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D.C. Area Babies
Yikes - DD #1's fear of water/swim lessons
DD #1 (over four years old) had swim lesson #2 today and it did not go well... again. She screamed the whole time and said she doesn't want to go in deep water. This is a class where mom/dad are NOT in the pool with the kids - they're on their own. The instructor is very good but DD's still scared. What to do???
PS, I can thank one of my MIL's for all of this - last summer DD #1 got freaked out at the pool when that particular MIL let her fall under water several times before DD was ready.... sigh
Wife, Musician, Fed, WW-er, and Mom of three little kids - not necessarily in that order.
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Re: Yikes - DD #1's fear of water/swim lessons
oh no! what does the instructor say?
I have no advice and am ashamed to admit we have yet to do any swim lessons
Personally I'm not a fan of lessons where the kids can't stand. Is there another pool in the area where she might be able to take lessons and stand? The pool I used to teach in (in PA) had a fairly large 3 ft section where we did lessons for the younger kids.
The only other thing I can think of is maybe having you go in with her. Or private lessons?
DD just finished her first round of real swimming lessons. Prior to them, she refused to put her head in the water at all...she'd cling to DH and me like a baby. I think the thing that helped her feel secure in this situation was being in water shallow enough to stand (though she was a head shorter than all the other kids, so while they could stand on the pool bottom, she had to stay on the stairs). They were never forced into water they weren't comfortable with. By the last day of the two-week session, she jumped off high diving boards (wearing a life jacket) but still failed the head-under-the-water part of the test. Yet when we brought her to the pool three days later, she dunked her head about 30 times...she was just ready and had gained the confidence. So if yours is anything like mine, she needs to feel safe and in control, first and foremost, or nothing productive will be achieved...and then she'll do it when she's ready.
Can you see about lessons in shallow water, or her wearing some sort of life jacket or other "security item" that could set her mind at ease (even if it's just for show)? Maybe this round of lessons, she'll need to just observe and watch the other kids, and after you and DH practising with her a bit over the coming weeks, you'll still have to sign her up again towards the end of the summer for a repeat? I was sure that would have to happen for mine, but something just clicked and she's on her way to becoming a little fish.
This is really helpful. I am starting to feel really guilty about getting her into a class that she totally hates and is making her scared. Maybe I'll just give up on this one. It was through Ffx County and was like $90 or something - should I just ditch the rest of the classes? Not being able to touch her feet to the bottom is what she's freaking out about - surely there is a way to teach her to swim in shallow water....???
Oh, and she's taken up thumb sucking again - since last Saturday, when DH "forced" her to swim in Lake Martin on vacation (with a life vest on) when she didn't want to.
What a mess.
We've learned (usually the hard way) that forcing DD to do something will backfire. We tried everything on our own to get her comfortable in the pool. But we didn't want her to fear the water and therefore make learning to swim ten times harder, since it's a safety thing for us. I don't care if she doesn't like swimming...but she needs to be able to do it. I'm all for sometimes having to force your kid out of their comfort zone, which is why I signed DD up for the ones where the parents don't participate. But if you think this is going to scar your DD (since it seems like your lovely MIL already may have), I'd say to back off and call these lessons a wash. Find somewhere that offers shallow-water lessons and try again (my DD's were in the 2.5-3 foot section, and I'm guessing she's 38 inches tall). Maybe you could get a credit for this class and apply it to one later in the summer if you sign up now to show your intention?
Which rec center was it? We did Baby and Me at Providence and the Pee-wee swimmers were in the beach part, so it was a very large gradual incline. There were three groups going on at the same time (baby and me, pee wee two, and pee wee three or four--I can't remember). The last group was in the deep end, but I thought they looked 6-7ish. The baby group started at the beginning of the beach and we moved into 4 feet; the middle group was always in the 2 feet or less beach area.
Edit: I wonder if Fairfax parks and rec could transfer you to a center with the beach area.
I use to teach swimming lessons and kids seem to get some irrational fears about the water and making them swim or making them get in the water tends to make it worse. Do you know any teenagers who are on swim teams or who lifeguard that could work with her one on one? I always let kids start off with their swim arm things or a vest- whatever they were comfortable with. A lot of times it just took one or two sessions to get a kid really comfortable with the idea of swimming and then they became fish :-) Also, it always helped if their parents were not the ones trying to teach them.