Some people just don't understand..venting

Re: Some people just don't understand..venting

• Jessys_Girl

  July 2011

  lilstar2009:

  So I was talking to one of my friends tonight, she wanted to know how we were doing since she hadn't seen us since 2.5 weeks ago when I was still in the hospital post c section.  She has a 2 year old son who was full term, vaginal delivery..so she asks me about our LO (born at 30 weeks and 4 days) and I said he is feeding and growing like a champ.  She then goes on to say, well you are so lucky because you don't have to get up every 1.5 hours to feed him for the first 6 weeks...I didn't even know what to say to this...how about my child is in the ICU and there's not a moment that goes by where I am not worried about something terrible happening with him...how about I look forward to the 20 minutes per day I actually get to hold him...how about the nights where I just cry after seeing him alone in the isolette....I was so mad...what I wouldn't give to have LO here at home with me, I would be happy to wake up every 1.5 hours...
  

  I am so sorry.

  I was blessed that we didn't have any NICU time even though DD was preemie, but my neice and my nephew both were NICU babies, so I watched my sister go through this.

  I think it's perfectly acceptable to say to your friend: "Yeah, I'm sure that sleepless nights with a baby are difficult, but I have sleepless nights anyway, worrying about his health, development and growth.  I'd rather have him home to hold, than worry about losing a little sleep." I mean, I understand that she was probably trying to do a "look at the bright side" thing....but she was very misguided.

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• mrsmacias2008 member

  July 2011

  I HATED THAT COMMENT.it was like, really? Do you get I would rather be up all night with them at home then be up all night sick with worry? Not having them with us for the first 6 weeks was torture. People kept telling us to get as much rest as we could. You don't sleep when your children are in the NICU. Yes, we were lucky that they just needed to grow but it doesn't take the anxiety and sad days away.

  MY FOUR ANGELS... M/C 12/26/02 AT 4 WEEKS M/C 12/31/07 AT 12 WEEKS, D & C M/C 12/5/08 AT 9 WEEKS, D & C ***BFP ON 3/26/09*** MARY REYNA BORN AND PASSED AWAY JULY 31ST, 2009 AT 23 WEEKS. GOODBYE SWEET BABY...I WILL MISS YOU FOREVER. ***AFTER 17 WEEKS ON BEDREST***

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• ahava2005

  July 2011

  My girls are now 1.5, but what I used to say was that I still WAS up every 2 hours....only I was pumping all by myself and didn't have a little one to hold.  Or I was up in the NICU.

  You do get through it.  My girls were in the NICU for two months after being born at 30 weeks gestation, and are now happy and healthy toddlers.

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• livnluv2010 member

  July 2011

  Some people just say the most insensitive things.  Everytime someone said something like that to me I just kept telling myself that they don't understand because they haven't been through it.  It still doesn't mean its ok for them to make comments like that, its like they don't think before commenting!!!  Sorry your going through this with your friend- hang in there!

  *DS born at 31 weeks due to pPROM- November 2010-our little miracle! 

  
  

  *TFAS since May 2014 

  *Early miscarriage-Sept 2014

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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