My CW, re: working f/t, comments please

fricksgirl · July 2011

Have any of you part time moms gone back to full time?!? I need some wise words.

I'm pretty sure I'm going back to work full time in the fall. My boss told me the full time job is mine if I want it, it's up to me.

I feel like this is the time. My gut is telling me to do it, that it's the best thing for my boys and for my job and everything else. That this is the time to be involved and really throw myself in to their school life. We've had a rocky financial year, and we are just coming around to a time when we are going to be back on top of things. It's a good time for me to start bringing home a little bit more bacon.

I'm scared. I'm scared that our weekends will become nothing but grocery shopping and cleaning. I'm scared about feeling like I'm ditching Simon when I had 5 years of working p/t with Alex (although this past year he was in school f/t) and only one of him. But- he's on campus with me and he is in the BEST place for him- he learns so much more there than he does with me and he loves it. I can visit him whenever I want.

Any words of wisdom? I know these fears are normal but I'm just feeling trepedacious. Ugh.

bubbs147 · July 2011

I made the transition in April. It's tough. I really enjoyed my part time schedule with the girls. And the weekends/evenings are busy, no doubt about it. But I know I'm doing what's good for my girls. We're able to put away college money for them and give them the things we never had as kids, and that gets me through. Good luck! That is great that DS is on campus with you! Hopefully that will help!

tiki_t · July 2011

You are forgetting one thing: Daycare wears kids out. When I was working, my grocery shopping and cleaning was much more under control than now when I'm home all day with them. I could come home from work, do some cleaning, put the kids right to bed and after they were asleep, run out for a quick trip to the store. Weekends were wide open. Now I wear them out, they wear me out, the house is a mess and I'm behind on chores.

Attitude is everything. Amp the kids up. We're going to school! There will be other kids. Lots of fun. They'll look forward to it and they'll appreciate family time even more.

The biggest problem I ran into when I was working full time with the kids was work boundaries. Work seemed to keep pushing these emergency projects. Between caring for the kids and pulling all nighters, it was wrecking me. So make sure you scope out what full time means, that they understand that an emergency is a once in a while thing... not a re-occurring way to cut the work force and dump it all on you.

Like you said, they'll be on campus with you and you can go visit them when you need to. Go for it! You can do this!

Mrs.K&C · July 2011

I've always worked full time but I will say there were times when I was worried our weekends would be filled with housework and not fun...but it's totally do-able. Some tips:

1) grocery delivery. Period. We spend less because I can see how much is in my cart and delete those gallons of ice cream we don't need, it's a huge time saver (I'll put the order in after the kids are asleep) and it saves a bunch of time. Check.

2). Okay, we now have a housekeeper every other week but the way we avoided spending the entire weekend cleaning was to do most of it on Friday night after the kids went to bed, or do it first thing Sat morning while the kids are just hanging out coloring and watching a movie or whatever. Like, too early to go outside and wake up the neighbors.

3) We make a plan to do something fun with the kids on the weekend, every weekend. Now sometimes that something fun is going to a family member's house for a birthday party or something, or sometimes it's just spending an hour at the park, or whatever. We also belong to a swim club so we can take the kids swimming as well.

4) Errands are very fun for both Sabrina and Travis. Really, they love sitting in the cart and talking to people.

5) Give up the guilt. The kids are happy to be around you whether you are sweeping a floor or sitting next to them on a roller coaster.

6) Not having to scrimp and save and not worry as much about money...priceless. Makes for happier mommies and daddies.

AvaLikeLava · July 2011

Mrs.K&C:
I've always worked full time but I will say there were times when I was worried our weekends would be filled with housework and not fun...but it's totally do-able. Some tips:
1) grocery delivery. Period. We spend less because I can see how much is in my cart and delete those gallons of ice cream we don't need, it's a huge time saver (I'll put the order in after the kids are asleep) and it saves a bunch of time. Check.
2). Okay, we now have a housekeeper every other week but the way we avoided spending the entire weekend cleaning was to do most of it on Friday night after the kids went to bed, or do it first thing Sat morning while the kids are just hanging out coloring and watching a movie or whatever. Like, too early to go outside and wake up the neighbors.
3) We make a plan to do something fun with the kids on the weekend, every weekend. Now sometimes that something fun is going to a family member's house for a birthday party or something, or sometimes it's just spending an hour at the park, or whatever. We also belong to a swim club so we can take the kids swimming as well.
4) Errands are very fun for both Sabrina and Travis. Really, they love sitting in the cart and talking to people.
5) Give up the guilt. The kids are happy to be around you whether you are sweeping a floor or sitting next to them on a roller coaster.
6) Not having to scrimp and save and not worry as much about money...priceless. Makes for happier mommies and daddies.

Hands down, ditto, 100%.

I'll also add that to some degree I tend to enjoy my time with the kids so much more, because it's so much more precious. Not saying SAH/PAH parents don't enjoy time with their children, just that it's a different way you end up looking at it.

My.ABC.Life · July 2011

I didn't go from PT to FT, I have always worked FT... but I thought I'd jump in anyway - hope that's ok. You're right... it IS hard. But you make it happen. The same way you made going from staying at home with your babe over maternity leave to going back PT.

You're right about the weekends. I find it really hard to do many weekend activities that don't activly involve my kid. To help adjust to that, I've found that my kid can actually help with a lot of necessary chores/activities in a fun way (sweeping the kitchen while I do dishes, watering the plants with me, help vacuum, etc.). Two things that help free up my weekeend time with my kid... I grocery shop on Sunday while he's napping (so I don't have to drag him along, and so I don't miss time with him) and we have a house cleaner (that's a major relief!).

GOOD luck with your decision!

pink.dutch.tulips · July 2011

My.ABC.Life:

I didn't go from PT to FT, I have always worked FT... but I thought I'd jump in anyway - hope that's ok. You're right... it IS hard. But you make it happen. The same way you made going from staying at home with your babe over maternity leave to going back PT.

You're right about the weekends. I find it really hard to do many weekend activities that don't activly involve my kid. To help adjust to that, I've found that my kid can actually help with a lot of necessary chores/activities in a fun way (sweeping the kitchen while I do dishes, watering the plants with me, help vacuum, etc.). Two things that help free up my weekeend time with my kid... I grocery shop on Sunday while he's napping (so I don't have to drag him along, and so I don't miss time with him) and we have a house cleaner (that's a major relief!).

GOOD luck with your decision!

this .. dd LOVES helping me clean .. squirt some water on a rag and she's the happiest lil girl wiping down everything in sight. also she LOVE LOVE LOVES the grocery store and loves unloading the bags handing the groceries to me. as a FT working mom - i'm come to realize that it's not the quanity of time spent w/ your kids that matter but the quality of that time.

futrkingsley · July 2011

I worked a 4 day week from 4 months until C was 12 months old and DH has worked an alternate schedule since before he was born. We still struggle with chores, groceries, errands, etc. We still struggle with getting dinner on the table (which actually was our struggle before he was born). We don't have a house cleaner or do grocery delivery (since TJ's doesn't do delivery) and we spend a good chunk of our weekends loading and unloading a not happy kid from the car. The only saving grace for us is that Dh is currently working an alternate schedule that leaves him 3 hours a week at home alone in the mornings to do big cleaning, and grocery shopping. It has downsides like a later dinner or missed daddy/C time a few nights a week, but it saves time on our weekends.

The things I try to do to help manage our time is to buy non-perishables in multiples when they are on sale so I'm not running to the store for peanut butter. We try to get all our produce at the farmer's market on the weekends because it's the only shopping C enjoys and it's a fun family outing. DH does the TJ's run once a week for milk, etc. And DH runs laundry in the mornings before work.

Good luck finding short cuts that work for all of you.

ladipale · July 2011

Hands down, housecleaner Even if its just once/month. Let me know if you need a rec, we've used our off and on for quite a few years.

I'm still new at the 2 full time working parent game, and it is hard, there is no doubt about it. (especially after a night like last night where Ellie was up from 10 until 1!) One of the things I struggle the most with is leaving E to go workout, even though working out is absolutely essential to my mental health. I even go workout on the weekends when E is up, and I've reconciled it by reminding myself that John needs time with just E, and frankly, he loves it and cherishes it so much.

2bearichards · July 2011

Mrs.K&C:

I've always worked full time but I will say there were times when I was worried our weekends would be filled with housework and not fun...but it's totally do-able. Some tips:

1) grocery delivery. Period. We spend less because I can see how much is in my cart and delete those gallons of ice cream we don't need, it's a huge time saver (I'll put the order in after the kids are asleep) and it saves a bunch of time. Check.

2). Okay, we now have a housekeeper every other week but the way we avoided spending the entire weekend cleaning was to do most of it on Friday night after the kids went to bed, or do it first thing Sat morning while the kids are just hanging out coloring and watching a movie or whatever. Like, too early to go outside and wake up the neighbors.

3) We make a plan to do something fun with the kids on the weekend, every weekend. Now sometimes that something fun is going to a family member's house for a birthday party or something, or sometimes it's just spending an hour at the park, or whatever. We also belong to a swim club so we can take the kids swimming as well.

4) Errands are very fun for both Sabrina and Travis. Really, they love sitting in the cart and talking to people.

5) Give up the guilt. The kids are happy to be around you whether you are sweeping a floor or sitting next to them on a roller coaster.

6) Not having to scrimp and save and not worry as much about money...priceless. Makes for happier mommies and daddies.

Also 100% ditto. Although I don't use the grocery delivery, I take an hour on Sunday and do the shopping myself (you might find you need a break during the weekend, although sometimes I take the kid(s)).

And get a housekeeper. Ours comes every other week and it is, by far, the best money we spend and it really isn't that expensive when you think about the time you are saving.

EmmieB · July 2011

I have no personal experience, but I'd like to say:

a) if you feel like it's the best thing for your family, then go for it. You are the best judge of that and you shouldn't let anyone else (aside from your H, and the kids, obviously) dictate that.

b) if you find your job fulfilling and still make quality time for your kids, what they'll see is that their parents are putting their own happiness high up on the list of priorities, which will give them "permission" to do the same for themselves.

c) Good luck!

Ang&Garrett · July 2011

I think this is such a hard decision and your situation is different than most. It's so ideal that your kids are right there with you so you can see them throughout the day. I will tell you my perspective from being full time SAH to full time working. It was a BIG change for all of us. I was very sad right when I made the decision, totally full of guilt. It was HANDS DOWN the best thing for our entire family at the time. The extra money allowed Garrison to go to preschool, both boys got awesome time with Daddy and my parents, my parents loved having them... Garrett stepped up as a dad in so many ways I had wanted him to! He also realized how hard being home with them really is and he just had one day a week alone with them. It gave us some good income to pay off medical bills from Garrett's big scare and pad our savings. BUT... I missed my boys like crazy! I was tired after working with little ones all day then wanting to come home and be super mom. It was a lot! The weekends were filled with shopping and cleaning and getting caught up. The weekends where we didn't do that because we were off having fun, then made for stressful weeks. I really had to be "on my game" to keep up with it all. In the end I am thankful I took the job. It showed me that I LOVE what I do and I love being out there working. It also showed me I am not ready for full time. My guys will only be little so long. I feel like I missed so much in the 5 months I was working. I am at peace knowing that there is always time for us to have more money but these precious years will slip by quickly. For me the best feels like working a few days a week. I hope and pray that will work out, but full time just isn't a good fit for us yet. I wish you all the best in making the choice.

Want a personalized experience?

My CW, re: working f/t, comments please

Re: My CW, re: working f/t, comments please

Choose Another Board

Search Boards