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April 2011 Moms
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No sex yet...

jesslee123jesslee123
in April 2011 Moms

Hi there...

I am wondering if any of you had a really hard time getting back in the mood after baby was born? My DS is almost 3.5 months old and DH and I haven't yet been intimate...

I remember after DS#1, it was really painful... so that time around... (sorry if this is too much info), I would help 'stretch' things out by using a toy first before DH and I got physical. It seemed to help. But this time, I can barely get the toy in before it feels like a knife is sliding up in there. So, that is causing some anxiousness on getting physical. DH has been patient but is starting to take it personally that I don't want to get busy with him. But the other part of it is that I'm just not that attracted to him anymore... I'm wondering if it is part hormones that are causing me to feel this way....

Anyone else out there feeling something like this? Or am I just an odd ball?

Jess?

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Re: No sex yet...

  • handsonthewheelhandsonthewheel member
    You're definitely not alone! We can't try yet because I have been slow to heal but it's just as well because I have had no desire to at all--it's definitely the last thing on my mind. I am so in love with my husband but since the baby arrived, I find that I am much less affectionate and don't even want to kiss or hug as much as we did before. I hope I will snap out of it soon! 
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  • -WillsGirl--WillsGirl-

    You are not alone. I felt the same way for the first weeks and like you it was so painfull to even try. But finally with lots of lube and lots of foreplay I finally got in the mood and we were able to complete the deed just last week:) Good luck!

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  • janjagjanjag member

    You don't mention if you're BFing.  Last time was really painful at first, and while it did get a little better with practice ;) it didn't get significantly easier until I weaned completely.  Must be hormones! 

    Lube, and lots of it, helps some for intercourse. 

    I'm BFing.  To answer your question, no we haven't!  Just fooled around a couple times.  It's a big adjustment mentally and physically. 

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  • jesslee123jesslee123
    imagejanjag:

    You don't mention if you're BFing.  Last time was really painful at first, and while it did get a little better with practice ;) it didn't get significantly easier until I weaned completely.  Must be hormones! 

    Lube, and lots of it, helps some for intercourse. 

    I'm BFing.  To answer your question, no we haven't!  Just fooled around a couple times.  It's a big adjustment mentally and physically. 

     

    I am EBF... I also EBF for DS#1.... 

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  • klovesyklovesy member
    I thought I was the only one!!  I have had issues in the past with vulvodynia and painful sex and it's back now in full force.  Add to that the fact that I was on "pelvic rest" for the majority of my pregnancy.  Needless to say, it has been a LONG TIME!  And since it's been so long, I'm all freaked out about it and start to panic at the thought of being intimate.  Ugh.  We're at the point of seeking counseling to help me work through this.  DH  has been so kind and patient and understanding, but it's so embarrasing to not even want to make out with my husband. I wish I could just buck it up and "do it".
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  • PartiallySunnyPartiallySunny
    I think if you figure out why you are no longer attracted to your H your might figure out why sex is so painful for you this time around. Did you feel this way about YH after your first child was born?
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  • j1e2n3n4ij1e2n3n4i

    right there with you. 

    We've DTD four times now, each time it has hurt less, but it hasn't made me want to do it more...

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  • massdreamsmassdreams member
    We haven't yet. My delivery this time around went much better, but with my first DS, I tore pretty bad and it took a while to heal, and sex didn't feel great for a while. That's not the case this time around, but I've been on the fence with what I want to do for birth control, and DH hates condoms, so we haven't done it because we really do not want to risk an accidental 3rd kid! I am calling the doctor about getting an IUD though so perhaps soon something will happen :)
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