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Two Under 2
Tell me I'm not going to be under house arrest when #2 comes
I'm due in November. I had a c/s with #1, and I'm considering a VBAC for #2 but I'm not sure if that's the way to go. I'm scared that once the new baby comes that I'm not going to be able to handle both of them by myself. I had a hard time getting out of the house without help for a while with #1, and he was born in the spring. I can only imagine how hard it will be with 2u2 and in the winter. Anyone else scared they aren't going to be able to handle 2u2 by themselves?
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Re: Tell me I'm not going to be under house arrest when #2 comes
ME ME ME!! I broke down to DH last night about this. I can offer no advice. I was thinking about posting an advice thread so everyone that has been there can offer support. I am assuming you get used to it just like with LO1. I dont know about the winter thing - I never lived in snow or near snow. I just remind myself that most families have more than 1 child and somehow they survived. And I think of my grandma who had unexpected twins for her second pregnancy and survived - quite well actually.
Good luck.
I remember recently I was with both kids at the park alone and there was another mom there who was pregnant and had a baby that was almost a year old. She was in awe that I was able to take them both out alone and was telling me how everyone had told her she wasnt going to be able to do anything with the kids alone. I cant believe people actually think that crap and tell that to other moms.
This is a common misconception of life with 2u2. You're only going to be stuck in the house 24/7 if you allow yourself to be. Of course, there's a learning curve with getting 2 kids out of the house alone. There will certainly be times where one of the kids is super fussy and you wish you stayed home. But you'll manage, and in time it will be second nature.
When the weather is really crappy, of course you dont want to take them out if you don't have to. On your "average" cold winter day, you can take the kids out to do things, whether it be to go to an indoor activity like the children's museum/story time at the library, running errands, etc.
I was terrified of this also!
When DD was about 8 days old I got a mastitis infection and needed to go to the Dr. DH was at work and I didn't have anyone else that could help me. So I took them both to the dr and then the pharmacy by myself. It was the best thing I ever did! I seriously felt like wonder woman for getting them and myself ready and somewhere at a specific time 8 days pp.
Always having a diaper bag ready helped so much. I kept one in my car with diapers, clothes, wipes, etc and a small one with a diaper for each of them, some snacks for DS and formula for DD. It's hard enough getting everyone ready and then trying to pack a bag. So it helped that if I was getting stir crazy I knew I could just grab it and go.
Also, take a shower and get dressed first thing in the morning. I know, common sense, right? I fell into the trap of "I'll take a shower when DH comes home" or stayed in my PJ's all day, because, lets face it, nothing fit and I was just going to get spit up on anyways. It's that much easier to get out and take the kids to the park or for a walk around the neighborhood when everyone is already dressed and ready.
It was really easy when DD was still in her infant blob stage of sleeping all the time. It got harder when she was too big for the infant carrier but not great at sitting in the cart. And now, I feel like I can go anywhere with them.
It's really not that bad, don't worry!
Since DS was one week old I've managed to get both kids out of the house to DD's activities 4-5 times a week. I've also taken them to Target, Costco and the grocery store by myself. Being stuck in the house everyday would seriously make me depressed. I look forward to our outings, despite DD being a difficult tantrum throwing toddler.
For me the biggest adjustment has been how long it takes to get out the door, and the fact that the house is in complete disarray when we leave. I'm working on getting more organized and I try to have everything ready the night before.
It has actually been a lot easier than I thought it would be, especially since DS is able to walk on his own. I would start now on working getting LO to hold your hand while walking with you so that by the time #2 comes it is common practice.
When getting in the car I always put #1 in the car first with the infant seat sitting next to me on the ground and then go around and put #2 in. When getting out, I get #2 out first, go around and set her on the ground and then get #1 out. That way, #1 doesn't go running off in a parking lot while I am putting #2 in or out of the car.
Like you, it took me awhile to get up the courage to go out by myself with DD. It didn't help that she was a super cranky baby and that I was spoiled because my husband only worked every other day. I just waited till his off days to go anywhere. :P
Even now, there's a little trepidation when I take her out alone. She still gets pretty impatient in the car and it's hard to deal with it when you're driving.
Anyway, all that to say, YES, I understand what you're saying. I'm nervous... but the fact is.. we'll do it because we love our kids and we have no other choice.
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This... I just took all five of mine out last week to the beach by myself. With some good planning you can go anywhere. I do have help sometimes (when my mom or DH aren't working) but being alone doesn't stop me! We don't get out every day, but a few days a week are good for me! Don't worry, give yourself an adjustment period and you will do fine