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Two Under 2
luvmybaby28
member
what made you decide to have 2 u 2?
luvmybaby28
member
in Two Under 2
I am contemplating ttc soon, but I am so overwhelmed about having them so close in age! I think I will be more ready to space them 3 years apart, but I want them to be close and think that having them close in age will be best in the long run. I am only having 2 total, so I was wondering if you all plan to have more than 2 and if that played a part in your spacing. I have no siblings so I have no idea if 3 years is too huge of an age gap.
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Re: what made you decide to have 2 u 2?
For me its health related. I have moderate endometriosis and have been in pain off/on for 15 years. So I'm having my boys and getting a hysterectomy. With DS1 it took 15m to conceive. DS2 one month.
I have a sister and we are two and a half years apart. My boys will be 16. Each and every day I find more reasons why I'm excited to have 2u2.
It would be easier if DS were a little older, but I look forward to having them grow up so close in age. They'll be natural playmates.
DH and I always said that we wanted 2-3 kids and decided that we'd want them 18-24 months apart. It's just worked out to be closer to the 18 month side of that span.
I also want to be done having my family and finally get to raising my family. DD and DS get along so well that I look forward to bringing #3 into the mix.
DH's and my age. Didn't want to wait too long before having our second. I didn't want to be 40+ and pregnant.
Praying for Baby Camryn
Praying for Baby Scarlett
Remembering Baby Adam
I had two reasons. #1) I am the second child of 3u3 and it was a very fun experience growing up with my sisters so close in age. We always had someone to play with, and now we are all besties. DH, on the other hand, has three brother but there is at least 5 years between each kid and they are not very close. My hope for my kids is to be close and stick together.
#2) I had trouble getting pg for the longest time, and actually conceived #1 by surprise, right after I had surgery for PCOS and endometriosis. I felt that I wanted to TTC soon after #1 in case I had trouble, so that if I had to pursue treatments the kids would hopefully still be not more than 2-3 years apart. It has been said that sometimes pregnancy "fixes" PCOS. I don't know that I consider that to be true, but getting pg so quickly didn't give my body much chance to get out of whack. I had two normal periods, and planned to TTC the month after I actually conceived. Turns out my body was already getting screwy, because I ovulated much alter than I should have, based off the normal periods. And thus came #2.
FWIW I love the 14 month age gap. There were really no jealousy issues to deal with when #2 came home. #1 still didn't walk when #2 was born, and I feel that was in my favor because she was much easier to keep happily contained, as opposed to now that's she's into every.single.thing. Also now that #2 is more interactive, it's so rewarding to watch my two girls together. I'm so glad I have 2u2.
Many reasons.
It made more financial sense. I dont work full time while my kids are small, and I wanted to be home with my kids until they were in school full time. If I did huge gaps, it would have been either more time out of the workforce or paying for dayare. We may have one more. and while I am not brave to do 3u3, we will conceive so the third baby would arrive shortly after DDs 2nd birthday. I'd like no greater than a 3 1/2 year gap from the oldest/youngest. I think that would be nice because all 3 would be able to interact, but I would have gotten a break from 2 very closely spaced pregnancies. Plus, the oldest would be a little more independent, so it wouldnt be 3 young babies at all once.
I am not a fan of pregnancy/the infant stages. I would rather get it out of the way quickly instead of getting spoiled with older, more independent children and starting all over again.
I liked that it was easier in ways to adjust. Addiing an extra infant wasnt that hard because I was still in that mentality. I liked that my DS was too young to be jealous and it was easy for him to transition to life with a sibling.
Long term, I think it's easier. The kids have a built in playmate, they're at the same level mentally to be able to play games/go on family vacations easier. I cant imagine having an 8 year old on roller coasters, a 4 year old on kiddie rides, and an infant who cant do anything. Not appealing to me at all.
I dont think a 3 year gap is bad. I think when you start pushing further past it, the kids will always be on different levels. Its not that they wont be able to get along or be able to play together, I just think it's easier for them to enjoy similar toys/activities together when they're less than 4 years apart.
GL with whatever you decide!
I grew up with a huge age gap between me and my siblings and I hated it, (sis is 9 years older, brother is 7 years older). They are always in a different stage of life still to this day.
Like others, I want to be able to do things as a family and having them close in age makes sense. We will probably have at least one, possibly two more kids, so we didn't want to space them out too much, (I'm 28 and DH is 30). I don't want to be 40 and having babies, (nothing wrong with that, just personally I want my babies before I'm 36).
The bolded was the #1 reason for me & all of the points int he quoted post are similar to me. In NYC daycare is extremely expensive and while I'm not working it would be best to get #2 over w/. Also, I wanted them to be close to each other because as an only child I always wished I had a sibling. Additionally, I don't like the baby stage and want to get it over with. I'm 31 & wanted to get all my baby having done before 35. And it took me a long time to get pregnant w/ #1 so I didn't expect to get pregnant so soon w/ this one. I was aiming more for a 2 year spacing but wound up w/ 15 month spacing.
We struggled with infertility TTC #1.
The fertility doc told us to wean early and hurry back for treatments but not to get our hopes up and to mentally prepare to only have the 1 child and consider ourselves lucky that we even got him.
We were THRILLED to conceive #2 without treatments.
WIthout IF I would have chosen to space them a bit farther apart but now that we're living this life I can't imagine it any other way.
GL with your decisions!
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Before kids, I thought 3-4 years was a good gap...then I had DS. When he turned 3 months things calmed down from his newborn fussiness and I started to talk to DH about me staying home and having more kids quicker so I could go back to work/school when the kids are in school. We were aiming to start TTC at 12 months but since I was still bfing and my cycles were wacky at 9 months, we decided to see what happens...surely I wouldnt get pg right away, especially with a husband who works offshore for 3 wks at a time...WELL he came home, we said "what they hell" and I tested before he left again and BFP. I was shocked but happy. They are 18 m apart and I love it. I agree with PPs, financially it makes sense since I SAH, and also for that fact that the kids are able to enjoy a lot of the same toys, and some day vacations etc. I dont want to be an older mom, I am 28 with 2 kids and plan on at least 1 more. If we have 2 more I would like to be done by 32 and Dh would be 35. We plan on TTC in sept.
I am the baby of 3 girls. My oldest sister is 7 yrs older, and my middle sister is 4 yrs older...we dont get along as well as I would like. I know having kids close in age doesnt guarantee them to have a great bond, but I hope it will give them a chance. My kids are already very close. My sister has 3 kids the first 2 have a 3y3m gap and the second 2 have a 2y3m gap...her second two play well together, the first two do not.
Another big reason is that adjustiment for the older LO is easier when they are closer together. My pedi told us that kids gapped 12m-2.5 yrs apart and over 4 yrs apart are easier to adjust. The 2.5-4 year gap is the hardest in his opinion. When they are little they dont remember being without a playmate. Older than 4 they are able to understand more and help out to feel included. Having them closer together is harder for the parents though, but so worth it.
GL!
I'm the oldest by blood and am 8 1/2 years older than little bro 1 and 10 1/2 years older than little bro 2.
I always felt like a second mother to them (this had a lot to do with my mom's parenting style), but I was always helping make bottles and putting them to bed, taking them to the park and such. I'm extremely close with my youngest brother (he has special needs) but it wasn't always like that.
They are 2 years apart and have always gotten along pretty well. Besides being boys and fighting like the norm, they're always there for eachother and seeing them grow-up made me realize I wanted my kids close. (although this one was a big surprise lol)
I'm an only child too and always knew that I definitely did not want to have an only child.
My "plan" had always been to have 2 close in age, wait a good 4-5 years and then have 2 more close in age. I wanted to have the first two so close in age partly because I felt like the older's life would be less disrupted by the second child the younger she was. I also just really liked the idea of them being really close in age, I'd feel less like I was "starting over" with the new baby since the older child is still pretty close to a baby.
My "plan" didn't really work out as planned, as we had some fertility issues and it took two years to get pg. (and I got married later than what I had "planned" to). After DD was born, we started talking about TTC conceive #2 immediately. (in case it took just as long) We ended up trying for 6 months before BFP. I am elated to have 2u2 and glad things worked out the way they did. Because of our age, we may even go for 3u3.
This pretty much exactly.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
Not at all. In fact, my sister and I are 6 years apart and we are very close.
My baby sister and I are 8 years apart and are best friends.
In fact I am chatting with her right now, even though I am in NJ and she is in Japan!
But I wanted two close together because I wanted my son to have a buddy, and since we always wanted two, it just made sense. I hope they will eventually be in the same group of friends in high school and stuff like that, and just be able to be there for one another when I am not.
And even though I am new at 2u2, with an 8 week old and my 18.5 month old, I have to say this is not as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I'd be ridiculously tired, and on the verge of craziness. It's a lot easier than I thought. I just have to keep the toddler active, and the newborn fed.