cosleeping toddler help

Mrs.Teddy · July 2011

Hi ladies! I am looking for some advice and thinking this may be the best place to get it...

we still cosleep (at least partially) every night. L mostly starts off in his own bed and comes to us part way thru the night. Some nights at bedtime he asks to sleep in our bed and we let him. I believe that do to our shift work and long hours he needs this extra time with us at night. I don't want to confuse him by making him stop now, and we like having him with us.

However he always puts his hands down my top and plays with my breasts. Its a habit/comfort to him. I am not sure if its related to breastfeeding (I weaned around 1 yr when I returned to work). I always say no but he gets very upset with me, he even does it in his sleep. When he is tired he asks for his pacifier and "boobs".

I am trying to break this habit for a few reasons 1) I don't like him asking for "boobs" in public, its very clear what he is saying 2) he constantly has his hands in my top when we are in public if he is tired which I think he is getting too big for 3) I am TTC and am afraid for when I get pg and my nipples are sore I will be hash with him (he actually plays with the nipple and it can be uncomfortable) and I plan on BFing #2 so I want the habit to be broken by then.

DH thinks it fine to let him do in bed only. I don't agree so he is supporting this. I am having a hard time tho since he does it in his sleep as well (when he wakes, to soothe). I have resorted to sleeping with my back to him and even then he will reach around for them.

I talk to him and explain he can hold mama's hand, play with my hair, touch my neck or arms but not mama's boobs because they are private and it hurts me. I even point out photos in books where children and hugging their parents and say look the boy is holding his mommy's hand, not her boobs etc. He seems to get it and will listen and then a few moments later his hand is in my shirt.

I would prefer to continue cosleeping, but want to break this habit. Any advice/input? Thanks

Dreamsicle23 · July 2011

I agree with you. I would be extremely uncomfortable with a non-nursing toddler just playing with my boobs for the fun of it. I think you're doing the right thing by re-directing. At night, you can try to just restrict his access. Wear a sports bra and a top with a higher neck, like a regular crewneck t-shirt. Some other comfort object, like a blanket or stuffed animal might help too.

sacey21 · July 2011

My cousin's son does this and I've been noticing my dd's hand wandering down my shirt more frequently. When she does this I redirect her hand to my necklace and it has been distracting her. It's not good for my necklace, but it's better than my boobs!

Quazel · July 2011

I think the sports bra is a good idea. I am in a slightly similar situation except that DS is comfort nursing overnight, not using his hands. Saying no can cause a major meltdown. We are actually starting to work on it next week. If you come up with anything that works, I would love to hear!

erinwhitney1979 · July 2011

I feel like I could have written this post myself!! Our son is 4, and weaned when he was 3. We bedshare and when he goes to sleep at night, he wants to touch "nunu." When he's hurt, or scared, or tired (or anything) he wants nunu. Now that I'm pregnant, it's incredibly uncomfortable to me. We've tried to tell him he can't touch, almost to the point of telling him he'll get in trouble if he keeps doing it. He seems to be doing it more often now that I am pregnant, though.

I don't have much advice to offer, but I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and good luck. Our son tells me he wants to touch nunu because it makes his heart so happy. Good luck, mama!

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