Day care Ladies who have no family in state

romigu · July 2011

I'm visiting day cares and I am starting to realize that the sick policy is pretty strict. Unfortunately, we have zero family here and can't count on any friends in an emergency. Sad, I know but we've only lived here for 3 years. My husband's PT school is 30 min south of where we live and I work 30 min north for 7 shifts in a row and then I have 7 days off in a row. Can you help me brainstorm a backup plan? I would rather not get a nanny because it's so expensive but I cant leave work to pick up my child. I am a hospital medicine doctor and if I'm taking call there is no one that is there for back up. Any ideas?

Topi-Jan · July 2011

I'm not sure if you are looking for a backup plan on picking up from DC if they call you or generally where to leave baby if they can't go to DC and you can't stay home.

I don't have a brilliant solution to situation #1...we just tell the daycare that we will do what we can to coordinate and will try to be there within the hour. Then we start calling each other to see who can work things out better (I work closer than DH, but I'm a teacher and it's hard to get coverage and lesson plans for the day set up with no notice).

If one of us absolutely can't stay home we have discovered that a couple of the local hospitals near our jobs have drop in daycares for sick kids (other drop-in places obviously don't want sick kids either). It is more expensive, but they charge hourly so we leave them in there for as short/long as we need (i.e. to cover a meeting and go back home). The are taken care of by nurses who actually do things like give them medicine, monitor fevers, etc. They divide them into different areas by age group and when you call to see if they have room, they will tell you if anyone has a fever/might be more contagious so you can decide to go accordingly. Does your hospital or one nearby offer something like that? The seem to all have cutesy names like "Coughs and cuddles" or something similar. :-)

RanBer · July 2011

We are sort of in a similar position, but it is easy for my husband or I to take off than it sounds like it is for you. My suggestion would be to ask around if anyone you work with our your husband works with has family in town that would be a back up if you needed them (Aunts, grandmas, etc). My mom did this for my sister and I when we were in school, and the lady that would pick us up and watch us became like a third grandma to me.

beachdweller1 · July 2011

You don't want a nanny at all or you don't want a nanny for sick days? We use an in-home daycare, then have a 'back up' nanny we formed a relationship with that will pick up kiddo for us in a pinch. We pay her by the hour. We found her from a friend of a friend. She is awesome and takes great care of DD when she is sick. I just had to use her 3 days last week when kiddo was sick. It is expensive when you are paying both daycare and a nanny, but makes sick days a lot easier to handle and hopefully does not happen too often.

azuremama · July 2011

A nanny might not help anyhow because you'd have no one to cover if the nanny is sick. Can you ask around to coworkers or neighbors to see if they know anyone willing to sit in an emergency? Can your husband take off?

madhatter2003 · July 2011

We have a few back-up people we call but definitely plan ahead and have more than 1 in case they are busy, etc.

But most days one of us just goes home for the rest of the day....luckily my kids don't get sick that often.

DoughGirl · July 2011

We're in the same boat, no family close to us. We have lots of SAHM friends, but who wants to watch someone else's sick kids and risk your own getting sick, KWIM?

DH and pretty much save a big chunk of our PTO to use as sick days for DS. If he is sick for 2 days, we take turns staying home so that we each only use 1 day. It stinks, but what can you do?

mylittlesunshine · July 2011

We are in almost the same boat. I am very fortunate to have a lots of time off that I can use if DD gets sick. However, I know that if we were in your same boat, I would look to our neighbors to help us.

5de5 · July 2011

My ILs take care of DD, but when they are traveling (or they are sick) we didn't have much of a backup. I interviewed a bunch of people from care.com and found 5 that I like that are available on short notice, and for occasional care. I would suggest something like that.
I chose 5 people so chances are at least one will be available when we need them.

PhaseThreeOfLife · July 2011

Same boat for us, too. I do have a friend I could count on in a pinch, but she doesn't have a car seat in her car, so it doesn't do me much good anyway.

Ryan has had a lot of health issues, and we've had to pick him up a LOT. I used to work about 45 mintues from daycare, which was brutal. I now work about 10 minutes away, so it's been easier the past couple of months. When they call and say he has to be picked up, we coordiate and determine who can more easily leave work. So far, it's always worked out that one of us is able to get away. And our bosses are very understanding. We've been lucky. I don't know what we'll do in the occasion that he has to be picked up and neither of us can go...

Let me know what you decide. I need a plan B, too.

romigu · July 2011

beachdweller1:
You don't want a nanny at all or you don't want a nanny for sick days? We use an in-home daycare, then have a 'back up' nanny we formed a relationship with that will pick up kiddo for us in a pinch. We pay her by the hour. We found her from a friend of a friend. She is awesome and takes great care of DD when she is sick. I just had to use her 3 days last week when kiddo was sick. It is expensive when you are paying both daycare and a nanny, but makes sick days a lot easier to handle and hopefully does not happen too often.

I wouldn't want a full time nanny but I didn't know you could have one for sick days. that might work..

romigu · July 2011

mbenit4:
You may want to interview sitters from like care.com about picking up and watching them on sick days.

i've heard about this website. Thanks! How far ahead should I start to do this...i'm due around Thanksgiving and won't need childcare until April

JJ1973 · July 2011

We've had an awful time with this, this past year. Our LO must have been sick about 10 times (at least) requiring us to stay home with him. I've heard that sittercity.com has a system for more urgent babysitting/care requests. I haven't gone there or used it (I just feel weird about having a completely new person take care of LO when he is ill), but that would be our plan if we absolutely had to do so.

kar5162 · July 2011

You might want to look into local nanny services too. My employer provides a back-up care option, through either daycares or nannies for well children or nannies for sick children. The nannies are all sourced through services though which are available to the general public as well. It's expensive, but not a terrible option for days when you really can't stay home.

lewis514 · July 2011

Agree with PPs. You can also check with the daycare providers. Many of the teachers at DD's center babysit on their days off for extra money. For us, it's a win-win because most know DD and I know they are qualified and have been through background checks, etc.

romigu · July 2011

thanks everyone!

duchess0727 · July 2011

Try care.com - they have something called Care on Call which is local sitters who are available at the last minute to watch kids (sick or otherwise). We had to use that two weeks ago when my daughter had chicken pox and we got a bunch of applicants and were able to find a great sitter for back up care.

ai&Jas · July 2011

DH and I take turns with who stays home with our DD. Mind you, I do have a more flexible schedule and can WAH, so i normally take her, unless I have meetings, or have taken it 2-3 times in a short period of time ie within a month. I was off a lot during the first 2 years, but now (knock on wood!), its much less. We don't have family close by or any friends who can take her, unless its a real emergency.

KathrynMD · July 2011

Those back up sick nannies are a good idea, but I'd be very leery of leaving my LO w/ a stranger when she's sick.

What's the downside if you have to leave work to care for your LO? I don't work a 7 day shift, but surely you can't be the only person that might have something come up that you need to handle immediately?

madladybride · July 2011

We don't have family close by, so DH and I will take off when LO is sick. (I've had to pick her up from DCP 1x so far and she's been sick once.) I have the more flexible schedule, so that is what I do.

We also have to list an emergency person and we have two people listed. One is our SAHM friend who has 4 kids of her own and one is a childless friend who works 5 minutes from DCP. We asked them if they could do it in an EMERGENCY, i.e. the kid needs to be picked up in 1 hr. We leave a carseat at DCP, for now. The plan is that the emergency contact would pick the kid up, but we would go home asap to watch DD.

Is there anyway that you could tag team your shifts watching LO, i.e. your DH works 8-2 and you work 3-11, so each of you could take a turn watching your child?

charmgal · July 2011

I can sympathize with this. We have no family in state and my husband is a doctor (resident) so I understand that you just can't pick up and leave work. I can be flexible and leave work early if I need to pick up one of our kids, but the problem is when they STAY sick for a long time. We've had two bouts of a GI bug since DD#1 was born, and unlike adults, who recover in 24-48 hours, it can take forever to resolve in infants/toddlers. I could not take DD#1 back to daycare while she had diarrhea, which continued for 7 days. My mom had to fly out to help, since I'm an attorney and could not take an entire week off unplanned. It's a huge pain. Since that time, my husband's hospital has started a mildly sick kids care facility that we can take them to in a pinch, although I agree with the previous poster, who indicated that it's not optimal to leave your sick child in the care of a stranger. They are very very needy when they're sick and leaving them with unfamiliar people is hard on them. I don't do it unless it's absolutely necessary. And to be honest, daycare kids get sick A LOT in the first two years. I've taken more time off work since having kids then I did in the previous decade. Sorry there's no easy answer to this. It would be great to have family/a close friend to rely on.

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