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2nd baby, is it appropriate to have a shower?
So, I just had a baby 11 months ago, and I still have tons and tons of things. I need a few things, but they are all big things. Like a swing (cause the one for my son doesn't swing anymore) and a double stroller, & a crib. With my DS I only got a hand full of things off of my registry and so I'm kinda skeptical that this time I won't get what I need, and the last thing I need (unless it's a girl) is more clothes! I have boxes and boxes of clothes, and girls can wear boy clothes as far as I'm concerned lol, but what are your thoughts?
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Re: 2nd baby, is it appropriate to have a shower?
First, someone has to offer to throw one. If no one does, then you haev your answer.
If someone does offer, it's up to you to accept or not. If you do accept, though, i would keep it VERY small. As in truly your closest family and friends only - the people who you kind of expect would want to get you something a little small anyhow. This is not an event to invite every last person you've ever known or invited to your first shower.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Most people on here are going to say showers for second babies are not appropriate (including me). You know your family and friends best. If it is normal in your circle to have 2nd showers and someone is offering to host one for you then go ahead and have one. In that case it really doesn't matter how close your kids are or the genders. You will get a few people that will give you the side-eye even if it is normal in your circle.
As far as what you need...keep in mind that most people who have showers for subsequent babies don't register and most guests don't spend as much as they would for a first baby. If someone IS offering to host a shower and if it is someone close to your (your mom or your sister) you can always have them spread the word what you are really looking for (needing) like the double stroller and crib and swing. If you don't get those things you can always just look at moms to moms sales, yard sales, 2nd hand shops, craigs list, etc.
I didn't have a shower for my second but we did host our own Meet the Baby BBQ. My good friend knew we needed a 2nd monitor for his room and got us that. Most everyone got us clothes (it is still nice to have brand new clothes for the brand new baby - even if same sex like in our case), diapers, toys and books.
Quoting from Miss Manners...
DEAR MISS MANNERS -- I have been invited to a baby shower for a friend's second child. The first one is just turning 2 years old. I always thought baby showers were for your first child and you used the baby items again for your second child. To me it seems they are begging for gifts.
My daughter claims this is the norm these days. What is your opinion?
GENTLE READER -- That your daughter is right: Begging for gifts is normal these days. It is also vulgar, of course. You are also right that baby showers are supposed to be for the expectation of a baby's appearing in a household not already over-run with baby equipment.
But Miss Manners makes an exception for an informal gathering of the expectant mother's close friends who are moved to make a fuss over her a second -- or fifth -- time. However, the plea that a more formal gathering for the lady's entire acquaintance, complete with those detestable gift registries, would enable the guest of honor to parcel out her shopping is not charming.
I absolutely agree...I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone that would say a 2nd shower when your first child is 11 months old is appropriate or tactful. I told my sister straight out that it was tacky for her to throw her own 2nd shower when her son was 2 and that I would not attend.
It's very gift grabby and other people should not be expected to buy even the large items for your child. That is your responsibility as a parent.
Resale shops and craig's list should help you find something in your price range.