Still lurking but looking for advice

stillwaiting12 · July 2011

I will start off by apologizing for errors and a run on paragraph. I am bumping from my hospital bed on my phone. A little history: I am 22 weeks and was admitted on Friday for what will be be remainder of this pregnancy. I had an emergent cerclage placed 4 weeks ago due to funneling and dilating. I lost our last pregnancy at 18 weeks a year ago and was told then it was a fluke. So.. Friday I had loads of discharge and went to be checked out to find that despite the cerclage I was dilating again and my membranes are bulging. Here I lay, in trendelenburg position, for hopefully a loooooong time. Reality is though that we are just praying to make it to 24 weeks and anything beyond that I will gladly accept as a huge gift! So, my question to you ladies is... How can I prepare for a preemie baby? What things should I be asking now? I know I still need to make it another 2 weeks minimum, I just want to know as much as I can so I can be sure my little man has the best shot possible at life. Thank you in advance.

st.augbride · July 2011

I just want to wish you the best of luck and hope that your LO hangs out in there for a while longer! I think having a sense of what the NICU will be like will probably be the most helpful thing, and if you work, figuring out how you will sort that out considering you will be on maternity leave before you even have a baby home. The NICU is the hardest to get used to since no matter how great the care is, it's hard leaving your baby there each day. We just kept reminding ourselves that it was the best thing for him. Plus, the days in the NICU are like a rollercoaster. One day LO does great; the next day it's a different story. So, try to know that that is normal. We also worked out a NICU visit schedule that helped us get through each day. If there's anything left to be done at home, maybe get family to help do it. Oh, and of course have preemie clothes/diapers ready to go, and if you haven't gotten a carseat yet, make sure you get one where the lower weight limit is 4lbs rather than 5lbs (like the Chicco Keyfit 30). This way you can take them home sooner!

ShannonSky · July 2011

Your NICU experience is going to totally depend on when you deliver. The longer you can hang in there, the better! Do your doctors have any idea of how long you'll be able to keep him in? I'm assuming everything is stable now...GL!

njdcgirl · July 2011

I'm so sorry you are in this position - praying that you can stay pregnant for much, much longer.

Like others said, I don't know if you can really "prepare" because depending when you deliver the issues you face could be drastically different (for that matter, each case is so different that I'm not sure you can compare even same GA exactly.) Of course, each day you keep LO in will improve their chances.

As for a near-term thing to think about, if you haven't already, I would talk to the neonatologists there and see at what age and what criteria they require to try and save your baby and what you and DH are comfortable with. Babies before 24 weeks can survive and thrive. I delivered my son at 23w5d (just after midnight so really 23w4d) after I got an infection (cerclage was done at 23w) and we were faced with decision of if we were going to even try and save him, since he was so on the cusp on viability. The situation was a little different since we were at a hospital without a L3 NICU so I was going to be transfered if we wanted. Obviously, we did, my son came out with two cries (which validated my thoughts of doing everything we could for him) and we've had an amazing outcome. We met several other families there with babies under 24 weeks, and there is even a 22-something weeker on this board who just went home!

I've also become a true believer in that the baby will let you know if they want to fight or if it is too much for them. Once LO is born, listen to the doctors, look at your baby, observe their condition and advocate for what is best for them. I can't tell you what that will be, but you will know as their parent. Man, I truely am sorry you are facing this, and hope that you are able to keep LO cooking for many more weeks and can post and ask questions about a 28 or 30- weeker in the future!

lax15bsu · July 2011

Clayliover is a bumpie on this board and went through almost exactly what you're going through - minus the cerclage. She had her twin girls last August at 25 wks. The girls spent 108 days in the NICU before going home. They are happy and healthy and turning 1 next month. I'll call her this morning and ask her to come share her story with you.

MrsLee22 · July 2011

I was placed on hospital bedrest at 22w4d for funneling/dialating and a bulging bag. I laid in Trendelenburg for 12 days before I delievered my twins at 24w1d. We've spent 108 days in the NICU so far but they are coming home tomorrow! So keep faith and know that your story CAN have a happy ending!

Natalie_may · July 2011

BostonKisses2:
Did you have a chance to talk to any of the neos yet? They are super helpful, and they can give you an idea of what to expect. And see if your H/SO can get a tour of the NICU to get an idea of what it's like there (ideally, if you could get a tour as well, that would be helpful, but I don't know if that's possible for you right now )
One thing you want to avoid is Dr. Google - if you have questions, ask a neo, a nurse, even ask on here, but don't Google stuff.
GL and (((hugs))). I hope you can keep your LO cooking for as long as possible. Keep us posted!

ITA with all of this! The Neos were so helpful and helped me to be realistic and positive at the same time. I would also make sure you have a good delivery plan in place, preterm delivery itself is a bit chaotic but it helped me to know the plan ahead of time so I knew what to expect. (I knew I would be a section so I was able to mentally ready myself) Good luck and I hope you have many more weeks to go!

stillwaiting12 · July 2011

Thanks for all of your information. Right now the doctors can't tell me if I will go in labor today or 10 weeks from now. He told me this morning that eventually my water will break which will be the cause of labor we just don't know when that's going to happen. Obviously I am hoping to hold on as long as possible. The neo nurse did come in and talk to us but all she did was tell us that if we deliver before mid 23 weeks there was nothing they could do for us except provide comfort care. She said she would come back next week to talk to us about if we can get to a viability stage what would happen from there but she said she didn't want to overwhelm us with info right now.

rachel06 · July 2011

Hi sweetie! Everyone has given great advice/tips. The hardest thing for me was not being able to hold him for awhile. People who don't have NICU babies have a hard time grasping the concept & that was something I wasn't prepared for. We were on his schedule & for whatever reason even our smart family/friends couldn't get that. Don't forget to take good care of yourself. You know if you ever need to talk I am just a phone call or text away. But I am sending lots of positive thoughts & prayers that you're in that hospital on bedrest for a good long while cooking that little man

Oh & we got our preemie clothes from Target, Walmart & Carters. We love our Chicco Keyfit btw. Super easy to use. I have some preemie clothes you are more than welcome to borrow for him. Hang in there sweetie!

stillwaiting12 · July 2011

Thanks Rachel. I am sure I will have questions for you once he is here. I am being stingy and want to get to at least 26-28 weeks but I will accept anything beyond 24. I have NOTHING for him yet. I realize he will be in the NICU for an extended period of time so j figure I will just have to get ready for him while he is here. I registered for a chicco seat too so I'm glad you like yours. Man, I am nervous!

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