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Ugh...thoughts of another preemie...I dont know what to do...

Imprezachic991Imprezachic991
in Preemies

My LO's birthday is coming up (July 25th) and I have felt nothing but depressed these past few days.  He was born at 30w 1 day.   My husband and I had planned (before we had a preemie) to start trying again for #2 once Cameron turned 1.  Now I feel like I have a raging war going on with my feelings.  I want to have another baby soo bad but I am absolutely terrified.  We were the first of our group of friends to have a child and now they are all bringing babies into the world and I can't help but to feel jealous.  My heart is aching to have another little one and to successfully breast feed (I EP for 2 months and could never get him to latch, etc) and to have a natural birth, but the logical part of me says no way.

 To prepare for another preemie...How would I go through pregnancy again and not worry all the time? Esp. since I had him so early for unknown reasons? OH...sorry for the rant.  I feel like if we never have another child I will regret it but at the same time, if we have another preemie, I will feel so guilty for bringing a baby into the world for my selfish reasons.

 

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Re: Ugh...thoughts of another preemie...I dont know what to do...

  • schenkertobeschenkertobe

    Congrats on your LO! I can certainly relate to your feelings. Having had a loss at 23 weeks and a 31 week preemie, I know I will likely have another preemie next time around. My heart aches to have a happy and exciting L&D experience and not one filled with fear. But, there are many ladies on here who have gone on to have full term or very close to full term babies, and that gives me hope.

    What were the circumstances that led to your having a preemie? I would suggest meeting with a high risk doctor and discussing what you precautionary steps you can make with your next pregnancy to reduce the chances of a preterm birth happening again. I know I felt much better about another pregnancy after I met with my MFM. Good luck!

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  • njdcgirlnjdcgirl member
    imageschenkertobe:

    What were the circumstances that led to your having a preemie? I would suggest meeting with a high risk doctor and discussing what you precautionary steps you can make with your next pregnancy to reduce the chances of a preterm birth happening again. I know I felt much better about another pregnancy after I met with my MFM. Good luck!

    This is what I would suggest too.  A MFM can help you figure out the risks of reoccurance, and discuss a plan of action for when you get pregnant again.  Hopefully that will help feel comfortable moving forward with another pregnancy.

    I'm in a similar position (one year old, and wanted our kids close in age), but we have decided not to try again.  It was a hard, painful decision, but one that is best for our family.  We plan to adopt in the future to complete our family.  Good luck to you!

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  • Imprezachic991Imprezachic991

    No one knows EXACTLY why it happened. I have a theory though.  The only US that I received other than at 9 weeks was at the 20 week mark to check on the baby and to get the sex.  I never had another ultrasound until they measured my cervix (didn't check the baby at that one) and then after my water broke.  At the appointment after my water broke they discovered that I had more amniotic fluid than a woman has when her water hasn't broken.  So it's a possibility that I had too much amniotic fluid but didn't know because I didn't have an ultrasound after 20 weeks.  With that being said, it's called polyhydramnios. Apparently it happens 1/100 pregnancies and usually resolves on its own if it isn't a fetal issue.  It can occur of the babies blood is in compatible with mine....which could have been whyit happened.  I'm 0- and the baby is A+.  So, it could happen again (my husband is +).  I did receive the RH shots though so I'm not sure how that will affect the second time around.

     

    I just don't know what to do.... 

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  • crazyanimalscrazyanimals
    This is the account I normally use...I lost the password info but I just figured it out....I'm imprezachic991.
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  • lemen99lemen99 member
    Hugs!  We waited until Andrew was 1 1/2 and our feelings of being terrified were eased when we had a very honest discussion with the MFM - we felt very comfortable going into TTC#2 and confident of going close to term, otherwise, we wouldn't have wanted to risk it again. 
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  • Karenf17Karenf17
    I can certainly identify with your feelings!  Ideally I would love to have another child, but having a preemie made me realize how naive I was during my first pregnancy.  Like you, we really don't know why she was born early.  I'm scared to have another baby that has to be in the NICU, but I'm also afraid that I'll regret not having another.  Big decisions!  I second the other recs to consult with a doctor; it could ease your worries. 
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  • gobluegoblue
    imageImprezachic991:

    No one knows EXACTLY why it happened. I have a theory though.  The only US that I received other than at 9 weeks was at the 20 week mark to check on the baby and to get the sex.  I never had another ultrasound until they measured my cervix (didn't check the baby at that one) and then after my water broke.  At the appointment after my water broke they discovered that I had more amniotic fluid than a woman has when her water hasn't broken.  So it's a possibility that I had too much amniotic fluid but didn't know because I didn't have an ultrasound after 20 weeks.  With that being said, it's called polyhydramnios. Apparently it happens 1/100 pregnancies and usually resolves on its own if it isn't a fetal issue.  It can occur of the babies blood is in compatible with mine....which could have been whyit happened.  I'm 0- and the baby is A+.  So, it could happen again (my husband is +).  I did receive the RH shots though so I'm not sure how that will affect the second time around.

     

    I just don't know what to do.... 

    This is an incredible difficult decision and one that my DH and I struggled with for a long time.  We are now almost 24 weeks with baby 2 and are very optimistic for a full term baby (as are my OBs).  I think it's something you have to be ready for, and only you and your DH will know when that time is.  I second/third the advice to meet with an MFM and talk about your odds of having another preemie and what they might do differently the next time with your OB care.

    As to polyhydramnios, were you measuring ahead during your pregnancy? It sounds like you pPROM'd?  I only had an additional u/s after I was measuring close to 30 weeks at 24 weeks.  A few days later they confirmed severe polyhydramnios with an ultrasound.  A few days after that I pPROMd and two weeks after that my son was born.  I had "idiosyncratic" polyhydramnios - essentially no known cause.  About 40% of polyhydramnios cases are that way.  With the other 60%, there is a medical problem with the mother (gestational diabetes being a big cause) or a medical problem with the baby, such as esphogeal atresion.

    Best wishes with whatever you decide.

     

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