No baby shower for me

kwinkle1980 · July 2011

I realized today that even if I wanted to have a baby shower, which I really don't, it can't happen because I only have like 2 girlfriends that live in state. I have many male friends. This is what happens to tomboys when they grow up, I guess!

CamJack mom · July 2011

so you don't have any family? Many women have out of state showers and they go home for the shower to be with their family.

kwinkle1980 · July 2011

I have a very small family. I have no sisters, just a brother. I don't have any cousins. I used to have a huge family, but they were all VERY old when I was born so they've all passed on. My tiny family all lives within 10 miles of me, but it would NOT make a rockin' baby shower! Oh well, I don't really need one! But man, I need to make some more girlfriends!

InTheSun · July 2011

Why can't you do a jack 'n jill shower? My cousin did a full-family baby shower and it was wonderful. The couple even threw it for themselves at their house! It was just like a regular party but everyone brought baby gifts. They didn't open them while guests were still there though. It was all about having a good time together and celebrating.

iluvmylab · July 2011

InTheSun:
Why can't you do a jack 'n jill shower? My cousin did a full-family baby shower and it was wonderful. The couple even threw it for themselves at their house! It was just like a regular party but everyone brought baby gifts. They didn't open them while guests were still there though. It was all about having a good time together and celebrating.

It's really bad etiquette to give yourself a shower because you are gift grabbing. You can have a party, but calling it a shower or including registry info on an invite makes it sound like you expect gifts.

tracij12 · July 2011

iluvmylab:
InTheSun:
Why can't you do a jack 'n jill shower? My cousin did a full-family baby shower and it was wonderful. The couple even threw it for themselves at their house! It was just like a regular party but everyone brought baby gifts. They didn't open them while guests were still there though. It was all about having a good time together and celebrating.

It's really bad etiquette to give yourself a shower because you are gift grabbing. You can have a party, but calling it a shower or including registry info on an invite makes it sound like you expect gifts.

Totally disagree. If you have no on else to throw the shower (or you don't want to put the burden on someone else), why not give yourself one? IMO gifts are NEVER a requirement. The point is to get together and celebrate the LO on the way...if people feel inclined to bring gifts, then all the better.

We will likely have a co-ed shower, not because we have more male friends, but because I want my DH to be involved.

Whatever you decide, just have fun and don't stress about it!

CamJack mom · July 2011

tracij12:
iluvmylab:
InTheSun:
Why can't you do a jack 'n jill shower? My cousin did a full-family baby shower and it was wonderful. The couple even threw it for themselves at their house! It was just like a regular party but everyone brought baby gifts. They didn't open them while guests were still there though. It was all about having a good time together and celebrating.

It's really bad etiquette to give yourself a shower because you are gift grabbing. You can have a party, but calling it a shower or including registry info on an invite makes it sound like you expect gifts.
Totally disagree. If you have no on else to throw the shower (or you don't want to put the burden on someone else), why not give yourself one? IMO gifts are NEVER a requirement. The point is to get together and celebrate the LO on the way...if people feel inclined to bring gifts, then all the better.
We will likely have a co-ed shower, not because we have more male friends, but because I want my DH to be involved.
Whatever you decide, just have fun and don't stress about it!

I have to agree with lab. If you want to have a party in the baby's honor go for it, people will likely bring gifts anyway. However I would not throw my own "baby shower" and put registry info in the invitation. Just to be honest, I am not a traditional person at all. As I stated in the post above, I will be having probably 3 showers for this baby and this is number 3 for me. However, I would find it very gift grabby if I received a "baby shower" invitation from a person hosting their own shower. JMHO

JoAnna914 · July 2011

This happened to me with a jack and jill wedding shower we were recently invited to - groom and bride threw it themselves with a full registry. I found it to be obnoxious, honestly (especially since we're spending close to $1000 total for my husband to be a groomsman - yes, we're dealing with a groomzilla here).

If it makes you feel any better, I won't be having a shower either because my few girlfriends are totally broke, and I would never ask that of them.

UAbride31007 · July 2011

tracij12:

Totally disagree. If you have no on else to throw the shower (or you don't want to put the burden on someone else), why not give yourself one? IMO gifts are NEVER a requirement. The point is to get together and celebrate the LO on the way...if people feel inclined to bring gifts, then all the better.

If the party is called a shower or registry information is included in the invitation then gifts are basically expected. You can certainly throw a party to celebrate the baby and people will probably bring gifts but the purpose of a shower is to "shower" mom and baby with gifts.

InTheSun · July 2011

tracij12:
iluvmylab:
InTheSun:
Why can't you do a jack 'n jill shower? My cousin did a full-family baby shower and it was wonderful. The couple even threw it for themselves at their house! It was just like a regular party but everyone brought baby gifts. They didn't open them while guests were still there though. It was all about having a good time together and celebrating.
It's really bad etiquette to give yourself a shower because you are gift grabbing. You can have a party, but calling it a shower or including registry info on an invite makes it sound like you expect gifts.
Totally disagree. If you have no on else to throw the shower (or you don't want to put the burden on someone else), why not give yourself one? IMO gifts are NEVER a requirement. The point is to get together and celebrate the LO on the way...if people feel inclined to bring gifts, then all the better.
We will likely have a co-ed shower, not because we have more male friends, but because I want my DH to be involved.
Whatever you decide, just have fun and don't stress about it!

Okay, you don't have to call it a baby shower. And you don't have to put registry info on the invitation. I'd call it a "Welcoming Baby" Party...Probably "Welcome Baby [last name here]!!" Or you could do it as a "Last party until the baby comes!" and put a byline of "We'd like to gather with our friends and family to celebrate our baby's arrival...and party one last time!" Or just invite your friends over for a BBQ without a formal invitation and when you invite them, tell them you'd like to have a party before the baby gets there. Some people will take the hint...but more importantly, you'll get to celebrate with your friends.

kwinkle1980 · July 2011

I honestly am kind of relieved I will get to skip this whole thing...I am not one to throw parties anyway, so if I did it would be an obvious gift grab.

Ricola · July 2011

I won't have a baby shower either. My family is in Germany and MH's family about 8 hours away, and that's just his parents. The rest is even further. Like you, we have mostly single guys as friends, so I don't expect anything really and am totally okay with it.

Kelly1109 · July 2011

DD came early (at 33 weeks) and I didn't have a shower planned as my closest girlfriends are FAR away in different states (Florida & Ohio) plus my family is in Ohio. My SIL was going to throw something after the baby but didn't as I wanted to invite my husband and our family friends who are guys - she thought that was bad ettiquete. So in the end we hosted a Welcome Home Lily party 6 weeks after she was born. We didn't mention on the invites our registry or gifts - just said Food, Drinks & Fun. Some people brought gifts (mostly clothes and not off our registry) and some didn't. In the end it was ok. My husband and I do very well for ourselves so honestly we didn't need the extra gifts and by that time had already all of our major purchases anyway).

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