I kind of agree with the guy in the article

dirtbikemom · July 2011

I might get flamed for agreeing with some of this article but several of us have talked about "THE LOOK" before and it is funny he brings it up. Of course we have all had our moments with our own kids so I have been on both sides of this.

https://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/05/granderson.bratty.kids/index.html?iref=allsearch

green*eyes · July 2011

IMO articles like this are pretty useless - they just stir debate and don't give any real insight. How about citing some research about what types of discipline actually work? (It's not spanking, which he suggests "shouldn't be taken off the table" but gives no evidence to support that idea) Yes, there are plenty of parents who aren't disciplining adequately, but just stating that they should be tougher does absolutely nothing to help educate parents on what that means, or what does work. Yelling and spanking aren't it, but many of us don't know what else to do, if we haven't learned it from our own parents, friends, books etc. An article on authoritative parenting, falling somewhere in between the old extreme of yelling/spanking/intimidation and current overpermissiveness, isn't as exciting or controversial, so it doesn't get press.

kittylove · July 2011

Very well said Green Eyes, I agree. I will be happy to admit I don't always have a solution to my child's behavior issue, but don't tell me I am doing it wrong unless you can tell me how to do it right or at least better.

alibee09 · July 2011

I agree, too. It also bothers me that articles like this paint all children with a broad brush, forgetting that some children can't/shouldn't be disciplined using "traditional" methods and that there are some very good reasons why certain kids behave in certain ways.

I think kids sometimes are just an easy target for derision when really, there are people who act out (or are allowed to do so) for all age groups and of all abilities.

Celyn · July 2011

I couldn't help but notice the color of the author's skin, and for that I apologize and it's not something I normally consider in anything. That said, there's a very interesting disconnect between white families that use corporal punishment (and it's negative results) and black families (for whom it tends to work, at least according to the data summarized in Nurture Shock).

One could certainly write a similar article (and many have) concerning adults' behaviour and others' acceptance of it. I can definitely name several politicians who were probably disciplined according to the author's recommendation, and who turned into pretty terribly self-absorbed individuals that are more lacking in self-control than my child.

tiki_t · July 2011

I think kids and dogs have something in common. There are people who think that theirs can do no wrong so they don't take control or responsibility for them and then there are those who understand that having one is hard work and put the effort into doing the right thing.

I agree that these articles are useless because people who already take responsibility know that they are and people who aren't taking responsibility think that they are entitled to be above it and that being considerate does not apply to them.

I agree with his points though and parent to disciplining early. Sometimes there are situations where you just cannot remove the child though... like at the grocery store. Sorry but once you are out of food, no tantrum is going to keep you from feeding your family. That's why I pick a family friendly market. If they see a mom struggling, they run over and help by either opening a new lane or handing the kid stickers.

My.ABC.Life · July 2011

tiki_t:

I think kids and dogs have something in common. There are people who think that theirs can do no wrong so they don't take control or responsibility for them and then there are those who understand that having one is hard work and put the effort into doing the right thing.

I use Cesar Milan's approach to dog training on my kid... BE THE ALPHA DOG. If my kid knows *I'm* in charge... the rest is easy. (OK, I lie... its still not easy, but I do want my kid to know I'm the boss).

tiki_t · July 2011

My.ABC.Life:
tiki_t:

I think kids and dogs have something in common. There are people who think that theirs can do no wrong so they don't take control or responsibility for them and then there are those who understand that having one is hard work and put the effort into doing the right thing.

I use Cesar Milan's approach to dog training on my kid... BE THE ALPHA DOG. If my kid knows *I'm* in charge... the rest is easy. (OK, I lie... its still not easy, but I do want my kid to know I'm the boss).

Did you see the South Park episode where the mom gets tired of her kid's behavior so she brings in a dog trainer?

My.ABC.Life · July 2011

tiki_t:
My.ABC.Life:
tiki_t:

I think kids and dogs have something in common. There are people who think that theirs can do no wrong so they don't take control or responsibility for them and then there are those who understand that having one is hard work and put the effort into doing the right thing.

I use Cesar Milan's approach to dog training on my kid... BE THE ALPHA DOG. If my kid knows *I'm* in charge... the rest is easy. (OK, I lie... its still not easy, but I do want my kid to know I'm the boss).

Did you see the South Park episode where the mom gets tired of her kid's behavior so she brings in a dog trainer?

Haaaa! NO!! I need to look that up!!

tiki_t · July 2011

My.ABC.Life:
tiki_t:
My.ABC.Life:
tiki_t:

I think kids and dogs have something in common. There are people who think that theirs can do no wrong so they don't take control or responsibility for them and then there are those who understand that having one is hard work and put the effort into doing the right thing.

I use Cesar Milan's approach to dog training on my kid... BE THE ALPHA DOG. If my kid knows *I'm* in charge... the rest is easy. (OK, I lie... its still not easy, but I do want my kid to know I'm the boss).

Did you see the South Park episode where the mom gets tired of her kid's behavior so she brings in a dog trainer?

Haaaa! NO!! I need to look that up!!

OMG.. just looked it up. They are making fun of Cesar Milan's approach in it. Hahaa! You can watch it here.

https://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s10e07-tsst

Mrs.BoomBoom · July 2011

Our homework assignment the 1st day of teacher training was to get in front of the mirror and practice our "Look" Most of the time, I can control a class with "the look" I can still make my DH cringe with "the look" which I sometimes throw out of habit, so, I agree, we should all have a look that says "I mean business" "I'm not playing" "do what I say NOW" Without discipline, you have nothing...you can't get to anything you WANT to do without it (because you're running around putting out fires)

Mrs.K&C · July 2011

I have made my bosses - who are Presidents of large corporations - curl up into fetal position with my look. My daughter? Eh, not so much.

We're all very different.

mythreesons03 · July 2011

Celyn:
I couldn't help but notice the color of the author's skin, and for that I apologize and it's not something I normally consider in anything. That said, there's a very interesting disconnect between white families that use corporal punishment (and it's negative results) and black families (for whom it tends to work, at least according to the data summarized in Nurture Shock).
One could certainly write a similar article (and many have) concerning adults' behaviour and others' acceptance of it. I can definitely name several politicians who were probably disciplined according to the author's recommendation, and who turned into pretty terribly self-absorbed individuals that are more lacking in self-control than my child.

Ditto this. Its a ongoing debate in our homes

mythreesons03 · July 2011

Celyn:
I couldn't help but notice the color of the author's skin, and for that I apologize and it's not something I normally consider in anything. That said, there's a very interesting disconnect between white families that use corporal punishment (and it's negative results) and black families (for whom it tends to work, at least according to the data summarized in Nurture Shock).
One could certainly write a similar article (and many have) concerning adults' behaviour and others' acceptance of it. I can definitely name several politicians who were probably disciplined according to the author's recommendation, and who turned into pretty terribly self-absorbed individuals that are more lacking in self-control than my child.

Ditto this. Its a ongoing debate in our home.

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