VBAC fail, but okay with it

If you remember I had the NST and biophysical profile which showed low fluid levels.  I refused to even begin to think about RCS until after they tested again.  I went the next morning (41 weeks 1 day) which I know wasn't enough time to really raise any fluid levels, but I went anyway. 

There was almost no fluid (test showed I was at a 2 and that was generous).  Since I went to a group of midwives with 2 OB/GYNs to a birth center I knew their stance on c-sections.  They don't like them, they have the highest vaginal birth and lowest c-section rate in the state.  I chose them because I knew if I wanted a VBAC, they'd be the ones to do it.  The doc spoke with me for about 35-40 minutes about my options.  I was not dialted at all and was still 50% effaced (which I was since week 38).  They couldn't give me any meds to induce and she couldn't even break my water to get things started because I wasn't dialted.  Since the baby wasn't in distress I wasn't in any rush.  But she said that since they were a birthing center and not a hospital she was nervous about how the baby would do during labor.  She's seen a lot of cord compression issues and babies not tolerate labor well when fluid has been low a while.  OB said that I would probably be fine to go a few days with no issues, but since I haven't been progressing at all, I would probably be in the same boat in a few days. 

She discussed my fears about RCS (emotional ones ie: feeling like a failure again and physical ones: clots, etc). We talked about what I didn't get past from last c/s at a different practice- my lack of trust in medical field, being lied to, etc.  My mom brought up the fact that studies were done at John Hopkins to show that women with low fluid were able to deliver perfectly normal babies.  OBs fear was that was a hospital with more technology in case a bad situation arises and an emergency c/s has more risks than non-emergency one.

I told her I wanted to make sure I did everything in my power to avoid a RCS so I wouldn't feel that guilt again.  I asked every question possible.  My mom asked every question possible.  My nurse asked OB the questions I couldn't think of to ask. 

I finally consented to RCS but cried the entire time.  I cried walking down the hall, I sobbed on the table getting epidural, I cried while they were operating.  The women were wonderful.  They all had babies and some had 2 c/s and were SO incredibly supportive.  They didn't tie my hands down like they did with DS1.  They let DH take pictures and look while they performed c/s, they talked to me about how I was feeling.  When DS born and let out that first cry I was at such peace.  I knew I did all I could to get him into this world via VBAC, but his little cry made me know I did the right thing.  I denied eye drops and they put him right on my chest, skin to skin right after birth.  No warming table, nothing.  Just me, DH and new LO.  It was the best feeling in the world.  While they were sewing me back up a nurse ran into OB and screamed for the crash cart for a woman trying for a VBAC.  She needed emergency c/s and I was in the ONLY operating room in the birthing center.  She was rushed out to another room.  My mom told me that she saw the woman and heard her screaming for help.  It was a really scary thing to hear, but DH said that after hearing that, I made the right choice. 

OB said there was almost no fluid at all when she did RCS and he was still really high.   

Keegan Reece was born at 9:09 am and weighed 8lbs 6oz.  He was 19 1/2 inches long and so completely water logged from being a late baby.  He is absolutely adorable and we went home shortly after (RCS Thurs. went home Sat. morn).  They wanted me to stay until Monday, but I missed DS1 so much I just wanted to get home. 

I am feeling great and did some gardening with Keegan in his ergo this morning.  I don't feel any regret for my decision because of how things were handled this time.