Why TTC sucks! (complete vent)

Rawr08 · July 2011

1. New girl at work (20y/o) is KTFU, had to step away today to throw up, all I could think is: "I wish that was me"

2. I can't talk to anyone IRL about DH's SA, which makes dealing with it that much harder.

3. DH's ego is destroyed due to said SA, I haven't even had time to "deal with it" for myself, I have been too busy making him feel better.

4. Old room-mates found out they are having a boy. BARF on my FB feed that is filled with pics from their "reveal party", in which a random baker made them a colored cake, it was all a surprise until they cut into it and saw the blue cake. Of course it was her Birthday too...

5. I don't know if a RE will see me, let alone attempt any sort of treatments because of my weight. Which depresses me and I eat more...

6. I am so fvcking sick of people telling me I need to have a baby. Telling me to hurry up, I'm not getting any younger... you all know what they say.

7. I hate that I have a gift card to BRU in my wallet that I can not use, and may never get to use. I guess I could use it for #4's crappy baby shower, but I don't wanna! **Stamps feet**

8. I wish I could be one of those women who don't want to have kids. How do they do that? How do they just NOT WANT to have kids!? I don't get it.

So girls, why does TTC suck for you?

PS- Thanks for letting me biitch!

EntropicEpona · July 2011

Ugh. That just sounds like a giant pile of suck. TTC is awful in sooooo many ways, and you don't even realize most of them until they smack you in the face.

As for #5? Don't worry about it. My RE doesn't have a problem with my weight at all. It's not contributing to any endocrine disorders or any other reproductive-related issues, so it's a total non-event. Aside from having to do my egg retrieval in an OR it's never affected anything IF-wise.

cutebride73 · July 2011

Oh hun - I just want to give you ((((hugs)))).

You know sometimes I really wonder how people can not want kids either, my brother and SIL are those people. After they got married they just decided they didn't want them and she was on the pill for years and then she didn't want to be on it anymore and so my brother got fixed. I don't understand it at all. I see a baby at Target and it can bring me to tears. It would certainly be easier if those that didn't want kids were the ones who were infertile. Too bad it doesn't work that way. ::sigh::

Also, I am somewhat overweight and my RE hasn't said anything or had any issues. I hope that you don't either!!

saramichelle32 · July 2011

It sucks for me because my sil and brother are preggo with their second baby (that they had no problem at all ttc with) and this is after they went on and on that one kid was enough and two kids was too many. found out the week after my d and c that they were ku. my bro kept acting really weird when i talked to him and then basically started ignoring me. which hurt my feelings since i had had a mc like the week before. i told my mom about it and she said he prob felt awkward because they are having their second kid. then she flipped out because she wasn't supposed to tell and tried to make me promise not to say anything because they would be SO UPSET that she told me when she wasn't supposed to. wasn't upset that i was upset about them being ku just that they would get mad at her for telling me. my bro hasn't even checked in with me once since then to see how i am doing or anything. I think we all need hugs!

LilMaggs · July 2011

*hugs*

TTC sucks for me because I can't enjoy sex anymore. It's not fun, and TTA hasn't fixed that. 3 years of trying-for-a-take-home-baby hell and I just can't enjoy myself anymore. I might start out into it, but I never end into it... Our sex life used to be amazing, and now it's nothing. DH is patient, but I know it's killing him.

I'm also frustrated with family members who act like ttc should be no big deal since we have two boys. They keep up with the "but you had two kids, so nothing should be wrong with you" babble. I don't know what's wrong, the RE doesn't know what's wrong, and I'm thinking that it's just time to give up. If they haven't found sh!t, maybe I should just quit wishing for take-home baby #3, and accept that it isn't going to happen. I get so sick of comments about how we should be working on it, and people who act like God must be punishing us for something or we wouldn't have these issues. This is a huge reason for our current TTA period. I need time to reevaluate, rethink what I want out of life, and question whether baby #3 is really something to continue trying for. It sounds awful, but I'm really questioning if I'm even willing to continue trying at this point.

I used to be able to lurk on PgAL, but seeing women I remember from my early days on the board being 38+ weeks/bringing home their baby is agonizing to me. Why can't it be me? I'm happy for them, but seriously dying inside for me. The main board is super hard for me to be on, as most of the people I knew from when I joined are long gone. I'm not even sure I belong here, since we've decided to TTA for now.

My SIL planned her wedding and had two kids in the time we've been trying. What the hell is wrong with me?

Rawr08 · July 2011

LilMaggs:

It sounds awful, but I'm really questioning if I'm even willing to continue trying at this point.

I used to be able to lurk on PgAL, but seeing women I remember from my early days on the board being 38+ weeks/bringing home their baby is agonizing to me. Why can't it be me? I'm happy for them, but seriously dying inside for me. The main board is super hard for me to be on, as most of the people I knew from when I joined are long gone. I'm not even sure I belong here, since we've decided to TTA for now.

*hugs* ALL of this is how I am feeling. I want to continue to TTC, but knowing we will not conceive on our own kills me.

I did a GBCB post on TTCAL a little bit ago, I am just in a different place now. I made an intro on the IF board, I hang out there a little, but I love you ladies.

I hope we can all get through this together....

GuppyAmy · July 2011

TTC sucks a lot. It's not fair! I work with a girl who is 20 and got pregnant from a one night stand and the dad wants nothing to do with the baby, we all have stories. It's been said before but I totally feel this process is a gigantic roller coasters of suck with people throwing rocks at you on the way. I know personally, I had to just say "really? REALLY? How is it even possible that half of my department is pregnant?" Good luck honey. I'm sorry.

butterfly843 · July 2011

((hugs)) it all really sucks. My family tries to tell me my favorite - Relax and it will happen, maybe for them but not for me. Today at a bbq I see all these parents not even watching their kids (young kids about 1.5-2) and it's like they expected everyone around to babysit for them. Sucks at work because I always see so many pg women and and small kids and some days it feels like a knife to the heart.

pandapepperoni · July 2011

(((hugs))) to you all. For me it's the relax and it will happen, you have been pregnant before so there is no reason to think you won't be again. Those commets drive me fvcking nuts. It's been YEARS people, so there is reason to think it may not happen again. I can accept it, why can't you?

I just feel so consumed all the time. From CD1 to the end I am doing something to try to somehow control this uncontrollable issue. I can't even envision a time when I won't be trying.....it's just become a part of my life.

suntoto · July 2011

Hugs. IF and TTC suck so much all around.

As for your DH and sperm, men are proud of the swimmers and it is always a kick in the crotch to them, if they discover they might be part of the problem. I went through something similar with my DH at the beginning of our journey. He had some craptastic SA's. Turned out that is smoking was half the problem. The other part was vitamins. I got him on them and he stopped smoking and he had rock star SA's after that. (Then it was discovered that my tubes are crap, so yeah...) Has your DH seen a urologist yet? That could be helpful...

Rawr08 · July 2011

suntoto:

Hugs. IF and TTC suck so much all around.

As for your DH and sperm, men are proud of the swimmers and it is always a kick in the crotch to them, if they discover they might be part of the problem. I went through something similar with my DH at the beginning of our journey. He had some craptastic SA's. Turned out that is smoking was half the problem. The other part was vitamins. I got him on them and he stopped smoking and he had rock star SA's after that. (Then it was discovered that my tubes are crap, so yeah...) Has your DH seen a urologist yet? That could be helpful...

DH & I both smoke, we need to knock it off. We both know we need to stop, but for some reason we haven't yet... there is always an excuse right? Hmm

I am going to make an appointment with a RE tomorrow, the group Entropic mentioned in another post of mine has a urologist who specializes in infertility so hopefully we can at least see him just in case they wont touch me due to my weight issues. Yes I am fat & I smoke - you think I would be a FH with all of those issues!

Cissi64 · July 2011

I agree with everything every body says. I really agree with "why can't the people who don't want kids be the infertile ones" but I'd also like to add all the horrible parents to that group also. I also hate when people tell you or imply (after you've had a loss) that you should give up becauseyou already have kids and you should be content with what you have. FWIW I also got the "be content" comment before we adopted our 3 oldest....like you should never want anything else or work to try and get it.

I don't really post here anymore because we aren't TTC anymore, but I lurk and I think about and pray for you guys

Rawr08 · July 2011

Cissi64:

I agree with everything every body says. I really agree with "why can't the people who don't want kids be the infertile ones" but I'd also like to add all the horrible parents to that group also. I also hate when people tell you or imply (after you've had a loss) that you should give up becauseyou already have kids and you should be content with what you have. FWIW I also got the "be content" comment before we adopted our 3 oldest....like you should never want anything else or work to try and get it.

I don't really post here anymore because we aren't TTC anymore, but I lurk and I think about and pray for you guys

I LOVE that quote in your siggy!!! If I wasn't at work I would be tearing up!

*hugs*

suntoto · July 2011

Rawr08:
suntoto:

Hugs. IF and TTC suck so much all around.

As for your DH and sperm, men are proud of the swimmers and it is always a kick in the crotch to them, if they discover they might be part of the problem. I went through something similar with my DH at the beginning of our journey. He had some craptastic SA's. Turned out that is smoking was half the problem. The other part was vitamins. I got him on them and he stopped smoking and he had rock star SA's after that. (Then it was discovered that my tubes are crap, so yeah...) Has your DH seen a urologist yet? That could be helpful...

DH & I both smoke, we need to knock it off. We both know we need to stop, but for some reason we haven't yet... there is always an excuse right?

I am going to make an appointment with a RE tomorrow, the group Entropic mentioned in another post of mine has a urologist who specializes in infertility so hopefully we can at least see him just in case they wont touch me due to my weight issues. Yes I am fat & I smoke - you think I would be a FH with all of those issues!

Well, maybe you can use the scare of a craptastic SA to get him to stop. Seriously, once DH quit his numbers went up drastically. The craptastic SA worked enough to scare my DH...so... maybe...

Hugs, IF and TTC messes with your head and you always internalize a lot with it. I know I did. I truly wish there was a magic wond that you could wave and make things better, but there isn't.

EclairAngst · July 2011

Oh hun I'm so sorry. I hate this sh!t. Reading what you and others are going through makes me hate it 10x more than I already do, sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

Hate hate HATE it!!!

I'm not posting anywhere very often lately - we're technically TTA, but not because well, I just can't even bring myself to have sex. Does that count as TTA? I dunno. It's eff-ed up.

So I do a lot of lurky lurking to try and keep up with the ladies I know. Thinking I might start trying to make a home here and say goodbye to regular flavor TTCAL too. It's been a year. I can only look at so many charts.

Rawr08 · July 2011

EclairAngst:

So I do a lot of lurky lurking to try and keep up with the ladies I know. Thinking I might start trying to make a home here and say goodbye to regular flavor TTCAL too. It's been a year. I can only look at so many charts.

This is me! I am so sick of giving advice to the newbs over on TTCAL, then they get KU and leave.

EclairAngst · July 2011

wickedsugar:
Rawr08:
EclairAngst:

So I do a lot of lurky lurking to try and keep up with the ladies I know. Thinking I might start trying to make a home here and say goodbye to regular flavor TTCAL too. It's been a year. I can only look at so many charts.

This is me! I am so sick of giving advice to the newbs over on TTCAL, then they get KU and leave.

OMG yes! I know that's the point but ugh. I do feel a little bad because TTCAL has seemed pretty slow lately and I feel like I should stick around more like some of the other oldies did when I was just jumping in. But seriously, I sometimes feel like a person is KTFU before I get a chance to even reply to a chart stalk request!

Yup Yup.. I agree !

mdm2137 · July 2011

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Sending hugs.

csquared426 · July 2011

((HUGE HUGS))

I think TTC and IF sucks for me, because I know I will never have that "innocent" feeling again when I get PG. Like I'm untouchable and everything will be just fine. I had that feeling ripped from me over 2 years ago now, after my first m/c with D&C. Now every time I get PG, all I can think about is, "when am I going to lose this one?"

It really, really sucks big hairy pickles.

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