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October 2011 Moms
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You want to do "it," but can't...

LauriJean_2009LauriJean_2009
in October 2011 Moms

For those of you on pelvic rest...  or for those who just can't have sex for some reason or another right now...  What are you doing to keep "connected" with your SO?

I'm having a hard time these days.  I broke down tonight during a conversation with MH and told him I was feeling unwanted.  I know he loves me.  And just this past Friday he packed a picnic lunch for me and we went to the park.  It's just that without sexual intimacy, I feel like something is missing.

He understands, but we're not sure what we can/should do since orgasms are a no-no.  

I told him to "kiss me   like he wants to 'do me' but stop short."  He said he was afraid that it might make it worse for me. 

What are you doing?  Any ideas, thoughts, words of encouragement?

Doctor said anything goes at 34 weeks.  I CANNOT wait for 34 weeks.  :) 

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Re: You want to do "it," but can't...

  • cnw112784cnw112784
    for me, im not on pelvic rest, but its REALLY uncomfortable for me as of about a week ago...I dont know if its just because everything is smashed or what..but I completely understand...my husband said its no big deal but its a big deal for me...I just keep thinking this isnt forever....sorry I dont have many other encouraging words...
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  • HappyAardvarkHappyAardvark member

    Sex? Wait... what's that again? LOL. 

    It's actually DH who has the issues... stupid as it is, he can't get past the fact that now my belly is so big and he's felt the baby kick, that he just can't separate the two of us.  I'm not surprised - pre-pg, we couldn't even get it on if one of the dogs was in the room... so I was pretty much expecting this eventuality, actually.  It sucks but I know it's only temporary and I am not internalizing it.  

    For the record, he's still amazing and supportive, tells me every day how beautiful I am, and is affectionate in other ways (not sexually though - I think that would just lead to more frustration for both of us!). 

    July 20th, 2012: Never forget the day the fb douchebags tried so hard, but ultimately failed. Viva la October 2011! Yeah, I called you douchebags.

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    "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

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  • MrsLoosMrsLoos

    I've been on pelvic rest since 16 weeks and before that I wasn't feeling well and exhausted so we have had sex a total of 2 times since I got my BFP. Before that I was on pelvic rest throughout my IVF cycle so DH & I have probably had sex maybe 4 times this year.

    I don't know that I have any answers for you, just that I understand! I think what helps us get through it is knowing that it isn't forever. I know we'll have to make a conscious effort once the babies are here and my OB has ok'd sex - I'm guessing the last thing I'm going to want to do after taking care of two babies all day is get busy with DH, but I know it's important:)

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  • Sammy-MaeSammy-Mae
    Lots of foot rubs.  DH gives me lots of foot rubs.  It's not sex but it's a physical connection.  
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  • ashleighlynn0812ashleighlynn0812
    imageSammy-Mae:
    Lots of foot rubs.  DH gives me lots of foot rubs.  It's not sex but it's a physical connection.  

    This. Foot rubs and back rubs. Its a physical intimacy between SO and I and we still have that physical connection. I feel your pain girl! A few more weeks! :)
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  • twinkle115twinkle115 member

    A way that my husband and I stay intimate is that we shower a lot together.

    It's a nice way for us to bond, have some intimacy without doing the "deed", and get clean at the same time!

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