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Cloth Diapering
DesignsOnYou
member
So, I've got a flameful confession
DesignsOnYou
member
I fully expect this to make some passionate CD'ers a little irritated, but here it goes.
We've been in disposables for almost a week now... and I've really liked it.
We haven't had one leak or poopslosion. With cloth, I have yet to find a nighttime solution that either a.) won't leak at least a little bit by morning or b.) won't stink to high heaven with what I can only describe as dirty gym sock smell. I assume this is the microfiber I stuff the pockets with.
I've tried prefolds w/ Thirsties cover or Flips, Flips with Stay-dry inserts, Thirsties Fab Fitteds, GMD Fitteds w/snaps and Kawaii Pure & Natural pockets.
The whole reason we've been using disposables all week is because this red mark appeared as posted about here: (by the way, it's still there)https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/55064474.aspx
It's not the first time a red mark from any one of the diapers has appeared and taken a LONG time to clear up. People who hold her always make a comment like, "don't those hurt her?" or "those look really tight on her legs" but there is no way to avoid this without either exposing a prefold outside the cover or causing a gap in another kind of diaper. It makes me feel terrible because in fact it doesn't look comfortable.
People mention she holds herself very stiff when they hold her. I've realized this week when in a 'sposie, she's not stiff when people hold her and is generally more wiggly and active. It's as if the bulkiness of the diaper holds her back a little bit.
I am not exaggerrating when I say I've literally spent hours upon hours researching cloth diapers. I've read back so many pages on this board several months back I feel like I know quite a bit but I still don't have solutions for the problems I've had.
For example, posters come here and ask how disposables hold up to cloth. The normal responses seem to be:
"Pretty much the same except you have to wash them." I've come to find, that's just not true. For starters, they're much bulkier. If you use cotton prefolds, baby will feel very wet immediately. If you use Stay-Dry / synthetic fabrics, you will have to combat stink. You have to be careful how you wash, what detergent you use, etc.
I'm not exactly sure what the point of this post is except to vent my frustration. I feel like I've put in so much time trying to find something that works that I really like and I still haven't . At this point, spending another dime is depressing and not to mention my husband will want to kill me.
There were a few weeks there where I felt like I was finally getting into a groove and feeling more comfortable with cloth diapering. I loved how little waste we were producing, I loved that LO hasn't had a single rash or blowout during the day but that love has faded a bit now with the leg marks and the general unsatisfaction I've experienced finding a diaper that fits well, doesn't leak and doesn't stink.
We've been using Huggies Pure & Natural this week. I actually really like these stupid, really expensive diapers. I actually calculated how much it would be if we used these all the times and it's really sad.
The whole reason I wanted to start using cloth for LO#2 was because of the obscene amount of rashes, leaks and blowouts I had with LO#1. Also, it kind of lines up with my mentality about living as "naturally" as possible.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I'm pretty discouraged and not really sure where I want to go from here 
"If you find a mate in life, you should be loyal. In your case, grateful."
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So, I've got a flameful confession
If you want some help or have questions let us know and we'll try to help. If you want to tell us how bad cloth diapers are for babies and how they hold them back and how much better Huggies is you might not find this to be the most receptive board for that (although I am sure there are some baords where plenty of mamas would agree with you). If you want to say we're being untruthful to people when we say that CD are similar to sposies excpet you have more luandry I think there are people who will disagree with you (some people have obviusly found that to be their experience - for me personally, CDs are the same as sposies but more laundry, AND easier in some ways like fewer trips to the store. But that's MY experience).
I am sorry you are furstrated with CDs and CDs certainly aren't going to be an option that everyone chooses. I don't think anyone is going to flame you for choosing sposies over CD - that is a choice everyone gets to make (jsut like I don't like it when people criticize me for using CD). To each their own. The stuff about CD holding babies back and such, well that might be a different story!
History of IF and 2.5 years TTC. The day we were to start our first IUI we received a call that changed our lives forever and 10 month old Olivia joined our family. Shortly thereafter we got a surprise BFP and baby 2 is due July 5, 2012
I don't know what to tell you.
You might just have sensitive babies who will have issues no matter what you put on their butt. It doesn't sound like you had much luck with disposables either, the first go round.
You gotta do what you gotta do to make you and your LO happy. If it's sposies, great, if it's cloth great. ETA: Don't go looking for ridiculous answers to justify your choices though. It's been proven that CD babies don't experience any motor delay because of their diapers, so... quit spreading false information.
Nothing has to be "all or nothing." We cloth diaper during the day and use disposables at night. Lately, when we leave the house, we use disposables. Sometimes we'll use cloth out and about, but I sometimes, I have enough to do with getting three kids ready to leave the house without having to throw in the whole - which cloth diapers/wet bag/etc. do I take? I know it's not that much more planning, but when I'm in a hurry - it just adds a bit more stress.
I used Kawaii once or twice on Natalie, and one time it left a big red welt on her leg. It was because it was on too tight. I really don't like flip, either.
So far, I'm really liking the grovia for during the day and I've just discovered that I really like their disposable inserts for out and about. I also really like fitteds for nap time. The fitteds with wool also worked great at night, but I just don't like cloth diapering at night anymore.
I think from here, a cloth diaper break is fine. Then, when you feel like and if you feel like it, cloth diaper part time.
eta: one thing to consider, is that maybe the cloth diapers you chose just aren't a good fit for your little one? Certain cloth diapers definitely fit my two in cloth differently.
I'm definitely not bad-mouthing CD or trying to backdoor promote 'sposies. I just feel like I'm missing something as my experience has still not lived up to what I was hoping for. There is a lot to love about CD'ing which is the whole reason I wanted to try it and would love to keep going.
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
First, I'm sorry that you've found CDing to be so frustrating. I wouldn't want to use diapers that I thought were hurting my child either. If you're interested in troubleshooting, then we can try to help you, but I'm not going to push my opinion on you if you've decided you're not interested. I do want to address two things, since you brought them up: bulk and laundry. Yes, CDs are bulkier, and I believe it's been shown that they do hold babies back from milestones - by a couple of weeks on average. To me, that's not a large enough gap to really worry about. And with regards to laundry, it can be challenging for some people/situations, but we've been CDing for 6 months now with no issues, and that is an area where the board can be very helpful with troubleshooting.
Some people try CDing and love it. Some try it, struggle, but stick with it. Some decide to CD part time, and some decide it's not for them or their family. Only you can make that decision.
I'm sorry you haven't had a good experience with cloth
I can imagine how frustrating it is to deal with leaks or stink issues.
I was sort of pushed into cloth diapering because DD has super sensitive skin. As a NB she started developing a rash with disposable diapers. And just a month ago I put one on her for an hour and had the biggest poop explosion ever. I guess what I'm saying is that different people have different experiences with both cloth and disposables and I'm not sure why that is.
I'm like you, we thought about cloth before she was born because it fits in with our lifestyle. I dislike waste and chemicals in sposies and I guess I'm lucky that CDing has worked out for us. But we've gone through changes in our diapers and routine.. and it took trying different things to get to where we are at with coth diapering.
I wish there was something more inspirational I could tell you. If you ever need to brainstorm or problem solve any issues I'm happy to help!
I'm sorry your feeling so discouraged.
I actually just use cloth during the day, and disposables at night. In the end, I think you just use what works. I think any mama, cloth or disposable using, will tell you that. Chin up. : )
Exactly this!!!
I think you will feel this way until you find something that works for you. Disposables are honestly the same way. You could try one brand and then another and then maybe the third brand finally works. I made my own pockets while I was pregnant intending to CD from the start. They were too big, too loose, leaked, etc. So I got frustrated and annoyed and started using disposables. Then my friend gave me a small BG AIO and the fit was fantastic. I ordered more BG's OS and some FB's. BG's worked and FB's always leaked. Then I just started trying stuff. Buy new things, sell things I didnt like, repeat...I think he was about 4-5 months before I got a good system going.
I'd say- If you are taking a break anyway, use the disposables, sell off what you dont like and maybe reinvest the money in a customizable trial package. Then you can try some more different types of diapers like fitteds or a different pocket maybe. If you're still not happy then just make the switch. I think you have to do what is right for your family!
We use prefolds with thirsties covers, and I noticed the "too tight" thing on the first day-- so I just don't make them very tight with the snappi--
the waist is fitting, but i go ahead and leave some gaps at the legs-- its more comfy on her and the couple of blowouts that got to the legs never made it past the thirsties cover
And she kicks like crazy!
I'm sorry you are having a frustrating time. When I first started using cloth, I was very frustrated because I had pee leaks all the time (NEVER had pee leaks in sposies) and they were causing red marks on his legs.
I since found it was mostly user error on why he was having pee leaks. I found the diapers that work best on my kid. I realize that can be expensive to troubleshoot, but I lucked out on only having to try a few kinds (the refundable trial I did was very beneficial). I also did find that some diapers more than others caused red marks. I just sold one on this board that wasn't fitting him well and was causing red marks that weren't going away.
And CDs can not possibly hold kids back on their motor skills in any worthwhile measurable amount. I don't even want to use the word developmental because it's really only gross motor skills that you are speculating would be delayed, and even that's a stretch. Are we forgetting sposies are a relatively *new* invention? I was a CD baby, as I'm sure many of us were. So it's not like CDs are a new-fangled thing that are holding all these babies back from crawling early.
Anyhoo, sorry it didn't work out for you. There's nothing wrong with using disposables if that's what works best for your family.
The two men in my life. Oh, and I have a husband too...
My favorite cloth diaper shop!
The only suggestion I have is that if you have a CD store in your area, I'd bring your LO to see if someone there may be able to troubleshoot your problems with you. Not sure if you have any locals or not. It seems as though you are having a fit problem. I can tell you that a few weeks ago, our BG 4.0's were working amazing and then when my son got a little bigger, I found that I really loved my GroVia's. They are our go to diaper now. The fit is not as snug and they are not bulky. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a lot of tries with different brands to get what works best for your family.
GL with whatever your decision is.
So I went backa nd looked at your original post (I read it the other day). I got this too when we were using prefolds. I don't really know why - but we did. In fact she got red all over down there, but especially at the legs. It was mostly during overnight when the pee was on her for a long time, but it couldnt' clear up in the day b/c she was still in prefolds. I started doing fleece lienrs and that helped with the general redness, but the legs were still red. So.... we dont' use prefolds anymore. BG4.0s have worked great for us.
If you want to keep trying, I'm sure lots of mamas will give you suggestions (for example why not try the Jillian's Drawers trial - when you send them back at the end of the trial you get all of yoru money back except $10 so taht way you can figureout what works for you guys with minimal cost). If you want to give up, that's fine too. It's really your choice and as so manypeople have said, you ahve to find what works for your family.
History of IF and 2.5 years TTC. The day we were to start our first IUI we received a call that changed our lives forever and 10 month old Olivia joined our family. Shortly thereafter we got a surprise BFP and baby 2 is due July 5, 2012
I admit I didn't read every wod you wrote b/c it's just so long. The main reason we use cloth is to avoid exposure to disgusting, unhealthy chemicals up agianst my child's most sensitive parts. Period.
You need to do what you feel comfortable with.
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
I also agree. My DD is about the same age as yours and we haven't had any issues with using cloth. I didn't start cloth diapers with DS until he was 5 months so the whole newborn stage was new to me.
I knew I wanted natural fibers because I hate microfiber so I stuck with prefolds and fitteds. It sounds like the natural fibers you have aren't heavy duty enough to prevent leaks. I don't know how often you're changing either.
If you really want to stick with cloth, especially for the cost, then I suggest trying a turned and topstitched fitted that is absorbent for nights (Sbish snapless for example), a wool cover (Kissaluvs is not binding and great for nights), and some nice non-wool covers that won't leak marks (I love Nikky, they have gussets and are so gentle on the legs, Flips are gentle on the legs too).
Prefolds aren't binding either so those could work during the day and if you jellyroll and use a cover with gussets, you shouldn't get poo leaks.
DS was in cloth from 5 months old and was crawling at 7 months (very early) and walking at 10.5 months. Cloth did not hold him back whatsoever!
Good luck with your decisions, but there most likely is a cloth option that will work for your LO that won't cause her discomfort or leaks. You just have to figure out what that is first.
Also, I'm not sure if my wording is off but I definitely don't think CDs have delayed her motor skills in anyway just that if she's wearing a particularly bulky diaper that day she seems stiff but gosh darn she still tries to crawl, roll over and kick. She's actually unusually active I think for her age ;-)
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
And CDs do NOT cause delays in motor development, so please do use that as a reason to stop when talking to anyone IRL or on TB because it is spreading misinformation and a common myth about CDs.
Also, please don't say we're not telling the truth when we say CDs are "pretty much the same except you have to wash them." Your reasons for that not being true are bulk (which not all CDs are) and stink issues (which are not a problem if you find a wash routine that works for you). We, as a board, do not misrepresent cloth diaper so I think that's unfair to say.
Basically, I'm sorry cloth didn't work for you. It isn't for everyone, and that's fine. But don't make excuses that aren't true.
Here's the thing. Every baby is different in terms of the way they wet and also in terms of the way their bodies are shaped. Also, babies' shapes change as they get older. It took me trying many, many different types of diapers to find a few brands that work really well for my boys and which I expect will continue to work well as they grow.
The reason I stick with it despite all that work is because I enjoy the process of trial and error. I think CDs are fun, I think trying new brands is fun, I think selling off the ones that don't work is fun, etc. I think that all of this is why you see such an active B/S/T market for CDs--it's crucial that people be able to experiment.
If you don't want to give up, then don't give up. But don't thinking that "not giving up" equals using the options that you own but that aren't working for you. Sell the stuff you don't like and try something else. In the meantime, use your Huggies if you want. Nobody's keeping score.
BTW, for me, trimness was a must-have, so I found some options that are very trim. They are out there.
Not much else to say but good luck. We have had wash issues in the past also and disposables always clear it up. However, we do have a lot of poop leakage with disposables and CDing has a lot of benefits for us as a family. In the end, you just have to weight the pros and cons and figure out what works best.
Keep us posted.
I just want to say that I can hear the frustration in your post and I would be frustrated too if the cloth I had spent tons on werent working. So I am sorry for your frustration.
We primarily use BG AIO's and we LOVE them. They are very trim, are stuffable for added absorbency and they fit our son well. The one-size diapers just dont work well for him although we do use BG 3.0s for nighttime and Elementals as backups. I have Flips as well although I dont use them much, I always want to change the cover which kind of defeats their purpose.
We first bought the elementals and then he was a tiny guy so we bought the XS size for him. Then when he outgrew those he still wasnt big enough for the Elementals so I bought some smalls. And this is how I fell in love with the sized dipes. If you want to try something else, cottonbabies has their AIO's for 9.95 right now and they are limited on quantity. Its a pretty cheap way to try something new and if you like them you can always get more or look for used on diaperswappers.
If my diapers were leaving marks on my kid Id be upset too. And I agree with others that you can use cloth as it works for you. We use disposables when we are out of town or if its going to be a particularly busy weekend. Right now our son is in disposables do to a virus that causes massive amounts of diarrea(sp?). And Im the opposite, I cant wait to get him back in cloth! Weve had poopsplosions and at least one leaky diaper a day, and also had to change his sheets in the middle of the night due to leakage. We never have this with our cloth. Just do what works for you and screw anyone who judges you for it.
that comment interests me, I have never heard it, and DS definitely was not behind, he was sitting at 5 mo, crawling at 6 mo, and walking at 11 mo
BFP: 2/4/13 EDD: 10/11/13
Patiently waiting for Buggirl to join me!!
Beta #1 11dpo:89 Progesterone:38.9 Beta #2 18dpo:1940
HB seen at 6w HB 8w 5d 176bpm! Its a BOY!
grow rainbow grow!!!!
All Always Welcome!!
You know, I thought about it after I wrote that. I know I've read it somewhere, but I can't recall where, and I certainly haven't gone looking for any actual research about it because I'm not that concerned. It's entirely possible that I'm talking out my ass on this.
You are.
Actually I have read (I don't remember where) that it delays (and delays is actually a bad word - impedes would be better) milestones 1-2 weeks compared to the baby's OWN development (not based on general milestones). But in other areas it helps. For example it helped L out rolling from her back to her belly (she couldn't do it when she was naked) but she actually would only crawl at first when she WAS naked. She was able to crawl with her fitted on about a week later.
So it's statistically insignificant.
I CD both my kids during the day and use disposables overnight....have you tried that?
Also, DD was having a very strange red bumpy rash...then I realized we hadn't added salt to our water softener in months. Shortly after doing that and washing all my CDs, her butt instantly cleared up! Maybe your detergent isn't getting the CDs clean...I use Rockin Green and I know it's formulated specifically for various water types.
I had issues in the beginning, too. I had mostly Fuzzibunz which did AWFUL things to my LO's legs. (10x the photo you posted) So, I sold them all on CL. I bought a few different brands and liked almost all of them, but sometimes the leg marks would come back. I also didn't like the bulk and stiffness that came with the Fuzzibunz, or really and OS diaper- because of all the compacted fluff/snaps. Eventually I found our perfect diaper, which was Applecheeks. They allow for SO MUCH movement, and aren't bulky or constricting in any way. They were also our nighttime solution, LO is a mega wetter, lol. (2 Applecheeks inserts and 1 microfiber insert) The leg marks still come back every so often (actually, it's usually just her left thigh), but I really do think that my LO just has sensitive skin. The marks don't seem to bother her, though. I usually just slather her in a thick layer of CJ's Butter and it's gone. It makes no sense, but she looks her best in the morning, after she's been still...even though she's been laying in a soaked diaper.
Don't stress if you come to the conclusion that sposies are for you, because different things work for different families.
But seriously, try Applecheeks. Lol they're amazing. (that being said, my LO has massive thighs) They're on sale for dirt cheap right now on DivaDiapers.com
GL Mama