Registry vent-I don't get it

Annabelle81 · July 2011

It's likely the pregnancy hormones speaking up here, but what is with so many people here complaining about not getting things from their registries? People are buying you gifts. Be thankful and move on. Return what you don't want. People are not supposed to buy all of your baby gear, clothing, etc. for you. You are the parent, provide for them yourself. You spent a lot of time researching and registering? Boo-hoo. Wouldn't you research anyway for the things you are going to get for your baby? Complaining about what you didn't get makes you sound entitled, ungrateful and ridiculous.

Vent over, thanks for listening.

Ebeth_in_ATL · July 2011

Matt Dvorak · July 2011

agree. hardly anyone purchased off of our registry - I expected so much. We waited until we were in a good financial position to have a baby, so we weren't relying on our friends/family to buy us our stuff! However, our baby now has a pretty awesome wardrobe :-)

Fisherman'sWife · July 2011

I agree, I wouldn't expect friends to buy me tampons, toilet paper, and other stuff like that for my birthday, why would they want to buy those things for baby? People want to give nice gifts like clothes, etc.

Gifts can be anything and typically aren't the life necessities.

shockleyh · July 2011

I also agree.. we got a few items off of our registry, and some things that weren't exactly what we'd registered for, but would serve the purpose (ie, a different bath tub).

We assumed when we were creating our registry that we'd probably have to purchase at least half of it.. and we prepared ourselves for that financially. We got more than we expected to, but we still have to make a few purchases.

And FWIW I had one AWESOME baby shower and had no complaints about it.. in fact, I really did enjoy it and didn't even think much about what we'd received or whether we'd registered for it (other than being gracious) until I got home.

peanut2b · July 2011

I agree...a gift is a gift...a registry is just a list of ideas and options,

Kvitale87 · July 2011

Yes

I was just thrilled to get things to help out! Not to mention all of my friends with kids got me stuff I would have NEVER thought of until I needed it.

JC1009 · July 2011

I totally agree. I would just be thankful if people got us gifts...any kind of gift. The registry is really there to help those that need some ideas.

Stephiehun · July 2011

But if you're giving a gift, don't you want it to be something you know will be used?

I know it's the thought that counts, but it sucks to get stuff that you know you don't need, and hope it came with a gift receipt.

We were cleaning out the closet it the baby's room last weekend, and found a bunch of random candlesticks and crap like that. It was stuff that people got us as wedding/ shower presents that we never used. I feel bad about it, but they don't fit our decor and we have no use for them. I didn't register for brass candlesticks for a reason.

I'd rather buy off a registry and know that the person is getting something they wanted as opposed to picking up another cute outfit that may or may not fit the baby. I also would hate to give something that had to be returned.

ETA - for the record, I don't care if we don't get the specific sleepsacks or baby towels on the registry. I would be annoyed if someone got us a huge highchair that we can't use, or a carseat that won't fit in DH's car.

HappyAardvark · July 2011

Stephiehun:
But if you're giving a gift, don't you want it to be something you know will be used?
I know it's the thought that counts, but it sucks to get stuff that you know you don't need, and hope it came with a gift receipt.
We were cleaning out the closet it the baby's room last weekend, and found a bunch of random candlesticks and crap like that. It was stuff that people got us as wedding/ shower presents that we never used. I feel bad about it, but they don't fit our decor and we have no use for them. I didn't register for brass candlesticks for a reason.
I'd rather buy off a registry and know that the person is getting something they wanted as opposed to picking up another cute outfit that may or may not fit the baby. I also would hate to give something that had to be returned.
ETA - for the record, I don't care if we don't get the specific sleepsacks or baby towels on the registry. I would be annoyed if someone got us a huge highchair that we can't use, or a carseat that won't fit in DH's car.

All of this.

How is it any different than calling your BIL to ask for suggestions on what to get your SIL for her birthday? The point is to buy someone a gift you know they will want and like. It's the attitude of people who just assume they know better than the gift recipient, without any regard for the recipient's taste, lifestyle, or preferences, is what's annoying. And for God's sake, if you're going to buy a gift off-registry, at least include a freaking gift receipt.

Moms are sort of particular about their babies. Call me crazy, but that just seems to be the way it is.

MrsEllis10 · July 2011

HappyAardvark:
Stephiehun:
But if you're giving a gift, don't you want it to be something you know will be used?
I know it's the thought that counts, but it sucks to get stuff that you know you don't need, and hope it came with a gift receipt.
We were cleaning out the closet it the baby's room last weekend, and found a bunch of random candlesticks and crap like that. It was stuff that people got us as wedding/ shower presents that we never used. I feel bad about it, but they don't fit our decor and we have no use for them. I didn't register for brass candlesticks for a reason.
I'd rather buy off a registry and know that the person is getting something they wanted as opposed to picking up another cute outfit that may or may not fit the baby. I also would hate to give something that had to be returned.
ETA - for the record, I don't care if we don't get the specific sleepsacks or baby towels on the registry. I would be annoyed if someone got us a huge highchair that we can't use, or a carseat that won't fit in DH's car.
All of this.
How is it any different than calling your BIL to ask for suggestions on what to get your SIL for her birthday? The point is to buy someone a gift you know they will want and like. It's the attitude of people who just assume they know better than the gift recipient, without any regard for the recipient's taste, lifestyle, or preferences, is what's annoying. And for God's sake, if you're going to buy a gift off-registry, at least include a freaking gift receipt.
Moms are sort of particular about their babies. Call me crazy, but that just seems to be the way it is.

THIS!

My issue right now is all the things I got that I don't need didn't come with gift receipts. Now I have to go play stupid at Wal-mart, Target, K-mart and babies r us and see where it was purchased. You say just return the things you don't want, but being 36 weeks pregnant, miserable with the hot south and pressure in my cervix all while worrying every 5 seconds I'm going to pee myself makes it very difficult to just "exchange stuff". I did my registry for a reason. I wanted those things. Don't buy me 1st years if I registered for Graco. I did my research for a reason. It is not ungratefulness. I always buy off of a registry, ALWAYS! People spend time researching and scanning for a reason! A registry isn't for ideas, window shopping is for ideas. If someone needs ideas they can just go shopping.

Annabelle81 · July 2011

Stephiehun:
But if you're giving a gift, don't you want it to be something you know will be used?
I know it's the thought that counts, but it sucks to get stuff that you know you don't need, and hope it came with a gift receipt.
We were cleaning out the closet it the baby's room last weekend, and found a bunch of random candlesticks and crap like that. It was stuff that people got us as wedding/ shower presents that we never used. I feel bad about it, but they don't fit our decor and we have no use for them. I didn't register for brass candlesticks for a reason.
I'd rather buy off a registry and know that the person is getting something they wanted as opposed to picking up another cute outfit that may or may not fit the baby. I also would hate to give something that had to be returned.
ETA - for the record, I don't care if we don't get the specific sleepsacks or baby towels on the registry. I would be annoyed if someone got us a huge highchair that we can't use, or a carseat that won't fit in DH's car.

The person that picked out that random crap for you probably put thought into it and thought you'd like it. Donate it to Goodwill for a tax deduction. You'd be annoyed if someone was generous enough to spend upwards of $200 on you for a carseat? Thats ridiculous. Exchange it.

Its more the attitude that people display about getting gifts at their baby showers on this board that bothers me. I tend to get people something off their registry and then something else more personal, because I like to give gifts and put some thought into it as opposed to giving someone a wipe warmer.

When I read my son a book and it has a note in it from a relative, its sweet. I couldn't tell you who bought me my boppy pillow.

Stephiehun · July 2011

I would be annoyed if someone spent $200 on something that I not only couldn't use, but had to lug down the BRU to return. It would also be a huge waste of time and money for someone to give a gift that's just going to be donated.

For the record, I haven't had a shower yet so I have no idea if I'll end up with a huge pile of stuff to complain about. Also, most of the big stuff has been bought off my registry already so I'm really just arguing for the sake of arguing.

I can still tell you who bought most of the stuff we got from the registry for our wedding. I think of my boss whenever we make pancakes on the huge griddle pan or use the cast iron pan.

I like giving gifts, too. I like giving things I know people want and will use.

Annabelle81 · July 2011

Stephiehun:
I would be annoyed if someone spent $200 on something that I not only couldn't use, but had to lug down the BRU to return. It would also be a huge waste of time and money for someone to give a gift that's just going to be donated.
For the record, I haven't had a shower yet so I have no idea if I'll end up with a huge pile of stuff to complain about. Also, most of the big stuff has been bought off my registry already so I'm really just arguing for the sake of arguing.
I can still tell you who bought most of the stuff we got from the registry for our wedding. I think of my boss whenever we make pancakes on the huge griddle pan or use the cast iron pan.
I like giving gifts, too. I like giving things I know people want and will use.

Me too. My husband would say this about me daily lately

Stephiehun · July 2011

LOL!

mrslandon · July 2011

With my son some of my best gifts were from friends who were new moms and knew better what worked than I did even after all my registry "research." I registered for Avent bottles, my kid and I both hated them, and I ended up digging out a pack of Playtex bottles someone had given me and I had shoved in a box thinking I wouldn't need them.

I wondered what the he!l I was going to do with a million bibs and when my kid was about 12 weeks old I found out that I really did need them or else I was changing his drooly shirt every 10 minutes. Yes, I also got some ugly "bless this child" frames and crap like that, and I did return some things that came with a receipt, but sometimes it really is nice to have stuff that has been new-mom tested and approved since you don't really know what you or your kid is going to like once you actually start using it all.

Matt Dvorak · July 2011

MrsEllis10:
HappyAardvark:
Stephiehun:
But if you're giving a gift, don't you want it to be something you know will be used?
I know it's the thought that counts, but it sucks to get stuff that you know you don't need, and hope it came with a gift receipt.
We were cleaning out the closet it the baby's room last weekend, and found a bunch of random candlesticks and crap like that. It was stuff that people got us as wedding/ shower presents that we never used. I feel bad about it, but they don't fit our decor and we have no use for them. I didn't register for brass candlesticks for a reason.
I'd rather buy off a registry and know that the person is getting something they wanted as opposed to picking up another cute outfit that may or may not fit the baby. I also would hate to give something that had to be returned.
ETA - for the record, I don't care if we don't get the specific sleepsacks or baby towels on the registry. I would be annoyed if someone got us a huge highchair that we can't use, or a carseat that won't fit in DH's car.
All of this.
How is it any different than calling your BIL to ask for suggestions on what to get your SIL for her birthday? The point is to buy someone a gift you know they will want and like. It's the attitude of people who just assume they know better than the gift recipient, without any regard for the recipient's taste, lifestyle, or preferences, is what's annoying. And for God's sake, if you're going to buy a gift off-registry, at least include a freaking gift receipt.
Moms are sort of particular about their babies. Call me crazy, but that just seems to be the way it is.

THIS!
My issue right now is all the things I got that I don't need didn't come with gift receipts. Now I have to go play stupid at Wal-mart, Target, K-mart and babies r us and see where it was purchased. You say just return the things you don't want, but being 36 weeks pregnant, miserable with the hot south and pressure in my cervix all while worrying every 5 seconds I'm going to pee myself makes it very difficult to just "exchange stuff". I did my registry for a reason. I wanted those things. Don't buy me 1st years if I registered for Graco. I did my research for a reason. It is not ungratefulness. I always buy off of a registry, ALWAYS! People spend time researching and scanning for a reason! A registry isn't for ideas, window shopping is for ideas. If someone needs ideas they can just go shopping.

Then just hold onto it and get rid of it when you have the time, or donate it if it's such a hassle for you to return gifts. I still think it's rude to complain about GIFTS.

Amya · July 2011

EmreighsMommy · July 2011

All of this. The way I see it is all of you ladies are right. No one HAS to buy off of the registry.

Yes, it's the thought that counts, we shouldn't expect a thing. That's 100% accurate. But if you're going to buy a gift, why not buy off of the registry. The point of the registry is to let people know what you need. If the point of the shower is to help the parents-to-be prepare for the baby and help them get the things they need, then what's wrong with wanting people to do just that, by providing a registry?

I made a small registry and ONLY listed things that we would really need for the baby. Mainly everyday things. What did we get? Clothes, clothes clothes and more clothes. That's it. Not one baby bath, diaper, bottle, diaper rash cream, nail clippers, zip... Just clothes.

Isn't it the common idea or belief that the point of a "shower" is to shower the mother with gifts in which will make life a little easier, things that are needed? I certainly didn't need 12 pink and white stripped onesies in different sizes all from walmart since they are really the only large retailer in our area... Let alone all the same ones. I do appreciate the clothes I got because lord knows we will need clothes but it's a little disappointing when all you have is a bag full of onesies and nothing the baby will ever need.

Just my opinion.

Ritzy19 · July 2011

I completely agree. I usually always buy off of people's registries just because I find it the most convenient, but I think actually complaining about not receiving your registry items is tacky.

angel2288 · July 2011

THANK YOU!!!

I thought i was the only one. I registered at 2 different stores (for variety in choice and prices) and so far, i have recieved nothing from either, only hand me down clothes, and i am thankful for them. If my family does decide to purchase anything FOR THE BABY, NOT ME, (i guarantee she does not care what pattern her stroller is, or what color burp cloth to throw up on) i will say thank you and honestly mean it, because i know that they did not have to buy anything at all. The only thing i ask of my family is to love my kids, anything else is a bonus.

abell77 · July 2011

Amen! And that pic of your son with the banana is adorable!

mcclj74 · July 2011

I got plenty of things both on and off my registry. I wound up keeping lots of things I didnt register for because a) I didnt know they existed or b) I really liked them. I used whatever store credits I had to purchase additional things off of my registry. It did urk me a little when someone bought me stuff that wasnt BPA free...but I made sure everyone knew I was so grateful for everything they bought, whether I intended to use it or not. They didnt have to buy me or the baby a thing!

PearlPink · July 2011

80-90% of our gifts were clothes which was fine, thankfully we got a variety of sizes and really no duplicates. I was actually surprised we didn't get more baby essentials because I'd never been to a shower in our circle where those things weren't given, but I was fine with our gifts. I took a few things back I wouldn't use, and used them to fill in some holes in our list. I did take back a few duplicate gifts (I don't need two baby bathtubs for instance) but I totally appreciate all the thought people put into the gifts for our little one. That being said, I buy from people's registries because I figure those are the things they really want, who am I to pick something else I think might be better, maybe they already have one!

Trishes · July 2011

I'm not quite sure how people spend 4 hours in the store looking at stuff and putting stuff on their registry anyway... DH and I were out in a little under an hour, maybe because we researched ahead of time and brought our Baby Bargains book with us? Either way, I looked at the registry as more of a reminder list of what we need.

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