Does 34 vs 35 make much of a difference infertility

Warriorcandy · July 2011

Hello Bumpies. I am more of a Nestie still at this point but i didn't know where to post. i apologize if this is not a good place and advice would be appreciated.

I am writing because i am 34 years old and my DH and i (im guessing thats darling husband?) had planned and trying to start trying for a baby around my 35th birthday in June. He is 5 years younger than me and turning 30 in Feb so we though that would be a nice time when we are both in our 30s.

I have been reading up on it a lot though and went off the pill starting this month after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and realizing charting your cycle requires readjusting and thus not being on the pill. I also read it can sometimes take a while to get back to normal cycles.

So now after reading so many warnings about TTC past 35 i am wondering, would it be worthwhile or make sense to try to start eariler or does one year or even a couple of months prior to 35 make that much of a difference? I know ideally my husband would like to wait till our original time frame and we have a lot of stuff coming up (a move in the spring and change of jobs). We are saving money but ofcourse if this year will make a difference, and since we both want children and understand that it's hard to time it perfectly, then i might ask him about starting early. Before i do that I'd love to hear your advice and suggestions and see if anyone has any idea of the difference in chances between trying now or in 11 months. Thank you for listening. I really want to be a mommy and we really want two kids ideally.

Peppernut · July 2011

Don't fret! They had to pick an age, so they went with 35. There's no magic *ding* that happens on your 35th birthday that makes it harder. Some women have trouble sooner, some, like me, haven't had trouble with conception yet. (I'm 43.) If you're really worried, there are hormonal workups and things you can do to check your reproductive health, but even those aren't necessarily definitive.

You can ask your GYN, but my completely non-professional opinion is you should be just fine in February.

Good luck!

Augustbride · July 2011

I think the biggest thing to remember is that for some people it takes time, others need help and others the wind blows and they can have a baby. No one can tell you how long it will take you to conceive. My doctor said the following to me. Do you really think your risks are so much less if you conceive a baby 2 months before your 35 birthday vs 2 months after? 35 is the line in the sand the doctors have drawn at this point to recommend additional steps. You need to do this when you are comfortable. Yes at some point everyone's eggs get older but science can't tell you that your age is X for this to happen and someone else is Y. I didn't really give you an answer but I hope I gave you some additional view points to think about.

CheezeFace · July 2011

I may get flamed for this opinion/advice but I can only draw on personal experience. My DH and I had a time line - much like yours. We are both fairly career driven and we wanted a couple of things to happen before kids came into the picture. I also wanted a different house, I had a vacation I desperately wanted to take, I didn't want to be PG at my sister's wedding (ugh. stupid), etc...Looking back at all the time I wasted I just want to kick myself.

When the "right" time came along and we ended up with negative after negative, after negative, I really couldn't understand it. It was time. I had it planned. I had done everything according to my schedule (insert snicker from Mother Nature here). Our infertility was in that scary unexplained category, the only risk factor we had against us was our age.

I'm truly not telling you this to scare you - and there is a greater chance that your won't have problems than that you will. However, if I had been aware of the expense, the emotional toll and the idea that this just wasn't going to be easy for us, I would have been more prepared and may have started earlier. Again, though, you won't know until you try and you may have absolutely no issues at all.

Also, feel free to post here anytime. This board is full of wonderful ladies and information.

Jerzee1974 · July 2011

Age is not the only factor. But just keep in mind each of our bodies have their own idea of what it wants to do......

Best wishes and listen to Cheezeface - you are welcome back anytime.....

stever · July 2011

My own personal experience is that it doesn't make much of a difference. I decided to TTC DS on my 35th birthday because of my fears about fertility after 35... and I got pregnant on or around my 35th birthday.

bridgeybride · July 2011

I also agree with Cheeseface and Jerzee... you may have absolutely no difficulty and may get pregnant on the very first "try" according to your plan... but life doesn't always work out to a plan.. as much as we'd like it to. You really never know.. AND there will always be something....

Good luck and yes.. you're welcome back here anytime.

tbaban · July 2011

Like another post stated, there is no "magical" switch that flips when you turn 35, so if you're fertile at 34, most likely you will be at 35. I would suggest having some baseline fertility testing done now so you know where you stand when you want to start trying. My DH and I started trying at 35 and by 36 when I still wasn't pregnant for unknown reasons, I started having some testing done. We found out that not only did my husband have some weak swimmers, I had a very low AMH level which meant that I didn't have very many eggs left. All that being said, my doc did not want me wasting anymore eggs than I had to every month, so we opted for some help. Clomid didn't work for me, so we had an IUI done. I wish I had had all the testing done when we knew we wanted to start trying b/c it would have saved us a year and some heartache of having one negative test after another. So, I urge you to have all your testing done now so you know you're good to go when you're ready. And that means for your husband, too. Just b/c he's young, doesn't mean he shouldn't be tested...and it's much easier for him to get tested than you! Good luck and I'm sure it will all be great!

Geeps2 · July 2011

Welcome! As everyone has stated there is no magic 8 ball to see if you will be fertile mertle or have issues. I just got married in March at the age of 36 I turned 37 in April and right after my birthday I found out we were pregnant. It was our first shot out of the gate. It ended in a miscarriage but in the meantime we went to see a RE and were awaiting my period to start testing and low and behold I got pregnant again. I happen to be very lucky. I have friends that have unexplained infertility and would give their left arm to have a baby and they are way younger than me! You just never know until you start trying.

Good Luck!

Warriorcandy · July 2011

Thanks everyone. You are all so sweet and your advice has been very helpful.

Perhaps I will see how i am doing off the pill, if i ovulate normally and my cycle stays regular as it did before i started it 2 and a half years ago. I will also get some general tests done. If I'm all good then I'll hang in there and go with plan A but if things seem like they could be more challenging then perhaps i will see if Husband is willing to get on it a bit earlier so we have more time to work with.

It's great to have these boards though and not to feel like I'm the only person with silly questions or concerns or like everything is as bad as the worst version or as perfect as the best.

Thanks gals!

BarefootContess · July 2011

Charting should give you a good idea if you ovulate regularly -- so that is great you are learning about it. You can tell a lot about your fertility from charting.

FWIW: I got PG on my first try at age 35 and carried to term. I have since had four other pregnancies, three of which have gone term (one m/c at nine weeks). So between 35-40 I have had four children. It is hard to make blanket statements or predictions just based on age alone.

Holli0303 · July 2011

My doctor told me that the reason age 35 starts the additional testing is because the risk of the tests (like amnio etc) pose a .5% threat of miscarriage and there is a .5% chance of something going wrong starting at 35. The risks are even so to speak. While the younger the egg, statistically the better, I don't see what a few months are going to change. Like the previous posters said, you will likely either have the same problems (or none at all) at 34 that you will at 35. Good Luck.

babyAutumn · July 2011

I had my first at 30, my second at 32 and am preggo with my third due in Sept and I am 36. It took three months to conceive this time around. I was really worried that it would take forever but you never really know. My SIL and brother started trying when they were 27 and 29 and it took them almost four years to conceive. I was more worried about complications than TTC after 35. Good Luck Smile

paulaanne · July 2011

I turned 35 in early June and stressed over the age factor in TTC, well there was no need to stress for me - I got pregnant on my first try (May). I worried for nothing! I know everyone is different, but for me - age played no role obviously.

Good Luck!

SFAug07 · July 2011

34 vs. 35 doesn't make a big difference. You should be fine. I got pregnant really easily for our first (at 37) and needed some medication for this baby (at 39), but don't think it was age related.

Good luck!

Warriorcandy · July 2011

Oh my goodness! Hearing all of your stories and seeing the photos and tickers for your sweet babies is very inspiring. I have just started charting and i basically sent off the pill from the time my last period came so it could be a couple of months until my cycles regulate. I just want to plan everything a best as i can. By focusing on things like my overall health of mind body and environment I feel like i am at least eliminating those as factors for difficulties. Age was the only one where I worried that perhaps I was taking my chances for granted. It's seems like most of you think that it wont make enough difference at this point in my life to justify pushing it any sooner than our original plan.

We want two children. Ideally they will have about a year and a half to two years between them and be healthy. That's the dream.

Thanks everyone and keep the stories coming. We all have different journeys.

fairy_diva · July 2011

My husband and I were 32 (he) & 37 (me) when we married this past September. I will admit that I was a little concerned myself about conceiving and how much time we would have. We decided to start right away, and luckily I have always kept up with my cycles on My Monthly Cycles.com because I'm horrible at keeping up with when I was due, so I also had and idea of when I would be fertile. We were married Sept 25, and we had a miscarriage on Nov 22 which really had nothing to do with my age. I would have only been 4 weeks, but since I knew my body I had taken a Early Result PGT the week before and it was BFP! Although this broke our hearts, we continued to try ^ successfully conceived somewhere around Dec 6, since was BFP again the week of Christmas! So far we have a healthy pregnancy, but I will say we decided against the genetic testing and counseling.

My OB has not been worried about my age, she did mention that the risk of downs is higher than a 27 year old but did nothing to alarm or pressure us. I am an RN with Hospice and I can tell you we have seen 3 babies with Trisomy 13 & 18, and both to 20-24 yr old couples. It can happen to anyone at any age.

Warriorcandy · July 2011

congrats to you my dear!!!! love to hear a good story!

Does 34 vs 35 make much of a difference infertility

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