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XP:Daycare drop off and attachment issues (long)

annie357sannie357s member
in Attachment Parenting

DS has been in DC for a year now.  DH is usually the one to drop him off and the worst that would happen is DS would cry for a minute when he left and then move on.  Three weeks ago DS and I went on vacation to my parents.  He was super attached to me, he wouldn't let me out of his sight until we had been there for most of the week.

We get back and I decide to start dropping him off at DC.  It is on the campus where I work so I decided to park where I normally do (instead of at the DC) and wear DS in my MT for a nice long walk before I drop him off.  He started sobbing uncontrollably when I dropped him off, for up to 30 minutes after I left.

I was told by my DC that he is showing attachment issues and to let him walk up to the front door like a big boy (instead of wearing him).

Last week DC was closed so DS spent all week with either me or DH.

I asked DH to drop off DS this morning to see if that helped with the sobbing and it didn't.  There was at least 30 minutes of sobbing while DH was there and maybe more. 

I'm hoping that this is a phase and when we get back into the routine DS will be happier being dropped off.  

Do you think I'm making the situation worse by wearing him for a walk before drop off? 

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Re: XP:Daycare drop off and attachment issues (long)

  • aglennaglenn member
    I would give that comment the side eye.  I doubt that wearing him has anything to do with it at all.  DD just goes through phases where drop off is hard for a while, and eventually she does kind of get through whatever it is and go back to just giving us hugs and saying goodbye.  I think it's just part of the usual toddlerhood stuff; they are constantly pulled between dependence and independence.  It's tough on them (and us, as parents).  Hang in there, and I hope things get better soon!
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  • Dreamsicle23Dreamsicle23 member
    imageannie357s:

    I asked DH to drop off DS this morning to see if that helped with the sobbing and it didn't.  There was at least 30 minutes of sobbing while DH was there and maybe more. 

    Do you usually linger that long if he cries?  By hanging around, instead of comforting him, you're actually sending the message that you're not really ok with leaving him.  I would try to make drop offs as short and sweet as possible.

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  • annie357sannie357s member
    imageDreamsicle23:
    imageannie357s:

    I asked DH to drop off DS this morning to see if that helped with the sobbing and it didn't.  There was at least 30 minutes of sobbing while DH was there and maybe more. 

    Do you usually linger that long if he cries?  By hanging around, instead of comforting him, you're actually sending the message that you're not really ok with leaving him.  I would try to make drop offs as short and sweet as possible.

    No, we don't.  Dh usually stays about 5 minutes, get DS engaged in playing and leaves.  My guess is he didn't want to leave with DS so upset since he normally is pretty happy.  When I pick him up I will find out if he was still crying after DH left.  

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  • annie357sannie357s member

    imageaglenn:
    I would give that comment the side eye.  I doubt that wearing him has anything to do with it at all.  DD just goes through phases where drop off is hard for a while, and eventually she does kind of get through whatever it is and go back to just giving us hugs and saying goodbye.  I think it's just part of the usual toddlerhood stuff; they are constantly pulled between dependence and independence.  It's tough on them (and us, as parents).  Hang in there, and I hope things get better soon!

     Thanks!  I really enjoy the morning walks.  It is excellent one on one time and good exercise as well.  I would like to start them up again.  I guess I will just ignore it if DC says anything about it.  

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  • Harper'smomHarper'smom

    I see that your lo is 16 mos. That is just about the age DD was when she hit her separation anxiety peak. It is develpmentally normal sometime around 18mos. If you Google it I remember there being a lot of articles about the topic. For us though most of the problems were at bed time. I wore her a lot during those few months and it was the only thing that helped with the clingyness. All heck would break loose if we would even attempt putting her in the stroller. You just have to prepare yourself mentally to weather the storm. And FWIW DD is 2 and a half and although she started pre-school last September I still have a tough time getting her to walk into school on her own feet some mornings. I see most of the other kids in her class being carried now and again as well. It seems pretty normal.

     

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