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Stress & Crying non-stop

KDC1014KDC1014 member
in 2nd Trimester

The past few weeks, My husband and I been under a ton of stress, because we are moving, but the past 3 days or so, my husband has been verbally abusive to me, saying extremely hurtful things, like "I can't wait until the babies are born, so I can tell you to go F yourself" and some other hurtful things.  He never acted like this before and I realize we are both stressed, but when he started the other day saying these hurtful things it was out of nowhere.  We weren't even arguing at the time. He apologized last night, but I can't seem to get over it.  I'm so hurt and scared to even tell anyone this is going on.  I feel alone.  

Now, I feel guilty with all the crying and stress that I'm hurting my babies.  Can stress be harmful to them?  I don't know how to stop thinking about it and to get myself together again.   I've been having tightness in my belly, but I don't know if it's from this or not. 

Thanks for listening.  I just needed to get this out and I'm extremely worried.  Any advice would be great from you ladies.  TIA!  

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Re: Stress & Crying non-stop

  • blue_angeleyes06blue_angeleyes06 member
    Prolonged stress can be harmful, but I don't think one or two situations will have any side effects.  I know this is difficult, but try to talk to your hubby and let him know how you're feeling and what's going on and your concerns.  Also, try not to worry so much about what he's saying.  I know this will be hard as well, I'm one who takes blame for whatever my husband says, thinking that maybe I did something wrong.  Just try to let it go and not let him get to you.  Good luck!  Hope your move goes well!
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  • Mr. & Mrs. RNMr. & Mrs. RN member

    Wow, that is very upsetting.  That would crush me too.  Buying a house is stressful enough, and I don't think us wives realize how much pressure is put on the man to provide for his family...especially a growing family.  The good news is that it won't harm the baby.  They are safe and sound in there. 

    This is your first baby?  I don't think he meant that he wants to get out once the baby is born, but I definitely think he is trying to convey to you how much pressure he is feeling right now.  If you are able to talk with him, and he is open, I would ask him what he meant when he said that.  Try to get to the bottom of what's really wrong.  And allow him to be honest.  I hate to break it to you, but adding a baby to the mix is the most stressful time on a marriage.  You think it's bad now, it's going to get way worse that 1st year of having a baby.  You will probably need to get him some counseling to deal with his emotions.  If you had a strong marriage prior to the pregnancy you can get through this!  Sounds like you both need someone to talk to.  Sending you prayers.

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  • KDC1014KDC1014 member
    Thank you both for responding.  I met him for lunch yesterday and we discussed all our concerns and issues.  He is under a lot pressure, plus trying to take care of me while I'm on modified bed rest.  It's a lot for him to handle, but I explained to him he can never talk to me that way, he said he needs to go see someone, please sometimes lately he just doesn't know how to control what comes out his mouth and it's scary, plus his hands are shaking so bad.  I really think he is under way too much stress.  Today we're moving, so hopefully it will get better, but if it doesn't we both will definitely seek some help. Thank you again. 
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