IL vent regarding Lo and dogs-long

Rainne38 · July 2011

Mainly I am a lurker here and have never vented, but something happened tonight that has me so upset/angry that I have to get it out.

Background: DH and I have a dog and even though we are dog owners, I still believe that no matter what, an animal is an animal. I hold this belief with my own dog even though he has never bitten, nipped, or shown any aggression toward us or anyone else. DD has very limited interaction with the dog mainly because she is typically playing in one room and the dog snoozes on the couch in the other. Also, when she does pet him, I am right there and show her how to do it the gentle way.

SIL has two dogs both of which she has told us multiple times have bitten or nipped people. When DD was less mobile (i.e. us holding her on our laps) and we visited SIL, the dogs were in the room. Even on our laps, the dogs would always jump up on anyone who was holding her. It made me nervous and I always told DH I felt uncomfortable and he would tell his sister to steer them away from her. Now that DD is walking, she doesn't like to be held and I told DH that I would feel more comfortable if when we visited, the dogs were outside (they have a nice big yard the dogs play in). We were probably only going to visit for an hour or so.

As we walked in the door, the dogs were jumping and barking and my BIL told SIL to put the dogs outside because "they bite and nip." SIL refused to put the dogs out and MIL said, "oh, we'll just hold her the whole time." DH scooped up DD and we immediately left after he, many times, asked her to please put the dogs outside. DD then called an apologized for leaving in that manner, but tried to explain our concerns. SIL and MIL would hear none of it and are angry with the way we left.

UGH! Sorry so long, but I always put my dog out when I have visitors (esp my brother whose asthma acts up around the dog). So upset and now I feel like the bad guy. Were we being unreasonable?

jnk062602 · July 2011

No, I think you were right in leaving bc you have to put your own child first. If the issue is they did not want to put the dogs outside bc of the heat or bc they would be unattended or something, maybe a compromise would be to bring a couple baby gates and have them gated in a different room. But if SIL just wants the dogs in the midst of it all, then I think you handled it fine. You guys have said repeatedly your stance, they even admit themselves the dogs nip and jump, so it is really them choosing for you not to visit at their house if they can not meet you to keep it safe for your child.

dragon_chica · July 2011

jnk062602:
No, I think you were right in leaving bc you have to put your own child first. If the issue is they did not want to put the dogs outside bc of the heat or bc they would be unattended or something, maybe a compromise would be to bring a couple baby gates and have them gated in a different room. But if SIL just wants the dogs in the midst of it all, then I think you handled it fine. You guys have said repeatedly your stance, they even admit themselves the dogs nip and jump, so it is really them choosing for you not to visit at their house if they can not meet you to keep it safe for your child.

This. Your sister is dumb, ignorant, whatever you want to call her. She has admitted to them biting in the past and yet she thinks they'll be golden with your DD around? BS. Yes, it's her house and her rules but if she's not willing to part with the dogs for even an hour than I guess that means she doesn't get visits from you guys anymore.

g8trkim · July 2011

You definitely had the right to leave. That said, it kind of depends on HOW you left... was it angrily storming out or calmly expressing your concerns and explaining that you would be leaving? Either way, I don't blame you. We have 2 boxers, who are wonderful with kids. They would never jump on a child, bite, etc. However, they get really excited around adults. We always put them outside or in another room when we have guests (well most guests) until they calm down. If people come over with children we always put them away just to be respectful. We completely trust them with DS but we know it's not the same story for other people.

celiabwatson · July 2011

So, I completely agree that you did the right thing for leaving, especially given that those dogs bite. The idea of holding your toddler the whole time is ridiculous. However, we have a dog and we don't put her away for guests. We have a dog door so we can't put her in the yard because she'll just come right back in and generally speaking she throws a fit if she's away from the action and it's unpleasant for all involved. She is a wonderful dog and wouldn't hurt a fly. Most people are fine with it but I always make sure to mention her when we invite people over. So, I also see the not wanting to put your dog(s) away perspective, but if your dog(s) are dangerous or can't contain themselves then maybe you need to come up with a solution.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · July 2011

I would have left too, especially with knowing that those two dogs have bitten before.

abrazz · July 2011

Ugh, my brother's friend was bit on the face by a dog when he was little and the scars are awful. It can happen in a blink of eye and by dogs that have shown no aggression in the past let alone by dogs that are known to bite. I think your SIL is being very very selfish. I would bring pics of dog bites to show them maybe some shock therapy would work. If it didn't then I wouldn't go over there either. I would be a nervous wreck the whole time.

melody921 · July 2011

There is nothing wrong with how you and your DH acted. They were irresponsible to not put the dogs somewhere away from your DD. We have a dog who has shown aggression in the past -- never outright biting, but growling at stranger, especially men -- so we are extra cautious about animals and children. When new people come over, he is outside or in the basement. What would they do if a dog bit your DD?

Want a personalized experience?

IL vent regarding Lo and dogs-long

Re: IL vent regarding Lo and dogs-long

Choose Another Board

Search Boards