Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
DancingWarriorUSMC
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Most stupid comments
DancingWarriorUSMC
member
So we have all heard them, those comments people say thinking that they are "doing good" and giving you "the best possible advice", but in reality they are the most hurtful, inconsiderate, and terrible comments ever. What are some of the most stupid ones you have read or heard (directed towards you or others)?
BFP 1: 3/25/11 -- m/c: 4/21/11 @ 9w 2d
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
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Re: Most stupid comments
Said to me by my ex-best friend:
"I understand what you are going through. I just had an abortion and it was the most painful and humiliating thing I have ever gone through."
Written on a Bump board to a woman who was in a state of threatened m/c:
"Good thing this is happening early on, so you can recover sooner and start trying again."
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
Those comments are pretty wicked.
By far the worst comment to me was..
"Well the up side is you don't need to worry about daycare now."
It was the most hurtful and disgusting thing any one has said to me.
"Well atleast you have your ds, and you had to fight like hell to get him here. I don't think you should try to get pregnant again"
That comment came courtesy of my mom. The same mom who doesn't acknowledge my girls Grace and Hannah. To my mom, she has a granddaughter - my niece - and a grandson - ds.
"Well at least now you can you can get pregnant. " - A used to be friend.
Yeah, that does me no good if I can't stay pregnant genius.
CJ 05/29/2013
Moments after announcing our m/c to close family and friends on Facebook, My "Friend" posted... "is holding my baby a little bit tighter and thanking God for blessing me with all four of my precious boys." I thought it was poor timing and felt like salt in the wound. What I'm not deserving of being blessed with a child?!?!
My all time favorite was my best friend..."Can't you wait an additional month to start trying again, cause we have a vacation planned for April"..
Wow. Talk about selfish.
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
I totally get why the whole "well at least you know you can get pregnant" thing upsets many women. For me personally though, when my fiance said it about the two of us I was not that offended. It was a fear we both really had. We weren't really planning for the pregnancy. I've never had a AF. I've probably been visited by AF less then 20 times in my life thus far. When I would as my OBGYN about possible fertility issues they told me that we would have to be TTC for at least a year before they would try to figure anything out. So we simply went about it as, "Let's get the ball rolling now so we can find out what is wrong with me" sort of thing. We were thrilled to get pregnant the following month.
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
I know right! She has mentioned it everytime we have spoken the last two weeks.
If a "friend" of mine had said that to me I would have said, "F your vacation and F this friendship!" You have more self control then me. Kudos to you.
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
Three weeks after our loss, my "friend" sends me a recent picture of her 7 month old baby... how did she want me to respond to that e-mail -- "I lost my baby but yours is really cute"? I just ignored it.
This post is all about venting, so go for it!
I had to lose my best friend's number too. She is the one who compared my m/c to her abortion. I don't speak to her any more or really have anything to do with her at all. I was sad when I made that choice because she was my MOH in my last wedding, I was gonna ask her to be my MOH in my upcoming wedding, and I was gonna ask her to be the god mother to my first child. But I'm glad over all now. I don't want to be involved with someone who is so selfish (not in terms of the abortion, I'm pro-choice, but in terms of comparing our situations and what not).
I doubt your "friend" had any m/c. If she suffered that many of them there is no way she would send you such pictures.
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
Um, seriously? All of these comments you ladies have mentioned make me SO mad just reading them. I cannot believe how ignorant people can be. The comparison of a m/c to an abortion is particularly appalling to me.
I haven't heard anything that awful, but still the 'it was probably for the best' comment really irritates the shiit out of me. Really? So you are all-knowing and could tell that my child was going to have disabilities, so it is really better that I lost the baby after all? Idiots.
Another blogger! My Life in Transition.
Married 05.27.07
BFP#1 - 07.07.09 | EDD 03.14.10 | Truman Anthony born @38w 03.01.10
BFP#2 - 03.24.11 | EDD 11.29.11 | missed MC found @9w 04.26.11 | D&C @16w 06.13.11
BFP#3 - 09.17.11 | EDD 05.29.12 | It's a girl!!!
My BFP Chart
**my labor buddy is Sweepie412**
You are much better than me, that person wouldn't be considered a 'friend' of mine much longer! People can say some inconsiderate things...
I guess my top two are:
(after having Salpingectomy surgery for an ectopic) "so was the pregnancy planned or an oopsy" - from my father
"I'm so sorry I didn't know you were *so and so's* daughter, I would've performed the surgery myself, but I had plans for a friend to fly into town and we were going to see a U2 concert" - from my doctor (*so and so* is referring to my mother who is a L&D nurse at the hospital I was operated on)
and then of course there are all the "well atleast you know you're fertile!"
Vent done!