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Preemies
Unique Situation Need Help Please!!!
Hello bumpers, I was refered by a friend that this was a great place to find information and a community of people who can help us out. I'll say quickly that my husband and I are at 9 years TTC with PCOS and have also had 3 failed private adoptions in the last 5 years. We are now in a unique situation. Next week we will be granted gaurdianship in a non-relative Kinship Care case of a good friends grandson whom they can not take care of due to thier own medical issues.Since this case is through DHS we know nothing yet, until we get to the hospital! I have been doing mass research on what to expect and ask the nurses and dr's but I am starting to be so overwhlemed and worried. Here is the only information I have, Baby Boy was born at 27 weeks, is now 30 weeks. I know he was born at a little over 2 pounds, he was delivered vaginaly in breech position due a lack of responsibility of his birthparent who ignored the dr's orders in the hospital.We know that he did not go through a withdawl of drugs so they weren't in his system (Thank Jesus) We know he has a feeding tube, but don't know what other things he is hooked up too. We do not know if a bleed occured. I guess my question for you guys is this, I want to start a list of things to ask the Dr and Nurses. What should I know going in? I have never been in a NICU, or even been around a preemie, I have been a Nanny for 15 years but never for a preemie. Any kind of information you can send our way would be so appreciated. Once our paperwork is through they told us as early as Monday, that we can start going to the hospital, He has been there for 3 weeks alone 
it breaks my heart. I know that the road ahead of us is going to be a hard roller coaster, but maybe having people who have been through or going through this will be a great blessing. My husband and I are all in on whatever comes our way, We feel like even if he gets taken away from us down the road that at least he wouldnt have spent this time alone. Thanks in advance.
it breaks my heart. I know that the road ahead of us is going to be a hard roller coaster, but maybe having people who have been through or going through this will be a great blessing. My husband and I are all in on whatever comes our way, We feel like even if he gets taken away from us down the road that at least he wouldnt have spent this time alone. Thanks in advance. This discussion has been closed.
Re: Unique Situation Need Help Please!!!
What a blessing you will be for this little boy! He is very lucky that you and your husband will be pulling for him in the NICU-babies who have constant family support/advocacy tend to do better.
From the limited information you have now, it sounds like he is on a similar path to my DD (also a 27-weeker). We spent 73 days in the NICU and came home just before her due date. Some questions to ask:
-What interventions were required for breathing? (ventilator, CPAP, cannula)
-Has he had an eye exam for ROP? (Retinopathy of Prematurity, associated with the oxygen levels preemies are on at birth)
-Does he have any heart problems? What about lung issues? Brain bleeds?
-Since he was delivered breech, you will want to have them do a hip ultrasound before discharge to check for any dislocation.
-For feeding: what is he currently taking (quantity and type of formula/fortifier), when do they expect to start bottle feeding (usually around 34 weeks)
-Ask to see his growth curves so you can see his weight gain. length and head growth
-Ask for any other details they can give you about what caused his premature birth.
Good luck! Keep us posted on what you learn and we will help you navigate the NICU experience. Its a long emotional journey but you will make it through!
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
Wow - that is quite a situation, and kudos to you and your husband for being there for that little guy! Try to hold him as much as possible, and do kangaroo care (skin to skin - google it if you haven't heard about it) if they will let you. Even if you can't hold him right away, get your hands on him as soon as you can (I would sit for hours with my hands on my son's back or head or hand when we couldn't hold him). All that physical touch makes a great positive difference.
One thing I found from the NICU is that you will get a crash course in medicine - like it or not! It seems like you already have a good list of questions going - respitory status, bleed or other issues, feeding status (they probably won't start bottle feeding for several more weeks - usually around 34 weeks the sucking reflex kicks in - but you'll want to know how much he is getting and if he is on TPN or getting all his nutrition via tube.) If they don't do it, I'd request a sit-down with the doctors and maybe the social worker if there is one once you have access for a full report on the baby's history, current status, and plan for discharge. The nurses should become your best friends - they do a great job of translating doctor-speak. And, please come back and post any questions as you are going along. I think you are doing an awesome thing, and I hope everything works out well for you and the baby moving forward.
One more thing - a resource I found very helpful was the Preemies - Second Edition: The Essential Guide for Parents of Premature Babies. There aren't too many preemie books out there. Also check out the march of Dimes website, they have a lot of preemie resources too. Good luck!
One of my friends from high school went through this. They adopted a 27 weeker. Mom was drug addicted and had no prenatal care. He is doing awesome. Just go in and be honest with the doctors and nurses. Let them know you want to know what to do and what kinds of questions to ask, but you aren't sure where to start. Hold him as much as they will let you.
You are a blessing to this little boy. Thank you for caring so much. You are going to do great!
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
you are amazing parents already for not only taking this challenge on, but embracing it and all of its challenges completely.
i completely agree with getting the essential guide to preemies. it will give you great info as things come up. keep in mind that it really is a rollercoaster - he will do great today and not to great tomorrow. it's emotional and difficult, but it's also temporary.
good luck and keep us updated!
Thank you all so much for all the advice, I have written everything down and will go hunt down the book at B&N tomorrow after church. I will give everyone an update when I know more next week. The words of encouragement are so greatly appreciated, I am already feeling better knowing we have so many people who have been through it or are still going through it to help guide us. God Bless each and everyone of you. You all have made my heart happy today. Oh and as you can see we gave him a name today, the nurses gave him one already but we were told we can change it if we want and when and if we are able to adopt him we can change it legally. He doesn't know it yet.. But he is going to be William Greyson.
William is a family name from my grandfather and little brother. But we are going to call him Greyson.
"The will of God will never take us, where the grace of God will not protect us".
I know I'm a little late responding but I wanted to say congratulations! And I love the name you chose for him. And don't worry-- you'll do fine in the NICU. A couple things to consider...
- Tell the nurses that you'd like to be as involved as possible. You can change his diaper, give him little sponge baths and even take his temperature.
- Take a soft blanket with you so you can do kangaroo care with him. That will not only help him immensely but will be great for bonding, too.
- Bring a thick hand lotion with you. You'll be washing your hands about twenty times a day.
Other than that, I think the PP gave great advice and congrats again!!
It sounds like everyone has some great suggestions on things to ask, but I just wanted to address this statement to maybe make you feel better.
There was a little boy in our NICU whose birth mom lived 2 hours away. She was overwhelmed with the thought of having a baby in the NICU, never visited and when he was several weeks old agreed to let a family member adopt him. The family member lived out of state and could only visit him once a month. Our nurses treated that baby like he was their own. They fought over him and cuddled him and sang to him and loved him. Once he was moved to intermediate, there was a volunteer that would come in every day for hours to rock him. I know that he never felt unloved, alone or abandoned.
Waitingforgrace, Thank you so much for telling me that story. This morning has been a hard morning for me, as we haven't heard back from our social worker since Friday! I have called several times today and wrote and email. I'm in a very small town about an hour away from the hospital Greyson is in. Our town has a small CPS with most of the workers going in between 7 or more counties, so I know she is really overworked and super busy, but I don't want things being held up on our end. I kind of feel like this is an emergency and should be treated as such. I havent slept in almost 48 hours because I have this overwhelming anxious guilt about not being there to be with him yet, I have been in constant prayer as I try to busy myself with housework and getting all of our papers in order. We have only told a limited amount of people in our family, until we know more and I let my special group of girls (my prayer warriors lol who have been my tower of strength through the last 9 years of infertility and failed adoptions). So I am starting to feel a litte more at ease and then today I see this. Thank you so much. I feels so much better to know the nurses love all the babies in the NICU. I will keep you all updated, hopefuly we will hear something this afternoon.
They had us bring in blankets and black and white pictures of DH and I to post up in her incubator so she could look at them.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I know I'm late posting, but this little man is so lucky to have you guys!!! I know everyone else answered your first post, so I'll just chime in with the last post. The NICU had us bring pictures, a stuffed animal or anything we wanted to make her area and isolette feel like "home". We actually took a picture of our two dogs and she always had her head turned looking at them, we had to switch it to the other side!
Keep us posted when you can!! This board is so helpful!!