moving...becoming SAHM...trying not to freak out (long)

monkey_pants · July 2011

This past week, DH was offered a new role at his company that would be a great experience for him...but we'd have to move to London for a few years! The company doesn't commit to a specific time frame, but we've decided we'd want to be home in 3 yrs, so DD could start school back in the states. We'd probably move there in Sept or Oct. It's not official yet, but it's so huge that I can't fathom it just yet. Here's what I'm freaking out about:

1. We JUST finished renovating our apt and it's amazing. I can't believe that after moving back in in January, we'd now end up renting it out for a few years. I love that we'd have someplace fantastic to move back home to, but I'm really sad to leave it so soon.

2. Neither of us have ever moved as an adult. We both came to NY for college 15 yrs ago and haven't left because we love it. I literally don't know how to make new friends. That's not to say I haven't made new friends in the last 15 yrs, it's just that it always happened organically and now we'd have to actually try to make friends. DH isn't social at all and I've gotten less so since we've been together, so I'm pretty scared about that.

3. I'll have to quit my job. I LOVE my job, however I've been going back and forth recently about whether I'd rather go freelance or work from home part-time to have more flexibility to get things done around the house. So now it looks like I'll be a SAHM. I love the idea of being able to spend more time with DD than I do now, however I don't really want to be a 24/7 SAHM. The plan would be to get help 2-3 days/week so I don't feel completely tied to DD and can get our new home set up.

4. We love our nanny. I'm so sad we'll have to let her go, plus the timing is bad as lots of nannies are out of jobs or about to be when people send their kids to school in the fall. I interviewed 14 people to find her and she's been so great with DD. She knows so much stuff that I don't, esp about baby development -- I'm worried I won't be as good.

5. Just in general worried I'll feel isolated living somewhere new with a baby and DH in a new job that will inevitably keep him very busy. He already works a ton and I'm sure it will be worse in his new role, especially as he gets settled. I'm sad to be farther from our families, too.

This is just too much change for me to wrap my little head around! London is such an amazing place and part of me is excited, too. Have any of you moved to a new place (before or after having LOs) where you don't know anyone and can give me some advice about how to handle the change? DH and I are so set in our ways that this is going to be a huge adjustment...

Aviee · July 2011

That sounds so exciting! You'll do awesome with your LO. Better than you think, I bet :-}

Good luck! Have fun! I haven't had to move like that before, but I think it would be wonderful. You AND LO would be seeing everything new all the time!

navyandviolet · July 2011

I know I would have so many questions buzzing around in my head too. But this will be a great experience for your family. And studies show that the most successful adults spent some time abroad as a child. You will easily find people to connect with while you are there, there are so many groups you could find through the web. I am excited for you. It will be an adventure.

Lilleybug · July 2011

I have not moved with a new LO, but I did have to move for various circumstances before my senior year of high school. I moved from CA to TN. It was very ahrd the first year. I didnt want to make new friends and I certainly did not want to move before my senior year. After the first year though, I met some of the best friends I have ever known. Looking back it was an amazing experience and if I had the chance I would do it all over again. Its normal to be anxious, but my aunt once told me "Bloom where you are planted". You may not see it now but years from now you may look back and realize that it was one of the best things that ever happened!

sunflower.17 · July 2011

wi totally agree with pp's! i have tons of questions and anxiety when we move somewhere new, my dh's job requires a lot of travel, we never get to go anywhere like london though! i'm also sure you will do better with your lo than you give yourself credit for. we have met some awesome people wherever we've been, and i am painfully shy! it will be such an amazing experience for your family!

monkey_pants · July 2011

Thanks everyone! It's hard to focus on all the exciting new things we'll be seeing and doing right now since I'm still in shock. Thanks for reminding me what a great experience this could be.

ninafarina · July 2011

I am so jealous - I would love the chance to live abroad with DD and DH, but we are pretty locked in here - where in NY are you? I'm looking for a nanny

)

GracieMaeLovey · July 2011

I agree with the others- that's sounds really cool! The part I like most about it is that it's temporary. Honestly, three years is nothing these days, at least for me. What an experience for you and your family! I say embrace and enjoy! Although, easy for me to say, b/c I've never experienced something similar. DH's career path may offer a relocation someday and I like to think I'd be wide open to it. I'm truly excited for you- keep us posted!

christyp80 · July 2011

I've moved a lot my whole life. I moved from CA to MD when I was 12, from MD to CO when I was 23, and from CO to MN when I was 27.

The move to Minn was the toughest because I moved by myself, to a place where I knew no one. I moved here for grad school, and literally knew NO ONE. I was single, in a strange city, with no job and no friends. It was one of the coolest things I've ever done. I learned to be more outgoing--I would strike up a conversation with just about anyone. In the library, in Starbucks, in Panera Bread, at the gym. Sometimes the person would chat with me easily, sometimes they would look at me like "who is this person and why is she talking to me?" But who cares? If they thought I was weird, oh well. It was an adventure that I'm so glad I took on! I met my wonderful hubby, we have lots of friends here, and now we have Auds.

If I were you, I would get online and see if there is a mommy group you could join. There are also usually groups online (especially in a big city like London) for people who are new to the area. And in a place like London, you're going to find tons of people who aren't from the area and are probably looking for new friends too.

What a great experience! Good luck with everything!

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