Parental leave for your SO (non-clicky poll)

Ceridwen21 · July 2011

How much time off for the birth is your SO entitled to (as in actual paternity benefits, not using up vacation time)? How much time will they be taking (can include vacation time, etc)?

(Goal of this poll is not to be an AW - I know how lucky we have it and I'm just curious how others compare).

In my province SOs get 5 weeks. DH will probably take 2 weeks off initially, and then take the rest in random days off. Though he's legally entitled to the 5 weeks, it would be seriously frowned upon in his office to take them all in one shot.

peoples0509 · July 2011

DH doesn't technically get anything because he hasnt been at his current job for over a year (FMLA rules). But his boss has agreed to allow him to take 2 weeks off using his PTO once the baby arrives.

Soon2BMrsN · July 2011

DS is an attorney in a small (6 lawyer) boutique firm, so they don't have strict policies about vacation/paternity/maternity time off. He took 2 weeks of when we had DS and that's the plan again.

*edited for spelling

Junebug060609 · July 2011

He gets 10 days, including weekends, to be given at some point within the first year.

Most likely he'll take the first 10 days off, but ultimately it comes down to what others will sign off on.

MonkeySue · July 2011

We get 2 weeks paid. DH also has some saved Personal Time that he was planning to take so that he could be off the full first month with me. Since his dad can't come up until a bit after the birth, I'm actually going to encourage DH to take the initial first two weeks with me, and then time the last two weeks to coincide with when his dad will be here so that he gets to spend as much time with him as possible. My FIL was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year (responding very well to treatment) so I really want DH to not have to work while his dad is here. My mom is retired so if I need help after the first two weeks, I know she'll be happy to be here.

Mrs. Mo · July 2011

MH gets 2 weeks paternity leave but it has to be taken all at once and as soon as the baby is born or he loses it. (so, he can't take a week or a few days here & there).

jackiemf · July 2011

My husband is going to take 10 days off starting right at my due date (Vacation), so hopefully I don't go way overdue! and then 2 weeks of paternity leave when I go back to work in March.

leahraewku · July 2011

DH gets zero paternity leave. He had to schedule his vacation around the time of my due date, to get any leave at all.

He's a first year medical resident and he's given very little flexibility with his schedule.

sewpinkgal · July 2011

My husband gets 4 weeks, though most don't take them all at once. The plan is for him to be home for 1-2 weeks at the beginning and then to either take the rest of the time as a chunk next year or to spread out random days over the next few months. A lot of this will depend on his workload and whether he is in trial or prepping for trial.

christen_z1 · July 2011

peoples0509:
DH doesn't technically get anything because he hasnt been at his current job for over a year (FMLA rules). But his boss has agreed to allow him to take 2 weeks off using his PTO once the baby arrives.

Ditto. Except my DH will be taking his two weeks in half days, if that makes sense? That way he can stretch a weeks worth of PTO out and feel like he is having more time with Addi.

zebrastripes · July 2011

Well my hubby still has over 2 weeks of paid vacation left and he is saving at least a week for the birth but I had no idea that jobs even had parental leave. I am definitely going to get him to check on this.

gkmacdon · July 2011

My DH doesnt get any formal maternity leave but his nonprofit job gives him a ton of vacation, sick, personal days which replenish at the end of the year so the timing works well. Since he hasn't taken many days this year we have plenty to use him to stay home paid - theoretically he could be home for 5 weeks but I think he'll do what OP's DH is doing and start with 2 weeks and then see how we feel after that - maybe a day here or a day there or some half days depending on how LO and I are transitioning Thankfully his company is really small and it's all women and they're really excited for him and don't mind him taking off when the baby comes.

I have a friend whose husband works at Verizon... he got ridiculous paid maternity leave when her baby was born and then for the first year of the baby's life he was allowed to take every Friday off for "Daddy Bonding Time" - wow!

Ess-elle · July 2011

To the OP - what province does 5 weeks of pat leave? That's AWESOME - you are really fortunate.

My H gets a freebie week (fully paid) for "family leave" upon the birth of a child. He's entitled to 37 weeks of parental leave (if he's the primary caregiver) and his employer will pay him 97% of his salary during this time. However, because I'm staying home for a year, he can't take this time as he won't be the primary caregiver.

He'll be taking 6 weeks total when baby is born and then taking another 5 weeks leave next summer (August-September) when baby is a little older, more interactive, and we can spend the end of the summer together as a family before we both have to go back to work and baby goes into a dayhome. He's taking leave with income averaging in order to do so.

missyishere · July 2011

MonkeySue:
We get 2 weeks paid. DH also has some saved Personal Time that he was planning to take so that he could be off the full first month with me. Since his dad can't come up until a bit after the birth, I'm actually going to encourage DH to take the initial first two weeks with me, and then time the last two weeks to coincide with when his dad will be here so that he gets to spend as much time with him as possible. My FIL was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year (responding very well to treatment) so I really want DH to not have to work while his dad is here. My mom is retired so if I need help after the first two weeks, I know she'll be happy to be here.

My DH will be doing the same; using his two weeks and then at least a week of other saved PTO. Good for you for encouraging time with his dad. I will hopefully get my DH for the whole time, though. I don't have a lot of other options besides him since I lost my mother last year. He's a great help, thankfully!

Ceridwen21 · July 2011

Ess-elle:

To the OP - what province does 5 weeks of pat leave? That's AWESOME - you are really fortunate.

My H gets a freebie week (fully paid) for "family leave" upon the birth of a child. He's entitled to 37 weeks of parental leave (if he's the primary caregiver) and his employer will pay him 97% of his salary during this time. However, because I'm staying home for a year, he can't take this time as he won't be the primary caregiver.

He'll be taking 6 weeks total when baby is born and then taking another 5 weeks leave next summer (August-September) when baby is a little older, more interactive, and we can spend the end of the summer together as a family before we both have to go back to work and baby goes into a dayhome. He's taking leave with income averaging in order to do so.

It's Quebec. We really seem to have the best benefits in the country. Moms can also take an additional 17 weeks of maternity leave (on top of the standard 50 weeks), though those last 17 weeks are at zero pay. I'm probably going to take an extra 4 weeks unpaid at the end of my 50 weeks.

Ess-elle · July 2011

I figured it must be Quebec - their benefits for families are amazing.

karinothing · July 2011

DH gets 6 weeks paid paternity leave. He also gets a week of yearly family leave. Then he gets the week of Christmas/New Years off (his office is closed) so that is about 9 weeks total before he gets into his vacation/comp time.

He has about 3 months worth of comp saved up but can't use it all becuase 2012 is an election year. So, basically he will be taking Mid October through January off paid.

We are VERY lucky.

Ceridwen21 · July 2011

Ess-elle:
I figured it must be Quebec - their benefits for families are amazing.

Gotta have some reward for our crazy high taxes and even crazier politics!

gkmacdon · July 2011

im moving to canada.

wilsontl19191 · July 2011

My DH will be home for about 6 weeks covered by FMLA. He is in law enforcement so the time off will be a mix of vacation, sick and comp time. We are soooo lucky and I am beyond excited to have him home with us! Especially for Thanksgiving since he works just about EVERY holiday every year.

SheLovesMrHip · July 2011

My DH won't get crap because of the line of work he is in, so he just takes what he needs unpaid. I only want him for the first week, then I have family taking shifts.....

lisamonkee11 · July 2011

I really am starting to think I'd like to move to Canada too.

My DH doesn't get any paid time off but can take FMLA if he wants to. Instead he'll use 2 weeks of vacation when the baby is born (he doesn't have to schedule it ahead of time thankfully) and then another week between Christmas & New Years so we can possibly go visit his mom in FL.

ludicrous · July 2011

In theory he can take 12 paid weeks. In reality he will be lucky to try and take a week off and only end up working three of the five days he tried to take off.

rkto · July 2011

dont move anywhere in Canada, you got to go to Quebec.

dont be jealous of my $1600 a month maternity pay. not topped up from my employer. but at least we get a year.

I am jealous of Quebecers because I think they have subsidized daycare too. I think it is something like $7 per day.

Ceridwen21 · July 2011

rkto:

dont move anywhere in Canada, you got to go to Quebec.

dont be jealous of my $1600 a month maternity pay. not topped up from my employer. but at least we get a year.

I am jealous of Quebecers because I think they have subsidized daycare too. I think it is something like $7 per day.

Yes we do, but getting in to one of those programs is really hard. Usually a 3 year wait list. We do however get reimbursed come tax time if we go to a daycare that charges more than $7/day. I think it works out to about $15 per day in the end (you pay what that daycare charges - for example $40 per day, but then once your tax refund is sorted out it works out to about $15 per day). Anyways, not complaining, but the $7/day program isn't as widely available as many people think.

Mandy747 · July 2011

DH gets 8 weeks paid parental leave. He has about 10 additional weeks of PTO stored up. We're thinking he'll take the first 3 months off with us and then save some of it for later in the year.

JillD2011 · July 2011

We can use 52 weeks between us. I will be going back to work in Sept. 2012 at the beginning of the new school year, so husband will be taking the month that I won't be using.

NewMrs52106 · July 2011

DH gets nothing and has to use his sick leave. I guess if something happened to me and I was hospitalized, he'd be covered under FMLA (6 weeks unpaid).

sassy77 · July 2011

My FI doesn't have a set amount of time due to the time he has been with the company (more than 5 years,,,he been there 7 - 8 by the time the baby gets here). It surprised me when we were looking it up when I went into the hospital last week. He is only going to take the first month off...by then my mother should be moved down and his family will be coming thoughout.

MereB · July 2011

I'm not sure the policy, but my husband has saved up 3 weeks of vacation time- which has already been approved. He's discussed definitely taking the first two weeks off, and then doing half days the 3rd week, but we'll play it by ear. I'll be having a C/S again, and need help with our 2 year old while I'm healing. It's nice to have that 3rd week as an option for extra help.

eeyore3838 · July 2011

WOW! I want to move to Quebec too! Those benefits are awesome!

My hubby will have the few days PTO he still has (maybe 3 days?) and then he can use some unpaid time thru FMLA. He won't use more than 2 weeks though.

Liz4444 · July 2011

Honestly, I have no idea if DH is entitled to any sort of paternity leave. He is starting a new job right after Labor Day, luckily, he is going to work for my father. He wants to take a week, so I wouldn't think it would be too much of a problem. The baby is due ere of Yom Kippur and he's not going to be in the office during the holidays, so who knows how he wants to work things. The office is only 15 minutes away, so he can be back and forth easily, and I will have a baby nurse for 2-3 weeks and my mother around, so it's not that he needs to be here to help out, he just wants to spend time with the baby. He will probably go in almost every day and just come home a little early.

If he was still going to be at his old job, he defnitely would have taken time and only gone in if he had to go to court.

jeannkerricotober09 · July 2011

None. We are legally married lesbians but the federal government doesn't recognize us as a married couple so, in their eyes, my wife is asking for unpaid time off to help a friend even though she will be listed as a second parent on the birth certificate, from birth. Our state, MA, is amazing, the only state in the U.S. to put same sex parents on the birth certificate (they changed it so it says parent 1 and parent 2 instead of mother and father) the federal gov... not so much.

We are waiting until the fall, she is a teacher, to talk to her admin. to see what they will do for her but she can't even take sick time. The school mandates a dr's note if you take more than 2 days off in a row.

Elsa1984 · July 2011

SO has not even looked into it....I told him not to worry about it. He works in sales so if he is not at work, he does not make money. Most likely, his boss would let him use his PTO for it, but not only would he be using up his PTO....he will be losing out on all of his commission. I would rather him use his PTO for vacations (which, he still somewhat works during....but at least we are able to go out of town).

The benefit is that he works from home, so he will be home anyway. He wont be on his phone/computer during delivery or a majority of the time at the hospital but I know that he has to still work so he will have to get online occasionally to shoot out a few emails or answer a call. I am completely used to us being on vacation and him still partially working....so it will be totally normal to me. And besides....even though we are having a baby, we still have bills to pay!

So I told him not to take any time off and save his PTO so we could go on vacation sometime after the baby is born and get out of town....

karinothing · July 2011

jeannkerricotober09:
None. We are legally married lesbians but the federal government doesn't recognize us as a married couple so, in their eyes, my wife is asking for unpaid time off to help a friend even though she will be listed as a second parent on the birth certificate, from birth. Our state, MA, is amazing, the only state in the U.S. to put same sex parents on the birth certificate (they changed it so it says parent 1 and parent 2 instead of mother and father) the federal gov... not so much.
We are waiting until the fall, she is a teacher, to talk to her admin. to see what they will do for her but she can't even take sick time. The school mandates a dr's note if you take more than 2 days off in a row.

Stupid Federal Government. I just googled this really quick and it looks like FMLA will apply to same-sex couples in regards to parenting the child

https://www.fmlainsights.com/regulatory-activity/dol-permits-fmla-leave-for-gay-parents-and-others-caring-for-a-child/

On June 22, 2010, the U.S. Department of Labor issued an Administrator Interpretation (.pdf) to clarify the definition of a ?son or daughter? under the FMLA to ensure that an employee who seeks time off work to care for a child receives FMLA leave regardless of the employee?s legal or biological relationship with the child. Although the DOL interpretation arguably does not change existing law, many consider it a huge win for nontraditional families, including families in the lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender (LGBT) community who, the DOL asserts, ?often in the past have been denied leave to care for their loved ones.?

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