Okay, am I the devil now or what?

Blairby · July 2011

So there was an incident yesterday that I'd really like to get some perspective on... My husband invited a friend to his family's pool party yesterday. When I greeted him, with a non-alcoholic Becks in hand, he gave me an extremely dirty look. I fluffed it off and presumed I had imagined it. An hour or so later, I went outside to hang out with my husband, same N/A beer in tow. This time the friend continued to glare at me, shifting his eyes from beer to me to belly, beer to me to belly. I said, "(Insert friend's name), relax, it's non-alcoholic." And with the utmost disgust and condescension he replies, "Whatever, it's not MY baby." Needless to say I dumped the N/A Becks and have been fretting over FAS ever since. Am I grossly overreacting? My husband thinks so (and I'll discuss it with my doctor when I see him tomorrow), but I can't help but feel a bit shaken by his friend's reaction to my sipping a non-alcoholic brew. Your thoughts?

kaustin2010 · July 2011

I think your husband's friend was being kindof a jerk! I'm rockin' the O'Douls myself these days.

mabst196 · July 2011

The friend was being an asswipe, but being concerned about FAS is pretty dumb of you considering you were drinking non alcoholic beer. Do you think he has some insight to the nonalcoholic beer segment that you don't? Come on now. Relax.

dottymobo · July 2011

Give the friend a junk punch, tell him to mind his own *** business, and move on.

He was condescending, douchey, and not backed by facts. There is a very very small amount of alcohol in N/A beer, but so small as to be inconsequential. I cannot conceive that any FAS cases ever have been caused by N/A beer. Considering that many doctors in the US are cool with some wine or beer in the later part of pregnancy, a study has been done in Ireland with daily beer drinkers, and the wine culture in more of Europe, I can't believe that an N/A beer will harm your fetus.

2-Step · July 2011

Yes, the friend and you are both overreacting. N/A beer has .5% alcohol in it. There are many women around the world who enjoy a glass of wine in pregancy with no adverse effects. In fact there was a very large study done recently that showed light drinking had absolutley no measureable effect on the baby (light being a few drinks a week). Seriously, one N/A beer is not going to give your baby FAS.

Here is the study: https://news.discovery.com/human/alcohol-drinking-pregnant-women.html

"The study, which found no evidence of harm from having a couple drinks a week during pregnancy, was so well done and its findings so conclusive that it ought to become the final word in the field, said Fred Bookstein, an applied statistician who studies fetal alcohol spectrum disorders at both the University of Washington, Seattle, and the University of Vienna."

"Bookstein was more forthcoming. His group in Seattle, he said, has never seen a case of damage to a child whose mother drank during pregnancy, unless she binged. He defined a binge as five or more drinks in one sitting, four or more drinks several times a month, or drinking to the point of intoxication more than once."

I personally don't drink when pregnant, but I do enjoy my N/A beer! Please please don't stress about N/A beer, stress is much worse for your baby and your friend is obviously ignorant.

Blairby · July 2011

You sound just like my husband, haha. He called me dumb too. Seriously, thank you. Though you two (you and my hubs) are a bit stern, I could use the reassurance that I'm not a monster. Worry wart, yes. Monster, no.

Blairby · July 2011

My bad, that meant to be a reply to Mabst. Though all of the other reassurance (and studies, thank you!) is appreciared

ColoradoAlly · July 2011

Just for the record, even if the beer was alcoholic, one beer does NOT cause FAS! That friend is an ignorant, judgmental, jerk, so try not to let it bother you. There's nothing wrong with drinking non-alcoholic beer (or alcoholic beer in moderation according to most countries and new research).

Blairby · July 2011

*Appreciated.

Guess I had one too many non-alcoholic beers.

ColoradoAlly · July 2011

Oh and I so wish I was at the pool party! I would have gone off on him! I'm so sick of our ignorant culture and fear mongering re pregnancy and alcohol.

tosh24 · July 2011

Your DH's friend is a misinformed jerk-off.

N/A beer has what, 0.5% alcohol in it? Definitely not going to give your baby FAS or put it anywhere on the spectrum.

My doctor gave me the "while no safe amount of alcohol in pregnancy has ever been determined" spiel, he also added that to seriously have a baby with FAS, you'd need to drink like a fish. I know your friend's judgement is probably making you paranoid, but if you think of the situation rationally I think you can conclude that nothing you did is going to hurt your baby.

Captaintightpants · July 2011

Wow, what an idiot, I mean seriously. I'm surprised your H didn't say anything to him, I know my husband would have jumped down said dumb@ass throat if he spoke to me that way. People seem to think they always know best when it comes to Pregnancy, even when their uneducated dummies like this guy, who just seem to think they know what's best.

Don't worry, it's fine. Some pregnant women have a glass of wine from time to time, and it's fine. I'm sorry it had you so upset though.

Unknown · July 2011

This content has been removed.

b.heather · July 2011

2-Step:
Yes, the friend and you are both overreacting. N/A beer has .5% alcohol in it. There are many women around the world who enjoy a glass of wine in pregancy with no adverse effects. In fact there was a very large study done recently that showed light drinking had absolutley no measureable effect on the baby (light being a few drinks a week). Seriously, one N/A beer is not going to give your baby FAS.

Here is the study: https://news.discovery.com/human/alcohol-drinking-pregnant-women.html

"The study, which found no evidence of harm from having a couple drinks a week during pregnancy, was so well done and its findings so conclusive that it ought to become the final word in the field, said Fred Bookstein, an applied statistician who studies fetal alcohol spectrum disorders at both the University of Washington, Seattle, and the University of Vienna."

"Bookstein was more forthcoming. His group in Seattle, he said, has never seen a case of damage to a child whose mother drank during pregnancy, unless she binged. He defined a binge as five or more drinks in one sitting, four or more drinks several times a month, or drinking to the point of intoxication more than once."

I personally don't drink when pregnant, but I do enjoy my N/A beer! Please please don't stress about N/A beer, stress is much worse for your baby and your friend is obviously ignorant.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this! It drives me nuts how people put the fear of everything into pregnant women. I so much appreciate science-backed findings.

SaraTF · July 2011

Non-alcoholic beer has about the same amount of alcohol in it as orange juice. Seriously, people need to lighten up. Unless you're going to chug a 12 pack, you're fine!

lisamonkee11 · July 2011

It's hot. You were at a pool party. This guy is a douche and you know what? You should be grateful it's not his baby too! I've been thouroughly enjoying my Beck's NA and O'Doul's Amber (which is surprisingly yummy) since the beginning of the summer.

You are not a monster. A little extreme on the worrying side & a little too worried about what douchey "friends" think - but certainly not a monster.

Liz4444 · July 2011

I would have dumped that n/a beer on that asshat's head!

JessieP76 · July 2011

That guy's an idiot and a jerk. Agree with all the previous posters - even if it was a real beer, it's not really his business if you're drinking one. I hate how people feel like they can judge everything we do.

capulet · July 2011

Wow, if I were in the same situation I'd be mad at DH for not standing up for me, and at his friend for being such a needlessly judgmental d-bag, especially in a situation where he was a guest of your (DH's) family.

I drank occasionally - like half a glass of wine every couple of weeks - when I was pregnant with DD, and she turned out fine. I'm doing the same in this pregnancy - I mean, I don't schedule it like, "It's the second Wednesday of the month, time for some Chianti!" but if I feel it's a special enough occasion I will have a bit to drink. I think the threshold for FAS is much higher, and of course involves consuming beverages that actually have a significant amount of alcohol. So in that sense I think you're overreacting, but as far as DH's friend goes I wouldn't want him to be invited to any more parties.

seashell_83 · July 2011

Captaintightpants:

Wow, what an idiot, I mean seriously. I'm surprised your H didn't say anything to him, I know my husband would have jumped down said dumb@ass throat if he spoke to me that way. People seem to think they always know best when it comes to Pregnancy, even when their uneducated dummies like this guy, who just seem to think they know what's best.

Don't worry, it's fine. Some pregnant women have a glass of wine from time to time, and it's fine. I'm sorry it had you so upset though.

Exactly!! The friend is a class A jerk off for acting the way he did and if someone spoke to me like that, my SO would have flipped on the person. For some reason people that have never been pregnant, man or woman, think they know better than the pregnant woman, the doctors that tell us what is/isn't ok or the docs that do studies to confirm that it's right or wrong to do/eat/drink certain things during pregnancy.

You're completely fine to have some N/A drinks and even some glasses of wine during pregnancy. Don't let the idiots get to you or make you second guess yourself.

varkeyr · July 2011

Oh man that is so funny. If he would have glared at me for it I would have gone off on him. I don't drink, but had a IBC root beer bottle in my hand during my last pregnancy while 9 months and a woman started in on me. I lost it on her. Don't mess the pregnant woman.

laurenmbride · July 2011

What an ass!

My DH would never hear the end of it, if one of his friends said that to me.

varkeyr · July 2011

Decided to do the math. For you to have the same amount of alcohol as 1 beer you need to consume 2280 bottles of Beck's . Now assuming you did not do this... I say you are fine.Throw that at him next time you meet.

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