Rapid eye movement therapy

Bethy80 · June 2011

Has anyone heard of this type of therapy? At my last Ob appointment my Dr. asked if I was having recurring thoughts. I replay the delivery in my head over and over again. So she said to come in Friday (tomorrow) and she would do a rapid eye therapy on me. She said this would help to put that thought into a memory and not have it be replaying in my head over and over. Its for someone who has been through a traumatic situation. I guess I just tell her everything and I move my eyes back and forth. I guess it is sort of like hypnosis. I am SO NERVOUS about retelling everything out loud but I am hopeful I will have some peace. Has anyone had this done or heard of it??

ally2011 · June 2011

I have not heard of that, it will be interesting to hear how it goes.

I will tell you though to be kind to yourself, and patient with yourself. 1 month out is hard as the shock has worn off and full grief is starting to set in. You will not feel like yourself, and that is completely ok. Things will feel surreal, you may feel like you are going to lose your mind or will never heal. That is temporary and does start to improve. I still grieve, I want my baby, but each week it is different and it is getting better, slowly but surely.

I just wanted to mention that it really is a process and to some degree you do just have to ride it out. Rest, don't put demands on yourself or your schedule and let yourself cry/scream/whatever as often as you need. It won't be like that forever, I promise.

Hugs to you,

Jenn

ally2011 · June 2011

And I am talking like I am so much further ahead than you, which I am not, it looks like our losses were about 3 weeks apart...but that 3 weeks can make a big difference. It is only over the last week or so that I have started feeling more like myself than I had been, though of course I don't feel like I did before.

I am so sorry again,

Jenn

Bethy80 · June 2011

Thank you for your kind words. Our girls were the same age when they were born and around the same time. I would like to think they are playing together

......I will give a follow up tomorrow on my appointment. Yes, this morning I felt like I was loosing my mind. Just broke down and cried on the bathroom floor for a very long time. I could barely breathe. I told my husband I felt like I was loosing my mind or going insane. The pain was hard to bear.

ally2011 · June 2011

I like to think so too! There are a few others here with late losses and they have been amazingly wonderful support. You will "meet" them, I am sure.

I cried so hard twice that I threw up, so it is fine and normal. I also screamed and beat the floor a few times with my fists. That helped too, but the neighbors may have thought I was crazy.

Feeling like you are losing your mind is normal (at least as far as I can tell)....it does get better, I promise. But even "better" is still a process. I don't expect to ever feel like I did before again...and that is ok I guess (I don't have a choice)...I am starting to now focus on how I can make sure my daughter's life counts...that she impacts this world for good even though she didn't get to live her. Finding things you can do in honor of your baby can be a real help.

Hugs to you,

Jenn

Peanutbunny · July 2011

I do have experience with this, and it is not positive. I delivered at 24 weeks, but the trauma began before that-it was a very difficult pregnancy with weeks of bad news, CVS, amnio, about 15 ultrasounds, the therapy (EMDR) was devastating, I cannot even describe how far it set me back-it could have been that the counselor I was seeing was not very well trained with it (she had only being performing this type of therapy for one year), it was really really hard, if you want to talk about it, message me and I will give you my number. Good luck!

DesiraeSunshine · July 2011

I had a healing experience with emdr long ago, enough so that DH and I and I are going to probably be doing it to help with our grief.

i think with any type of therapy, not everyone is going to find it helpful. their are no 100% solutions to anything. id goin with an open mind.

lotus88 · July 2011

I don't have any direct experience with EMDR, but have heard good things about it. There are specific certificates that therapists can get to practice it. It's mostly used for people who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I've never taken any of those trainings, but have referred people to a therapist who does. It can be really intense and it's not something I would feel comfortable training in with my level of experience. I agree with a previous poster that it likely depends on the therapist and their experience level. I'm surprised that your OB was talking about doing this. ? Or are they referring you to someone else? Maybe I misunderstood.

Bethy80 · July 2011

So .... I am back with an up date. The therapy wasn't as bad as I thought. I go back on thursday. It was all in visualizing the negative and then replacing with a positive image. It was weird at first but i was trying to keep an open mind. I left feeling better then I came in so that was good. I felt almost a release. Maybe it was just talking about it out loud or maybe it was part of the therapy.....And Yes, it was my OB who did the therapy on me. Thank you for everyone who shared their experiences or insight with me.

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