July 2011 Moms

Found in a comment on 3rd tri board. Too funny and too true.

"Dear non-pregnant friend

hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn?t mean me ? then you should probably read this twice.

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ?Congratulations!? with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father ? not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ?my baby?.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone?s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight?ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ?You look fabulous!?.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don?t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren?t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won?t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent?s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ?help out?. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

 

Sincerely, 

All the Pregnant Women in the World"

Enjoy
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Re: Found in a comment on 3rd tri board. Too funny and too true.

  • Yes
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  • LOVE this! ha
  • This is awesome.
    Mr.&Mrs. Ash&Vic Est.1.21.2006 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • I just had to email it to DH because this list names a lot of people I know that tell me things like this....... Mainly MIL and my step dad.
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  • Hey OP... you are naming your son Salem? That is my husband's name... I have never known of anyone else having his name!
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  • imageSaltina11:
    Hey OP... you are naming your son Salem? That is my husband's name... I have never known of anyone else having his name!

    Yes we are!! That is so cool I have never heard it on anyone before! Tell your DH his name rocks! Smile

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  • this is the best list. EVER Yes
  • Love this....had to copy and email to a few girlfriends :) Thank you!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Met 1992 ~ Started Dating 6/1/2006 ~ Married 11/7/2009 ~ OBCP 01/2010 ~ BFP 6/15/2010 ~ MC Twin B 6/29/2010(8wks) ~ MC Twin A 7/28/2010(12wks) ~ D&C&E 8/2/2010 ~ BFP 11/2/2010 ~ EDD 7/12/2011 ~ ARRIVED 7/18/2011 9lbs 10oz 22 inches ~ IUD removed 10/5/2012 ~ BFP 11/1/2012 ~ EDD 7/12/2013 Pregnancy Ticker
  • Actually made me LOL
  • OMG, this is perfect!  I love it! 
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  • Yes  LOL at Ticketmaster.
    DD Born July 2011
    TTC#2 for 4 years: multiple rounds of IVF, M/Cs, lots of tears.  Cautiously optimistic about #2 EDD 12/29/18
  • ffs @ #8. 

    If one more RANDOM person asks me if they will be allowed to visit at the hospital I am going to scream. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO COME TO THE HOSPITAL, not my family and ESPECIALLY not you random person I hardly even speak to.  

    My sister's friend (NOT EVEN MY FRIEND) actually had the balls to call me and say "Joy I know you don't want your family to come up and see you but what about me???"

    Really? You're not sure if this includes you? That's bordering on effing stranger danger. 



    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



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  • imageKvitale87:

    imageSaltina11:
    Hey OP... you are naming your son Salem? That is my husband's name... I have never known of anyone else having his name!

    Yes we are!! That is so cool I have never heard it on anyone before! Tell your DH his name rocks! Smile

    Lol... I will! He said at first as a kid it was tough because it's a rare name but it shaped him to be who he is and he loves that his name is unique. Plus, it means "Peace". Pretty cool!

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  • I might post this on my front door...
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  • LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! :)
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  • Yes

    I wish I had the balls to post this on my FB wall.

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  • imageKendraJoette:
    I might post this on my front door...

    Yes

    This!  My friend (she says BFF, but I just really can't handle that much) is breaking EVERY one of these rules!  She always says "I can't wait for my baby to get here!"  and when I told her that noone would be allowed to visit at the hospital except for mine & DH's parents, she said "that's fine as long as you know I will be waiting at your house when you get home"  UGH!  Seriously, what is with people?!! 

     Thanks for sharing this, I really needed it today!!

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  • I LOVE THIS!
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  • imageMrs Castillo:

    Really? You're not sure if this includes you? That's bordering on effing stranger danger. 

    OP- this is awesome!

    Mrs Castillo---I snort-laughed at your response. brilliant. 

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