Parenting after 35

Do you give your DH a "honey-do" list?

and does he actually do the things on there?  We have stuff that has to be done because we need to put our house on the market, so I wrote out a list over Memorial Day and all of about two things are still on there.  DH will do other stuff that is not on the list and less important.  I am having a c-s on Tuesday and am feeling very frustrated that I will be coming home to a wreck and unable to do much.   

Re: Do you give your DH a "honey-do" list?

  • PeskyPesky member
    Yes and no.  It's more of a communal "to do" list and helps both of us focus on what we need to do.  Because it is communal, there is less of the "you're trying to tell me what to do" kind of rebellion.  Maybe sit down with him and instead say "hey, trying to think of other things we need to do to get the house ready for sale.  I'm starting to get really freaked out about that with the new baby on the way.  Could you help me brainstorm so we can prioritize where we need to be spending our time?"  Now with the c-section coming up, the "we" really means him but it's all about optics at this point and both of you pulling towards the same goal.  By having  him help you come up with the list creates greater ownership and responsibility.  Plus he might come up with some stuff you haven't thought about.


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    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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  • imagePesky:
    Yes and no.  It's more of a communal "to do" list and helps both of us focus on what we need to do.  Because it is communal, there is less of the "you're trying to tell me what to do" kind of rebellion.  Maybe sit down with him and instead say "hey, trying to think of other things we need to do to get the house ready for sale.  I'm starting to get really freaked out about that with the new baby on the way.  Could you help me brainstorm so we can prioritize where we need to be spending our time?"  Now with the c-section coming up, the "we" really means him but it's all about opt ics at this point and both of you pulling towards the same goal.  By having  him help you come up with the list creates greater ownership and responsibility.  Plus he might come up with some stuff you haven't thought about.

    Thanks for the reply.  Maybe more involvement from him will help get things done.  Maybe he will surprise me and get stuff done while I am in the hospital.   

  • steverstever member
    Sometimes. He usually asks what needs to be done on the weekends. He's a sweetie.
  • We don't have a list per se, but knows he is in charge of cleaning the litter boxes, grilling when we do grill, taking J. to school/picking him up 60% of the time, and negotiating with contractors. That's pretty much it when it comes to doing things around the house.

    GL on Tuesday!

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  • I've tried, but he'll pretty much only do stuff that I ask him to do the same day, and even then he "forgets" sometimes.  The only thing he does without my asking is the cat boxes once a week and taking the garbage to the curb once a week.
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