What is wrong with me

Re: What is wrong with me

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  CookieFamily

  June 2011

  I went through the exact same feelings when I first had my little guy almost nine months ago.  The way you're feeling right now so awful, but take comfort in that it is soooooo normal, especially since you just had your baby a couple weeks ago.  I would suspect that you've got the baby blues like I did.  For me, the blues were horrible for the first month, into the second month.  If you're concerned about it, call your doctor.  It happens so much more than what people say.  There is nothing wrong with you; your hormones are just going crazy.  Keep in mind you either a) won't feel this way forever because it's just the baby blues and it will go away on its own, or b) you can get help so that you feel like yourself again if it is PPD.  In the meantime, relax and take care of yourself as much as possible.  What you are going through is so difficult and one of the hardest things you will ever do, but it DOES get easier and you and your husband will adjust to this change in lifestyle.  I don't think we are fully prepared for the changes that take place, and when you're feeling so overwhelmed and just plain awful, it makes everything seem impossibly difficult and like it will always be that way.  It won't.  Call your doctor if you can't stand the way you feel.  It's totally normal and it's better not to wait to get help if you need it.

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  mmarsac member

  June 2011

  PPD and anxiety seem to go hand in hand.  It sounds like you might have a little of both.  Talk to your dr. and see what your dr says.  Sometimes the ob/gyn's don't like to deal with PPD, so if you feel like this might be the case, talk to your primary care physician. 

  I felt the same way when my LO was born.  When my Mom left to go home after staying to help for the first couple of weeks, I felt like my Mom was going to take the baby back with her.  It hit me that DD was my child then, and I totally fell apart b/c I felt so overwhelmed.  I started my meds (Lexapro and Wellbutrin) and I feel much better.  I am also building a great bond with my DD.  I hope things get better for you!
  

  

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  TaraandRichforever member

  June 2011

  I felt the exact same way, except for feeling overprotective and worrying about her when she wasnt with me. I also felt guilty about feeling that way and very depressed and incapable of taking care of myself and her. It was very overwhelming in the beginning but now at 6 weeks pp I feel like I have improved alot without any medication although I have gone to counseling a couple times and they think it is ppd. Going out and taking breaks from caring for the baby and trying to do things I normally do when I get a chance I think has helped. I dont completely feel like myself or feel like I have bonded with my daughter but it has improved. Your not alone, it will get better.

  

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  LittleGus member

  June 2011

  I don't know if you're still checking this, but I felt the EXACT same way after my DD was born.  Like she was almost a science project that I had to keep alive but no real connection. I did reach out a lot to others and found that what I was feeling was normal.  It's just hard because you feel like you have to tell everyone that you love every second and that things are going great, but the reality is that that's just not the case.  It's hard.  It's tiring.  It's a HUGE adjustment.
  

  
  Everyone told me "it will get better and a bond will grow".  I had trouble believing them but its so true.  She is just over 7 months now and I am absolutely in love with her, but it took time.  And that's okay.  

   

  Good luck.  If you want to chat about it further feel free to PM me.
  

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  ImAnRN

  July 2011

  I remember the day before I went into labor, my mom sat me down and said, "I just want you to know that when you come home with your baby, you might think, 'what the HELL did I do!?' and I want you to know that it's normal. Many women will not tell you this, but I want you to know that I'm always here for you." 

  At the time, I was thinking, 'Thanks alot mom for bursting my blissful bubble!' However, when I got home from the hospital, I DID have the same feelings you are having now. I worried constantly about my son to the point where I suffered from severe panic attacks. I never did anything about it and looking back I realize how stupid it was... Eventually, I fell back into my old routine, but this time with a baby:-) It will and does get easier, but def. mention it to your Doc.

  Good luck to you! 

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