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February 2012 Moms
laxnpro
member
Would this bother you or am I being sensitive? NBR
laxnpro
member
So, my younger sister (who is also my best friend) and my brother-in-law are spending quite a bit of time together. They really like each other and are starting to head in a romantic direction. At first, before it was a reality, I was fine with the idea. But, now the more I think about it, the more I am having trouble accepting it. I just picture the future if they were to get married and have kids. She and I would live parallel lives and could possibly be compared against each other FOREVER. And then if they don't work out, it could make things awkward.
Am I just worrying and obsessing over nothing?
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Re: Would this bother you or am I being sensitive? NBR
Actually, it could end up being a fun thing, I would think. Then you'd get to hang out with your sister more and you already know him so it wouldn't be a worry of whether or not everyone would get along.
If she's happy, that should be what matters...
exactly this. it wouldn't bother me at all.
You can't control who your sister dates, so what's the point in getting worked up over it? Your concern that "She and I would live parallel lives and could possibly be compared against each other FOREVER." seems like a bit much. Why would people compare you forever? How would your lives be parallel? If people are going to compare you, they'll do it regardless of who you each marry.
Yes, as with any relationship, there's the possibility for awkwardness if they break up. But if it does work out, your sister would be at every family gathering with you. I think that would be awesome! I wish my sister could be around every time I had to deal with my mother-in-law.
I assume that your sister is an adult, so allow her to make her own decisions. It has probably occurred to her that it could potentially be awkward if they dated and then broke up, and she has likely weighed that into her decisions. Be supportive of her no matter what she decides. At this point, the thing that's most likely to affect your relationship with her is how you respond to her dating your BIL.
So I guess I am just overreacting
Wouldn't be the first time. They are both the babies of the family and pretty spoiled and I think I have always been a little jealous of that. She is the "golden child." But, they are both finishing degrees (him Bach and she Masters) and living at home so I guess I have time to adjust to the idea of them together. I need to grow out of my competitive nature.
I would personally be thrilled if one of my sisters was dating/or married one of my brother in laws. You already know you like your sister, no surprise there about getting a really nasty sister in law. :-)
I am a wedding photographer, and one of my clients last year who I adored was marrying her sister's brother in law. The other sister (who was married first) refused to be in family pictures, refused to congratulate, and made it clear that she was there just for the free food. I'm sure that there were underlying issues from other times, but to everyone else it just looked petty and ridiculous. Your sister is one of the people who you love the most; loving someone means you are happy to see them happy; even if it means they marry your brother in law. Now if it were a TWIN brother I might be a little more freaked. LOL. :-)
OH I WOULD NEVER behave like that. She said she would stop hanging out with him if I wanted her to and I would never want that. She has had her heart broken twice and if he really makes her happy than I am happy. I couldn't take that away from her and wouldn't want to. I joke with DH that they saw how compatible we are and how much fun our familes have together and thought... why go elsewhere?