Don't make me go back to work :(

Hippixie4 · July 2011

I completely broke down and sobbed tonight while talking to DH about taking DD to daycare when I go back to work. I'm a teacher so I will be going back at the end of August. I just can't handle the idea of not being with her every day. She's been going to bed at 8:30 every night now which has me realizing that during the week, I may only get 4 or 5 hours with my munchkin before bedtime. We can't afford for me to stay home with her and I feel absolutely sick about going back. I worry that she won't get enough attention or she'll spend too much time bouncer, swing, or laying on a playmat. I feel like no one can care for her like I can and I have a pit in my stomach over this.

I know so many of you have already gone back to work and that I am blessed to be getting almost 4 1/2 months with her before I have to go back as well. No matter how long I'm home with her, it just won't be enough. I am already a mess and I still have over a month before it happens. How did you adjust and deal with the change and more importantly, how did your LO adjust?

Twirple · July 2011

I had to start back at work after 8 weeks and though I miss spending time with DS during the day, I really like my job. The transition for Chase was smoother than I expected. We started giving him bottle regularly at six weeks to get him used to them. My SIL is taking care of him, so I wasn't concerned with his daycare situation. I get to see him and feed him at lunch, and I work from home on Wednesday afternoons (signature pic is me working from home).

I would just make your time with LO as high quality as you can. We play with Chase more in the evenings, and I appreciate our time feeding more. We go for walks together. Weekends are wonderful.

MrsMackenzie2010 · July 2011

I do not have any suggestions, but wanted to let you know that I feel the same exact way. I pretty much have a breakdown every. single. time. I think about going back to work. I go back in 2 weeks.... We are putting him in a center, and it kills me becuase I know what they are like, I work in one. So yeah... I'm hoping there will be more responses to this, and ideas on how to cope, because I only have one week left of no daycare, then next week he will go for 2 half days to help me cope with the transition. I wish us, and everyone else luck, and be thankful of the extra time you get to spend with your LO.

Gina418 · July 2011

I go back to work on Wed. I'm dreading it too! But I've found the anticipation to be the worst part. Once you get into the swing of things and once you get used to your new routine, you'll feel better about things. It is hard, but you're doing the best thing for your child - you're providing for a better life!

Hippixie4 · July 2011

Gina418:
I go back to work on Wed. I'm dreading it too! But I've found the anticipation to be the worst part. Once you get into the swing of things and once you get used to your new routine, you'll feel better about things. It is hard, but you're doing the best thing for your child - you're providing for a better life!

I hope that I will feel better soon after. I know I will just have to bite the bullet and do it.

kje120 · July 2011

I will say that I cried a LOT the day before I started back. That whole Sunday I was a mess just thinking about leaving him. I did fine that Monday and made it out the door and through the whole day with no tears. I was so busy getting caught up that day that it seemed to fly by.

Tuesday was harder for me since I didn't have the anticipation of the first day back to get me through. But the week seemed to go fast and it made me really appreciate the time I got with him in the morning and after work and it made the weekends wonderful.

Currently my MIL is here taking care of him since the daycare didn't have a spot for him until August 1st, so that has helped me as well. I know she loves him to pieces and takes great care of him. Once he starts in daycare (a small in-home one with 6 kids and 2 providers) I might have another breakdown. But I know he will be fine and it's good for both of us. He gets to be around other babies and kids and I get to be around other adults. Plus I think it makes me a better mommy to him in the evenings because I appreciate that time so much more.

ITGurl0626 · July 2011

I thought I would need a valium when I went back to work last week. But I did way better than I thought. I dropped the baby off & made it to work without becomeing a blubbering mess. I did get some butterflies in my stomach but I was so busy trying to get caught up that I didn't have much time to think about how my baby was doing. I picked her up & she was just fine.

It will get easier....I hate taking her to day care but in order for her to have a nice life, it is a must. We can't afford to live on DH's income alone.

KMAXON · July 2011

I'm so glad you posted this. I'm in exactly the same situation. I got 4 1/2 months home with DD and go back the beginning of Sept. I have been in tears every day for at least a week and I still have a month and a half. If there were any way for us to afford me staying at home I would, but my DH can't top teacher health insurance, I think the first few weeks will be really, really hard. However, once I see that DD is doing fine in daycare and it becomes routine I will get used to it. I just plan to cherish every single minute in the morning, evenings and on weekends I do get to spend with her.

What doesn't help is all the people who keep saying "How are you ever going to leave this sweet little girl and go back to work?" Instant tears every time. Thanks.

JenWen3 · July 2011

MrsMackenzie2010:
I do not have any suggestions, but wanted to let you know that I feel the same exact way. I pretty much have a breakdown every. single. time. I think about going back to work. I go back in 2 weeks.... We are putting him in a center, and it kills me becuase I know what they are like, I work in one. So yeah... I'm hoping there will be more responses to this, and ideas on how to cope, because I only have one week left of no daycare, then next week he will go for 2 half days to help me cope with the transition. I wish us, and everyone else luck, and be thankful of the extra time you get to spend with your LO.

What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying the center you work for is a bad place for kids? If so, why do you continue to work there? Why don't you make it better? And why would you consider a similar place for your own child?

I don't mean to sound so accusatory, I genuinely am curious, especially as a parent of a child currently at a daycare center.

JenWen3 · July 2011

I found the first couple weeks back to be not so bad. It was fun going back to work for awhile.

I'm having a harder time with it now.

CurlGurl1 · July 2011

I went on my first overnight business trip when LO was 10 weeks. I cried the entire way to the airport, through security and getting onto the plane. Once we took off though, I started feeling a little bit better knowing that I was being productive and contributing to our family's financial future. It also felt good to be satisfied professionally when the trip went well. Eventhough my mom and DH were taking care of her, I worried about every little thing-- would they know what volume to put the sleep sheep on, would they remember to put aquaphor on her at night, would they sing the songs that she likes, etc., etc., etc.-- but they all managed just fine. It is NEVER easy to leave LO, even for a few hours, but I think it's healthy for all of us. That being said, if we could afford for me to be a SAHM I would do it in a heartbeat....

Hippixie4 · July 2011

KMAXON:

I'm so glad you posted this. I'm in exactly the same situation. I got 4 1/2 months home with DD and go back the beginning of Sept. I have been in tears every day for at least a week and I still have a month and a half. If there were any way for us to afford me staying at home I would, but my DH can't top teacher health insurance, I think the first few weeks will be really, really hard. However, once I see that DD is doing fine in daycare and it becomes routine I will get used to it. I just plan to cherish every single minute in the morning, evenings and on weekends I do get to spend with her.

What doesn't help is all the people who keep saying "How are you ever going to leave this sweet little girl and go back to work?" Instant tears every time. Thanks.

This is our situation exactly!

MrsMackenzie2010 · July 2011

JenWen3:
MrsMackenzie2010:
I do not have any suggestions, but wanted to let you know that I feel the same exact way. I pretty much have a breakdown every. single. time. I think about going back to work. I go back in 2 weeks.... We are putting him in a center, and it kills me becuase I know what they are like, I work in one. So yeah... I'm hoping there will be more responses to this, and ideas on how to cope, because I only have one week left of no daycare, then next week he will go for 2 half days to help me cope with the transition. I wish us, and everyone else luck, and be thankful of the extra time you get to spend with your LO.
What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying the center you work for is a bad place for kids? If so, why do you continue to work there? Why don't you make it better? And why would you consider a similar place for your own child?
I don't mean to sound so accusatory, I genuinely am curious, especially as a parent of a child currently at a daycare center.

The center I work at is not a BAD place by any means. In fact, I learned actually how different it is from other centers when I started looking around. The fact of the matter is though, that there will always be behavioral children who get more attention from the teachers than the 'quiet' kids. I love my job, I wouldn't be doing what I was doing if I didn't, but the ratios make it difficult at some times.

I will say I have never worked in or seen an infant room as we do not have this at our center, so looking at them was a little difficult. Not that I think that the center I chose will just leave LO in a swing all day, but I can't imagine how the ratio could be 1:4.... really? What if my LO is screaming and you're too busy feeding another child? Does he sit there and scream, or do you go get him? But then the child you're feeding gets left alone... I don't know. Things like this cross my mind all the time, and it breaks my heart. I would love to stay home, but it's just not in the cards right now. I can't imagine personally having 4 infants to take care of, so this doesn't help.

If you have any other questions feel free to ask. I did not mean to imply that the place I work at is no good, although that's what it sounded like.

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