what is the best age (if ever) to sleep train

JAnalynn3767 · July 2011

I have heard the 4 month mark tossed around a lot especially with Ferber, but LO is 4.5 months old now and seems to little to me.

Although he is sleeping like crap recently and I would love to get him to STTN. I can?t imagine not soothing him at this age.

What do you ladies think?

(I should add that I am not really looking for scientific facts, but more opinions of when you felt comfortable with the process, if ever.)

LouiseB2001 · July 2011

I personally didn't feel comfortable doing anything that resembled sleep training before 8-9 months. Until then I nursed DD to sleep on most occasions and when she woke up at night. At 9 months we started 'light Ferber' and after one month and two months of travel she started STTN by herself. I still don't like the word sleep training but helping DD sleep better was good for all of us. But all babies are different so I find it difficult to advise exactly what others should do, it really depends on the baby (and family).

bancbev · July 2011

I was dead set against Ferber, or any other form of sleep training. But when my LO was almost 9 months old somehting had to change. She was full time bed sharring with us, and I hated it. She also would only stay asleep if my nipple was in her mouth. She was waking up every 1.5-2 hours, sometimes more. I was miserable, exhasuted, my work and marriage were suffering and most importantly I was resentful of my DD. So I bought Ferber's book, took my time really reading it, and followed his program to a T.

Changed my life. After the first night, I knew I should have done it sooner. If we have another LO, who sleeps as bad as my DD, I would be comfortable doing Ferber at 6 months, but I don't think before that.

Dreamsicle23 · July 2011

I know most will feel differently, but I think it's most effective around 4-6 months. I really thing at that age you can also start to tell if they're learning self soothing skills and sleep is gradually improving on it's own, or if they're just becoming more and more dependent on sleep crutches. I think once they get older, they are more set in their ways, habits are harder to break, they can throw a way bigger fit - overall it's just more traumatic for everyone.

Bride2b2004 · July 2011

It's tough to answer this, because I believe it is child based. Generally, I think a strong routine at around 6 months is necessary. With my first son, I started writing down his meals, naps, play, reactions and based a schedule off of his natural schedule. I pushed hard on getting his naps in (within about an hour time frame) and always made sure I was home for them. The night sleep just worked itself out when the rest of his routine was set. I love it when he woke up happy and playing and I knew we had just the right schedule for him. With my second, we have battled ear infections so it has been tough knowing what is preventing sleep (stubbornness, wanting to play, pain?) so I didn't sleep train or firm up a schedule for him at 6 months, like I would have liked. He was a year old before he started sleeping well at night (he sleeps from 7-5:30) and he still will not take a nap for more than 20-30 min if he will take one at all. I wish I could have gotten him in a routine at 6 months, but right now he knows what he wants (play) and he WILL NOT take good naps for me no matter how tired he is or how much he needs it. That's our experience so far, I am sure this next one will be completely different.

WyoGal · July 2011

M teethed early (3 mos.) and either had ear infections or was teething or we were traveling until over a year so I wasn't comfortable "doing something" until then. Around 14-15 mos. M stopped nursing to sleep which was okay, but then he had a standing in the crib problem which took a bit of crying with me leaving the room in short spurts and/or a sleep lady type shuffle to help him through.

At almost 2 I feel M has strong enough language skills that (barring any extraneous schedule changes etc.) bedtime refusals are tantrums and not sleep issues and I generally react to them as such.

SnoopyLuv · July 2011

At least 6 months, but I'm glad we waited until just now. The problem with an older child from what I've heard is that the progressive waiting doesn't work as well because they have more of a grasp on the fact that you're going to leave again. I ended up having to do extinction CIO but now I have a much happier, better rested child. If we have another and I feel they are ready around 6 months I will do it then, I cannot believe I let this crap go on for so long. I was a masochist all because I couldn't deal with a little crying. Believe me, she and I are both much happier and I now enjoy and look forward to bedtime.

Mrs. TLC · July 2011

we haven't started yet, DS still goes to bed way too late (like 10pm) and wakes multiple times at night. we bedshare and right now (because he's teething again) he really want my boob in his mouth.... although it seems to be getting better. We still don't have a routine for naps and he tends to fall asleep while we are on the go.

i am working a couple days this week, but next week i want to start factoring in a more solid routine both for the melody of our days and also for naps

i personally am opposed to CIO, but there's a difference between fussing and crying. I have put DS down drowsy (after nursing) and let him fall asleep on his own, a few times its worked. I'll let him fuss but i do go to him as soon as he starts to cry - i don't necessarily pick him up but i pat/shoosh/ soothe him back to sleep.

so i guess we are starting some version of sleep training soon (like at 8mo) in the sense that we are getting a more established routine for naps and sleep, but we are not going to Ferberize or any form of CIO

erbear · July 2011

We did it with dd1 at 6 months. That was a good age...she learned quickly and could soothe herself easily. I think it's probably harder for kid and parents the older they are (once dd could yell "mommy!" I'd never be able to handle it) but I think 4 months is too young.

WildcatPrincess · July 2011

After learning about wonder weeks and knowing all the physical milestones she'd be working on DH and I decided to give her the first year and see what happened. I didn't like the idea of having to retrain after an interruption. As it turned out she had a TON of sleep interruptions - I don't think I got more than 2-3 hours in a row between months 5 and 10. But after the 9 month wakeful she dropped to one night feed and 2 days before her birthday started STTN so we never had to do anything. We still nurse to sleep now, so eventually I do plan on some gentle training to break that association, but for now it still works for us.

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