torturous and I do not look forward to doing that again, I need my sleep to feel sane.

dirtbikemom · July 2011

I'm lucky if I can get 8 hours a night and my DD has been sleeping though the night for quite a while. I think this is just a sign that my body is getting older. Some times I have insomnia, sometimes I toss and turn for a while but then sleep, and sometimes I just fall asleep. My sleep is so random lately.

Lexi & Orion's Mommy · July 2011

i can sttn, with medical intervention. On my own, i wake, multiple times for various reasons.

futrkingsley · July 2011

I realize now that I haven't been a "good" sleeper for over a decade. I remember lying awake in the dark as a child for hours. I did it alot when DH and I first got together and whenever we moved it took me eons to get used to the night time sounds in a new place. The only time I slept well was the second trimester of my pregnancy when I took a mild sleep aid every single night on the advice of my OB. I slept awesome and woke with energy.

After C was born I started battling serious insomnia. It sucked. Sadly I think he has some of it too. He will periodically wake at night, have trouble getting back to sleep and lay there for hours awake in the dark.

kfishie · July 2011

No. I am a very light sleeper and hardly ever STTN. Typically, I wake up every night to go to the bathroom, to pull a blanket over me, to turn from one side to the other, etc.

KellyMRocks · July 2011

EmmieB:
nope. never have.
I hear a story on NPR about how we perceive time and the dude they were interviewing said that before electricity, people used to go to sleep with the sun and then wake up in the middle of the night for a while and then go back to sleep. They called it "first sleep" - apparently you can read about it in people's journals.
It wasn't until electricity became common that STTN was considered "normal."
So really, you're just following your primal circadian rhythms.

I think my natural rhythm is waaaay off from what is "normal" for society (I suspect that is true for many, many people). In fact I am my most productive after 3pm, until about 2am. I read about this once and it is considered a "sleep disorder", which is funny because as you pointed out above, the concept of time and what is normal for society is basically made up.

To answer the original question, I've always been a light sleeper so I wake a lot. Not nearly as much as I do with a nursling in my bed though.

KellyMRocks · July 2011

EmmieB:
nope. never have.
I hear a story on NPR about how we perceive time and the dude they were interviewing said that before electricity, people used to go to sleep with the sun and then wake up in the middle of the night for a while and then go back to sleep. They called it "first sleep" - apparently you can read about it in people's journals.
It wasn't until electricity became common that STTN was considered "normal."
So really, you're just following your primal circadian rhythms.

I think my natural rhythm is waaaay off from what is "normal" for society (I suspect that is true for many, many people). In fact I am my most productive after 3pm, until about 2am. I read about this once and it is considered a "sleep disorder", which is funny because as you pointed out above, the concept of time and what is normal for society is basically made up.

To answer the original question, I've always been a light sleeper so I wake a lot. Not nearly as much as I do with a nursling in my bed though.

teambaumer · July 2011

Lexi & Orion's Mommy:
i can sttn, with medical intervention. On my own, i wake, multiple times for various reasons.

Same here. I think waking with the baby, even though she STTN since she was 3mos, has thrown my body off.

jsugrin · July 2011

futrkingsley:
I realize now that I haven't been a "good" sleeper for over a decade. I remember lying awake in the dark as a child for hours. I did it alot when DH and I first got together and whenever we moved it took me eons to get used to the night time sounds in a new place. The only time I slept well was the second trimester of my pregnancy when I took a mild sleep aid every single night on the advice of my OB. I slept awesome and woke with energy.

After C was born I started battling serious insomnia. It sucked. Sadly I think he has some of it too. He will periodically wake at night, have trouble getting back to sleep and lay there for hours awake in the dark.

So bizarre to me how similar both we and our kids are. I too used to lay awake for ages and it made me sad that my parents would make me lay there when I knew if they stayed with me I'd be asleep much more quickly. I know that they were trying to help me learn but it never worked Sad . Has totally impacted my parenting for sure! I tried my hardest to get Andrew to not have my habits but it couldn't be helped so I know that he may never fall asleep without some help.

futrkingsley · July 2011

jsugrin:
futrkingsley:

I realize now that I haven't been a "good" sleeper for over a decade. I remember lying awake in the dark as a child for hours. I did it alot when DH and I first got together and whenever we moved it took me eons to get used to the night time sounds in a new place. The only time I slept well was the second trimester of my pregnancy when I took a mild sleep aid every single night on the advice of my OB. I slept awesome and woke with energy.

After C was born I started battling serious insomnia. It sucked. Sadly I think he has some of it too. He will periodically wake at night, have trouble getting back to sleep and lay there for hours awake in the dark.

So bizarre to me how similar both we and our kids are. I too used to lay awake for ages and it made me sad that my parents would make me lay there when I knew if they stayed with me I'd be asleep much more quickly. I know that they were trying to help me learn but it never worked . Has totally impacted my parenting for sure! I tried my hardest to get Andrew to not have my habits but it couldn't be helped so I know that he may never fall asleep without some help.

It is so strange isn't it, how alike we and our kids are? My parents didn't "help" me either, though I think it was a matter of not knowing as they were most often snoring down the hall. And since I distinctly remember how sad it made me to lay there in the dark alone, it absolutely changed my parenting. As tired as it makes me and as much as I sometimes dread the middle of the night wake ups, I have enough distance now that I can mostly treat him how I'd like to be treated (kindly, gently, with company). In fact, when he wakes, he sometimes just asks me to keep him company now rather than asking for milk.

jsugrin · July 2011

futrkingsley:
jsugrin:
futrkingsley:

I realize now that I haven't been a "good" sleeper for over a decade. I remember lying awake in the dark as a child for hours. I did it alot when DH and I first got together and whenever we moved it took me eons to get used to the night time sounds in a new place. The only time I slept well was the second trimester of my pregnancy when I took a mild sleep aid every single night on the advice of my OB. I slept awesome and woke with energy.

After C was born I started battling serious insomnia. It sucked. Sadly I think he has some of it too. He will periodically wake at night, have trouble getting back to sleep and lay there for hours awake in the dark.

So bizarre to me how similar both we and our kids are. I too used to lay awake for ages and it made me sad that my parents would make me lay there when I knew if they stayed with me I'd be asleep much more quickly. I know that they were trying to help me learn but it never worked . Has totally impacted my parenting for sure! I tried my hardest to get Andrew to not have my habits but it couldn't be helped so I know that he may never fall asleep without some help.

It is so strange isn't it, how alike we and our kids are? My parents didn't "help" me either, though I think it was a matter of not knowing as they were most often snoring down the hall. And since I distinctly remember how sad it made me to lay there in the dark alone, it absolutely changed my parenting. As tired as it makes me and as much as I sometimes dread the middle of the night wake ups, I have enough distance now that I can mostly treat him how I'd like to be treated (kindly, gently, with company). In fact, when he wakes, he sometimes just asks me to keep him company now rather than asking for milk.

That is so cute. Andrew's thing is " I need my mama cuddles". Now who can say no to that? There were times (maybe when he was 10-15 months old) that I would cry and cry at night because I felt like I had so badly failed him by not doing the "right things" when he was younger to give him a better chance. I hated that he was going to end up like me. Now I've come to terms with the fact that maybe I could have changed him, maybe not, but it is what it is. Now my goal is to work as we can on getting him to settle as much as possible on his own and develop his own tricks for relaxing and sleeping. Amazingly enough it's actually starting to happen.

I was even thinking about you and C the other night since I see our routines as fairly similar and our goals and obstacles too. Ok, so normal once we're in the bedroom is reading in his bed for anywhere from 10-30 min and then lights out, he falls asleep in 1-5 min ( vast improvement from the 20-30 days) and DH or I are out. So now, if he's not ready to go to sleep instead of either A. fighting with him after the light is out or B. reading so much that my voice actually hurts, we are able to tell him that he can read to himself as long as he stays in bed and he does it!. Now what only you would understand, this miracle takes place with one of us (usually me) laying in the big bed in his room and often falling asleep myself. But he reads, he's quiet and then when he's ready (1-20 min) he just reaches up, turns out the light and 80%/20% comes in bed with me/falls asleep in his bed and just goes to sleep. That's it, so crying, no fighting, no irritation. Then to make our lives even more amazing the kid is sleeping (95% of the time) a solid 11 hours and often, often I tell ya 12 full hours! We've never gotten 12 hours out of him and he's had to be in bed by 7 or so because until about 4-5 months ago the kid never slept past 6:30, no matter what time he went to bed.

So my long ramble (which I started, oh 4 hours ago Embarrassed ), is that I feel the light, the hope that soon he will actually read with us, then read alone and simply turn off the light and go to sleep........all by his big bad self! If he can do it I bet C can do it too! Can you even imagine a life where the kids go to sleep by themselves? It makes me giddy to think about it and I hope we both get there soon (I'm thinking by the time they're 5 would be good Big Smile )

futrkingsley · July 2011

jsugrin:
futrkingsley:
jsugrin:
futrkingsley:

I realize now that I haven't been a "good" sleeper for over a decade. I remember lying awake in the dark as a child for hours. I did it alot when DH and I first got together and whenever we moved it took me eons to get used to the night time sounds in a new place. The only time I slept well was the second trimester of my pregnancy when I took a mild sleep aid every single night on the advice of my OB. I slept awesome and woke with energy.

After C was born I started battling serious insomnia. It sucked. Sadly I think he has some of it too. He will periodically wake at night, have trouble getting back to sleep and lay there for hours awake in the dark.

So bizarre to me how similar both we and our kids are. I too used to lay awake for ages and it made me sad that my parents would make me lay there when I knew if they stayed with me I'd be asleep much more quickly. I know that they were trying to help me learn but it never worked . Has totally impacted my parenting for sure! I tried my hardest to get Andrew to not have my habits but it couldn't be helped so I know that he may never fall asleep without some help.

It is so strange isn't it, how alike we and our kids are? My parents didn't "help" me either, though I think it was a matter of not knowing as they were most often snoring down the hall. And since I distinctly remember how sad it made me to lay there in the dark alone, it absolutely changed my parenting. As tired as it makes me and as much as I sometimes dread the middle of the night wake ups, I have enough distance now that I can mostly treat him how I'd like to be treated (kindly, gently, with company). In fact, when he wakes, he sometimes just asks me to keep him company now rather than asking for milk.

That is so cute. Andrew's thing is " I need my mama cuddles". Now who can say no to that? There were times (maybe when he was 10-15 months old) that I would cry and cry at night because I felt like I had so badly failed him by not doing the "right things" when he was younger to give him a better chance. I hated that he was going to end up like me. Now I've come to terms with the fact that maybe I could have changed him, maybe not, but it is what it is. Now my goal is to work as we can on getting him to settle as much as possible on his own and develop his own tricks for relaxing and sleeping. Amazingly enough it's actually starting to happen.

I was even thinking about you and C the other night since I see our routines as fairly similar and our goals and obstacles too. Ok, so normal once we're in the bedroom is reading in his bed for anywhere from 10-30 min and then lights out, he falls asleep in 1-5 min ( vast improvement from the 20-30 days) and DH or I are out. So now, if he's not ready to go to sleep instead of either A. fighting with him after the light is out or B. reading so much that my voice actually hurts, we are able to tell him that he can read to himself as long as he stays in bed and he does it!. Now what only you would understand, this miracle takes place with one of us (usually me) laying in the big bed in his room and often falling asleep myself. But he reads, he's quiet and then when he's ready (1-20 min) he just reaches up, turns out the light and 80%/20% comes in bed with me/falls asleep in his bed and just goes to sleep. That's it, so crying, no fighting, no irritation. Then to make our lives even more amazing the kid is sleeping (95% of the time) a solid 11 hours and often, often I tell ya 12 full hours! We've never gotten 12 hours out of him and he's had to be in bed by 7 or so because until about 4-5 months ago the kid never slept past 6:30, no matter what time he went to bed.

So my long ramble (which I started, oh 4 hours ago), is that I feel the light, the hope that soon he will actually read with us, then read alone and simply turn off the light and go to sleep........all by his big bad self! If he can do it I bet C can do it too! Can you even imagine a life where the kids go to sleep by themselves? It makes me giddy to think about it and I hope we both get there soon (I'm thinking by the time they're 5 would be good)

We are totally heading in the right direction too. His sleep needs are becoming more stable, his independence is growing, his need for us is less intense than it was. I am so glad we are all making progress! I too imagine that when's he's 5 he'll be able to get tucked in, read or talk or sing to himself, and decide for himself when he's ready to turn out the light and go to sleep.

Last night he sang some new songs to us before bed and then was conked out. Hurrah!

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