High anxiety over giving birth

Mye · July 2011

I have been super anxious since monday about the birth process, i cant get it out of my head, i am thinking about how painful recovery will be either way i deliver

I keep thinking that my OB decides to go the vaginal birth route, and then i need an emergency c-section for the other twin, or if i go straight to a c-section.

I am thinking of the giant gash across my stomach or my cooch looking like a filet

mterpstra · July 2011

I am right there with you! I am very hopeful that I will be able to deliver vaginally...but I am so scared of tearing. I was looking up perineal massage last night and would start now if they told me to!

Qmommy · July 2011

The thing about recovery is that you have a (2 in your case) beautiful baby(ies) to distract you. They will be your world and the little bit of pain will go away before you know it.

A friend of mine delivered twins naturally (no meds). If she can do it, you can too!

emd2887 · July 2011

I think this is pretty normal. Some days I go almost into full panic-attack mode, thinking "a baby is going to come out of THERE???" When we were unloading groceries one night, DH mentioned that a gallon of milk weighs 8 lbs. All I could think about for the rest of the night was how in the world something that weighed as much as, or more, than that was going to come out of my body.

tosh24 · July 2011

lol...sorry, the cooch fillet got me.

I'm no expert 'cause I've never had twins, but I think that the birth process is likely something that you and your doctor will have to wait and see about, depending on the position of the twins. If they're both head down, or even if the first is head down and the second twin is frank breech, some doctors will allow a vaginal delivery. Unless there is a need to, I would attempt the vaginal before doing a c-section.

DH is on day 3 post hernia surgery in the groin area. He is in so much friggin' pain and so drugged up that I can't imagine going through a c-section and having to care for 2 babies. The man can barely get to the bathroom without help. I know some women have found their c-section to be a "breeze", but I seriously would aim for a vaginal delivery if you have the option, because I couldn't imagine the alternative situation where things weren't a breeze.

And generally speaking, it's pretty likely that your cooch won't get filleted.

klafle3 · July 2011

You should definitely read some books that are positive about childbirth. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is a really good one. I mentioned this on another thread yesterday -- it's very crunchy, but empowering.

I think it is part of our culture to make women fear birth, but you shouldn't let it stress you out so much. (I know, easier said than done.) And I'm sure there is a higher risk of you having a c-section because you're having twins, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. I know plenty of women who have bounced back and recovered quickly.

I don't really have personal experience, as this is my first.. but I HTH.

capulet · July 2011

I wouldn't cite my own experience as a way to assuage your anxiety about the birth process (my labor was awful), but I have a c-section scar and I can assure you I almost never think about it. Most c-sections nowadays (even emergency procedures like mine) use low abdominal incisions, so the scar is right over the pubic area. I can't imagine how anyone besides DH and my doctor would ever see it, and it's faded now so it's not that obvious anyway. Also, my recovery was pretty easy despite laboring first.

But I understand your anxiety. I was nervous too, and am still intimidated enough by vaginal birth that I'm probably going for a repeat c-section, because I know what it's like. There are horror stories either way, but they're the exception. Most women have a tolerable recovery however they give birth, and once it's over you do have plenty of happier things to thing about!

kwinkle1980 · July 2011

I am also terrified of giving birth (and I talked to a girlfriend who has had three kids, and she says it still terrifies her). I have had surgery before in the abdominal area and it took my months to feel even slightly normal. I can't take pain medications so that made it much harder. I really hope I don't need a c-section!

The thought of doing the most painful thing known to mankind (ahem...womankind) in a few months SHOULD cause anxiety, in my opinion, lest any bumpers try to tell us to "put on our big panties."

GoldenPeaches · July 2011

klafle3:
You should definitely read some books that are positive about childbirth. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is a really good one. I mentioned this on another thread yesterday -- it's very crunchy, but empowering.
I think it is part of our culture to make women fear birth, but you shouldn't let it stress you out so much. (I know, easier said than done.) And I'm sure there is a higher risk of you having a c-section because you're having twins, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. I know plenty of women who have bounced back and recovered quickly.
I don't really have personal experience, as this is my first.. but I HTH.

I agree with this! Perhaps you can check out some positive birth affirmations (mine came with the Hypnobabies book I am reading) to remind you that you are made for this and you and your body are strong. Also, think of all the ladies who have had vaginal and c-sections and have went on to have more kids. If it was horrible, women wouldn't choose to do it again and again. The end result will be worth it, just try to keep your eyes on the prize.

tosh24 · July 2011

emd2887:
I think this is pretty normal. Some days I go almost into full panic-attack mode, thinking "a baby is going to come out of THERE???" When we were unloading groceries one night, DH mentioned that a gallon of milk weighs 8 lbs. All I could think about for the rest of the night was how in the world something that weighed as much as, or more, than that was going to come out of my body.

You need this t-shirt lol! I've been so tempted to buy it.

domesticatedhuman · July 2011

I was really nervous too, but like a few other PP I have been reading positive birth books and stories and it has helped me so much! One of the things I like to think about that also helps me is that "Every single human being on this earth was born of a woman". BILLIONS. BILLIONS! I mean, come on! We really are made for this.

I agree with the other PP who said our society likes to make it out worse than it is. Drama sells TV shows. Definitely read Ina May's book, as crunchy as it can get at times. Look up birthing videos. Yes, they are a bit scary but it's closer to reality than whatever drama on TV with the woman screaming and yelling. Some of the birthing videos I have seen have alsmot moved me to tears because ti really can be a beautiful process, and it's so full of emotion.

Vagina's are made to stretch and being relaxed will help that. The whole purpose of the vagina is to have a baby come from it. Most healthy people don't wake up in the morning and think, "OH NO! I will need to use my eyes today, I hope they still work later!" or "Gee, when I eat my intestines better filter that food properly!" We trust that our other organs work as they were generally intended. How much worry about size, appearance, smell, etc have we had our whole lives for our FEMALE organs? It's not natural to doubt your body, it's a learned behaviour that we are taught from a young age. Trust your cooch, this is what it is made to do

mmecarter · July 2011

When I start to overthink the fact that I have to push a watermelon (or so theBump ticker says...) out my vag - I have to stop and remind myself that it is what my body was built for and that women have been doing it forever. Chances are that I'll come out nearly unscathed. Hopefully.

klafle3 · July 2011

domesticatedhuman:
I was really nervous too, but like a few other PP I have been reading positive birth books and stories and it has helped me so much! One of the things I like to think about that also helps me is that "Every single human being on this earth was born of a woman". BILLIONS. BILLIONS! I mean, come on! We really are made for this.

I agree with the other PP who said our society likes to make it out worse than it is. Drama sells TV shows. Definitely read Ina May's book, as crunchy as it can get at times. Look up birthing videos. Yes, they are a bit scary but it's closer to reality than whatever drama on TV with the woman screaming and yelling. Some of the birthing videos I have seen have alsmot moved me to tears because ti really can be a beautiful process, and it's so full of emotion.

Vagina's are made to stretch and being relaxed will help that. The whole purpose of the vagina is to have a baby come from it. Most healthy people don't wake up in the morning and think, "OH NO! I will need to use my eyes today, I hope they still work later!" or "Gee, when I eat my intestines better filter that food properly!" We trust that our other organs work as they were generally intended. How much worry about size, appearance, smell, etc have we had our whole lives for our FEMALE organs? It's not natural to doubt your body, it's a learned behaviour that we are taught from a young age. Trust your cooch, this is what it is made to do

Yes

alieb82 · July 2011

You're not alone! My good friend was over last week, and she asked me if I've ever watched a video of someone giving birth which I haven't. (I think the extent of my visual experience was watching Norman the cow have her baby in City Slickers) Her dad is an obgyn so she's seen and heard it all, and she told me I definitely had to check it out so I know what's in store. Well I went online that night and....O....M....G....WTF?! I swear I had both of my hands up in front of my face, and I was peeking between my fingers haha. It's perfectly normal to be freaked out by it, and I just keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it in the end. I flip flop every day about whether or not I'd rather go vaginal or have a c-section...today I'm voting c-section.

06hoky · July 2011

I haven't gotten anxious yet but I am sure I will when it gets closer.

domesticatedhuman · July 2011

I'm sure from my posts on this forum that it's clear I am pro-natural birth, but I just wanted to add that there is a reason natural deliveries can be released same day from the hospital while c-sections are held for 4 days. Even if you do tear vaginally, it is not as bad as an abdominal incision. Just wanted to add that in there for people who are thinking it's "easier" to do a c-section as according to the medical community it isn't.

kwinkle1980 · July 2011

Trust your cootch....this is going to be my childbirth mantra! LOL

Mye · July 2011

I keep thinking about DH great grandmother who gave birth to twins, in the middle of the desert, 80 something yrs ago, and if she did it and survived so can I, but i cannot stop obsessing about it

Thank you everyone for your replies, i def need to read the book you recommended

bendylim · July 2011

I was anxious before giving birth to DS, but I kept saying to myself "If it was that bad, we would all be only children, right?". My labor was relatively easy and I think if you go into it with a positive attitude and trust your body (and your nurse) you will be fine. Just keep thinking it's pain with a purpose.

In all honesty too, I delivered vaginally, and naturally , and the pain from delivery was gone and forgotten very soon after delivery for me. I was up walking a bit later that night and I was okay. I was sore, but nothing unbearable. I agree with pp, read positive birth stories.

Mike&Care · July 2011

You should ask your dr. how big the cut is for a c-section. My friend just had her second c-section and her dr. prides herself on making super small incisions. Her scar is only about 2.5 inches long if that.

I wouldn't be nervous about birth though, honestly it's the best part of pregnancy. You get to meet your babies!

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