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3 year old hitting

longhorngallonghorngal member
in Pre-School and Daycare
 mine turned 3 in april and soon after started to hit...i notice it when he gets frustrated and doesn't get what he wants...i tried the time out...and even taking his hand and telling him we don't hit....other suggestions appreciated!! or experiences with how long it took you to stop the behavior....thanks! 
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Re: 3 year old hitting

  • BrewtowngrlBrewtowngrl member
    We send DS to his room when he gets that bad and tell him he can cry and scream all he wants in there, but hitting is never the allowed.  When he isn't that out of control we are working on controlling his outbursts with talking.  The later is talking a lot more work, but the room part works good. 
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  • jsugrinjsugrin member

    We worked really hard on giving him the words to express what he was feeling.  That it was ok to say " I'm mad, angry, frustrated, sad, hurt my feelings ect".  You have to make it appropriate to what he is feeling for it to sink in, you can't just use angry as a catch all if that makes sense.

    We still have some hitting, mostly brother to brother but I hear a lot of " Cooper I'm angry with you because you smashed my X or mama you hurt my feelings because I really wanted to watch X and you turned off the TV"

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  • MirandaHobbesMirandaHobbes member
    I think jsugrin's advice is best- but my son isn't quite "smart" (ready?) enough to comprehend explaining his feelings (he has an ASD). What works for us is completely stopping the activity. He's usually hitting because he's trying to get our attention so I just say "we don't hit- if you hit, Mama can't play with you." And then I'll walk away into another room, seemingly "ignoring" him. He hates this, so he usually follows after me whining. I ask him to use his words and he usually tells me what's bothering him "want movie" "want snack" or whatnot. That calms him down enough for me to actually respond to him or give him a choice.
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  • franciscazfranciscaz member
    We have had this problem (especially at school or at home when kids would take one of the toys he was playing with).  We talk about using our words not our hands.  If he hits he has to stop playing and go to time out automatically but if he tells us he sees we resolve the conflict.  It is helping him learn no hitting means better consequences than yesterday.
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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  • PenelopelePhewPenelopelePhew

    DS was hitting and kicking when he was angry at school.  It hit the fan when he pulled a classmate's hair and actually pulled out some of his hair.  :(

    I told him that hurting his friends wasn't a good choice.  Then I thought for a bit and announced that if it happened again at school or at home he would lose his sunglasses (treasured and brand new!) for two days.  Then if it happened again after that he'd lose the glasses and his new sandals for two days.

    I reminded him of the consequences by way of telling his teacher in front of him the first day, then reminded him when we prayed before school the second day and we haven't yet seen a recurrence.  It's been about 2 weeks.

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