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October 2011 Moms
wilsontl19191
member
Anyone else been told "you should have waited"?
wilsontl19191
member
I am 33 and my DH is 31. We own our home, have established careers and are financially stable. We were married in September and pregnant by January. My MIL felt if necessary to tell MY mother that we should have waited. Ok, um, wait for what exactly?
During this same conversation my mother tells her how excited she is to babysit for us when I go back to work and her response "better you than me". Ugh!!! She irrates my liver.
Anyone else been told "you should have waited"?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else been told "you should have waited"?
Sorry, but that was really rude of her!
I was told a couple weeks ago, "well you didn't waste any time did you?" Uhh what? I wasn't aware there was a required waiting period after you got married before you could have a baby. We've been married over a year.
Make a pregnancy ticker
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
Definitely mot a nice thing to say! The only thing that I can think of, if this is her first grandchild, its a big milestone and kind of ages you. So maybe she's not prepared to think of herself as a grandma just yet.
Hopefully she'll be more excited once the baby is here.
This. I can totally understand if you aren't financially ready or mature enough. However, if that's not the case, I don't get it. Did you recently get married? Maybe MIL thought you should spend some time just the two of you, first?? I don't know. Maybe she is just a b!tch. There was a post awhile ago where someone said their MIL told their DH that they were upset the baby would be getting all of DH's attention instead of her (the MIL).
Yeah you are young, but the old asses that are telling you that probably had kids at the same age or earlier. I hope you're ready for the changes ahead, pfff. What an assholish thing to say.
OP, your MIL deserves a throat punch.
I think a PP is right. She is having a hard time coming to terms with being a grandma (she is almost 60!), probably because they have a 20 year old still in college.
That being said, you are all correct. SHE IS A QUACK!!! I knew that going in, but it has only gotten worse since we got married and told her we were pregnant. She never talks about the baby, always make ignorant comments to me "wow, you are REALLY big", and shows no interest in our LO. Kinda sad if you ask me. My poor DH.
I love you.
Bahahahahah! I'm totally going to use this if someone says that to me! And so far they haven't, thankfully! I'm 33 and DH is about to be 40 and we've been together for almost 9 years, although we just got married in December (we planned to try as soon as the license was signed!) Most people for us said "it's about time!"
I'm sorry your MIL is such a tool. Sounds like you guys are in the perfect spot in life for this step...I would tend to agree that she probalby just isn't ready to commit to the "grandma" label yet, as well.
Your siggy is making me drool!!! Founder's Favorite is MY favorite and the only thing I ever get when I go to Cold Stone. But I do get almonds instead of pecans. Sounds like I'll be making a pit stop on my way home after work.
BFP #1 3/13/13, MMC 4/17/13, D&C 4/19/13
BFP #2 8/7/13, Beta at 4w6d = 3,796
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
if someone said that to me, I would say "well, how long should I have waited? I know that lady in Europe had a baby at 60, but...."
I dont get this comment for you in your situation at all. If you were 18yrs old and just graduated high school last week, then I might get it. Or even if you were still in school with no income, not relaly their business, but more understandable.
But once you get to 30ish, its time.
My Mom was torn about whether to tell me and she told me weeks after it happened while I was venting my frustrations to her about my MIL's "comments" to me regarding this LO. (I could go on and on) And it should be known - there is NO relationship with my MIL - at all. We recently went away to Wisconsin for her family reunion and she said about 5 words to me. There is nothing there.
I'm 39 and have been married almost 3 years in a few weeks. Before I got pregnant, I had people asking me all the time, "When are you going to get pregnant?" and telling me, "You are getting older!"
I am going to be an old mom and my baby will have a half brother 18.5 years older, but I had to do this on my time and no one else's time.
This is basically us. DH and I were both married previously, both tried to have a family with our ex's and it didn't work. Having a family was very high on our priority list and we didn't feel the need to wait. We got KU on our wedding night and heard this frequently. DS will turn two 6-8 weeks after the twins are born....you can imagine the comments that come along with not 1 but 2 more babies before the first is 2 years old. Bottom line - it's our life, and no one gets a say in anything we do
This is my MIL too.
That's weird given how established you seem. No one has said that to us, but I think that's because we've been married 5.5 years and are 30 and almost 32, so everyone felt it was time.
Maybe the comment was directed at the fact that you haven't been married long? Everyone I have talked to thinks it's the greatest thing ever that we waited so long after getting married to have kids. I don't really think it matters, we only waited because we were married somewhat young and needed to get money saved and careers established, but the general opinion out there from what people have told me seems to be that having years of alone time is better, which could be why she is saying that to you. Or your MIL could just be awful.
We share a wedding anniversary
My mom has been asking for grandkids since I was 19 and a sophomore in college. Ridiculous, I know. My dad and in-laws never said anything. We've been together since 17 and married since 22 and since I was in school, I guess everyone just figured it would happen eventually. My grandfather seemed to put it best when we told him. He said "Good!" And we were like, Good? And he said, that's what you wanted. It was sweet. My MIL did freak out that she's too young to have grandchildren, though (She's 57.)
But seriously, if I were you I'd tell your MIL where to shove it.
I actually got told this by my dad. I think he said it because he was concerned more than anything because of how fast everything was happening. That, and I already called him "old man" but I've taken to calling him grandpa now lol!
I finished high school early so i could have a year off to work and pay my way through college, which i also finished early because I took an accelerated program. I was hired right out of school, worked for half a year, and hated it. So I got a student loan and went back. I met my husband there, we got really serious after we finished, and he proposed to me. We got married in February, and found out I was pregnant when we got back from our honeymoon. I'm 22, and he's 25. We've also bought our first house and car this year and are financially stable with good jobs.
You made me almost spit out my food that was so funny.