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March 2011 Moms
tinklinz
member
Mommy phase so soon? (kinda long)
tinklinz
member
DS hates everyone but me! Don't get me wrong, it's quite the ego boost that he can be screaming bloody murder and the second I take him (quite literally, the second) he calms down.
There are two problems with this though. One, I can't get an effing thing done--cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning...hell, even peeing is a ten second affair if DS decides to melt down while I'm in the bathroom. And two, it's really starting to hurt DH's feelings. Every time I take DS back from DH and I ask "what's wrong?" DH replies, "he just hates me, that's all." And his tone of voice breaks my heart, this kid is his pride and joy.
I literally have to stay within view of DS at all times, it's gotten to the point where I just shower with him because unless DH stands in the bathroom with me DS is screaming, and sometimes even standing there isn't enough, he HAS to have me holding him. I quite literally have no time to myself ever. I love my son more than anything and would do anything for him, but I need just a teeny, tiny break. And a father needs time with his son. Even errands are impossible because I have to be in the backseat with him. I have to wait for DH to get home from his long 12 hour days to run errands.
HELP! Is there anything I can do besides ride it out? Nothing calms him down except me once he's gotten it in his head he needs me. He screams until no sound comes out and he turns deep red in the face, so just letting him cry a little bit isn't an option.
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Re: Mommy phase so soon? (kinda long)
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I could have written this post! In the same boat as you. I dont know what to do. It is especially bad after 9pm when its bedtime, he screams bloody murder if my husband tries to rock him. I have a wedding coming up and DH will be in charge of him for two nites, no clue how he will react without me there!!! Would love to hear what people have to say!!
My mom keeps telling me that there will come a time when C will only want me...and I'm pretty sure we're approaching that time. A couple weeks ago, she started the thing where she wants me in sight at all times. If I walk out of the room, she yells until I come back, then switches to all smiles. If I'm around the house trying to get something done, she'll yell and scream until I pick her up, then I'm stuck doing one-handed errands until my arms feel like they're going to fall off. I end up stopping my errands and sitting with her on the couch until she's sleepy enough to put in her swing. This morning, DH was up with C at 6am trying to calm her because we're weaning her off the swaddle and she had woken herself up again. After I heard her crying for a while, I decided to go help. I picked her up and she immediately calmed, and DH just said, "Daddy fail." I felt so awful! I think Daddies have a hard time understanding how strong the mother-child bond is...that the child can love their father very much, but that the mother-child bond is something instinctual and primal that no one has control over. It's nice for us, but I can understand how it's hard for them.
One thing someone mentioned to me when I posted about the neediness was that babies get extra clingy during the 4 month wakeful/growth spurt. So it may just be that.
Does your H spend time with him without you around? H and DD have "Daddy time" for about an hour every morning. I'm either back in bed (because I was up nursing her earlier) or I take a shower or do some other errand while they hang out in the living room. Another thing that might help - does your H ever give him bottles? Feeding ties in very strongly to bonding, so maybe having your H give him a bottle once a day will help. If not, just ride it out and give your hubby lots of extra love and reassurance. It's surely just a phase!