Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
mrsjami
member
What if...Warning pics in siggy
mrsjami
member
What if....I didn't forget my vitamins.
What if....I had drank more water and less coffee.
What if... I had not drank alcohol before my bfp.
What if... I did not do that yardwork.
What if....I didn't workout.
What if... I suffered with that headache instead of taking Mortrin.
What if... I am too scared to try again.
What if..I let this loss end my dreams.
What if...I take this time heal.
What if...
It's been over a week now. These are the thoughts that still run through my head, hoping by posting it will help me heal.
6/20/11 mc @ 5wks
10/19/11 mc @ 17wks- Trisomy 18
IUI #1 4/26/12 BFN
Moving on to IVF in July
37 with DOR...fabulous
ER 7/14/12 6R 5F, ET 7/17 3 embies, beta #1 7/26: 147, beta #2 7/28: 326, beta#3 7/30: 422...ugh, beta#4 7/31: 607...hopeful, beta #5 8/2: 1280, beta #6 8/7: 7184 and u/s shows 1 possibly 2 sacs! 8/14 2 beautiful heartbeats! 9/24 we are TEAM BLUE!!!!!
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Re: What if...Warning pics in siggy
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
I am so very sorry for your loss. I love the idea of your post. Mind if I add a few of mine?
What if... I had refused that second hand smoke filled rental car.
What if... I hadn't had to work 5 events in 2 days when my baby was dying.
What if... I hadn't moved back into our house just a few days after our floors were refinished with that strong smelling product during the cycle that gave me a BFP.
What if... I had waited for 3 whole cycles after stopping BCP.
What if... I had told my parents about the pregnancy earlier so I didn't have to tell them about the loss and the pregnancy at the same time.
What if... I have to go through this again.
What if... My EDD comes around before I get pregnant again.
What if... My baby had made it and would be only 7 months younger than her cousin.
BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!!
BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
I was a little nervous about posting my "what if's", but I think I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
What if... I had never put my body through the torture of an eating disorder when I was younger?
What if... I hadn't eaten that piece of chocolate that turned out to be drugged early in my pregnancy (before I knew I was pg)? (side note: I didn't know that this chocolate had a drug in it until after I started feeling it's effects. I'm not happy with the person who made them, put them in the fridge, and didn't label them.)
What if... I had stuck with my BCP at a younger age to help regulate my period.
What if... I didn't work out the couple of days before the bleeding started?
What if... I didn't have the starts of a UTI the two days before I actually m/c?
What if... My fiance and I hadn't been getting hot and heavy that morning before the contractions started?
What if... This happens again?
What if... I get pg again by accident before the wedding?
What if... I have several m/c's?
What if... There is something medically wrong with me and I won't find out about it before I go through this several more times?
What if... I can't hold it together on Thanksgiving with my family (my EDD)?
Semper Fi! - A proud female Marine
what if...I had suffered through the vomiting and didn't take the phenergan?
what if...I didn't take those baths ( i didn't think they were too hot, but what if?)
what if...I didn't stop taking my PNV because they were making me sick?
what if...I had my bloodwork done earlier? Would there have been something they saw and could have done?
what if...I had waited three instead of two months to TTC after BCP?
what if...I am too scared to try again?
what if...I am too scared to try again and miss out on having a family?
*********DS and BF mention**********
I do the same thing. I'm sure we all do it. I wish I could shut off my brain sometimes.
What if I had stomped pumping BM as soon as I found out we were pregnant?
What if had eaten a better diet?
What if I hadn't tripped and fell that weekend?
What if it takes me a year to ovulate because of my crazy hormones?
~Started TTC 2/09. BFP #1 11/09. EDD 8/7/10. DS born 8/7/10.~
~Surprise BFP #2 5/11 while still BF'ing. Natural M/C @ 7w3d.~
~BFP #3 8/11. EDD 4/24/12. Heavy bleeding episodes from a lost twin. DD born 4/14/12.~
~Started TTC 2/13. BFP #4 3/13. EDD 11/8/13. Hoping for smooth sailing!~
These "what ifs" constantly run through my head too. I try to remind myself that there was nothing I could have done differently, but I can't help but wonder...
What if I had been healthier when I got KU?
What if I hadn't taken antidepressants the first 8 weeks?
What if we hadn't had sex the day before my water broke?
What if I hadn't taken those antibiotics before I knew I was pregnant?
What if I hadn't had that infection in the first place?
What if they would have given me antibiotics when my water first broke instead of waiting?
What if I hadn't "pushed" when I felt like I needed to right before my water broke?
What if I had started my prenatals sooner?
What if I hadn't taken the morning sickness medication?
What if I had not slept on my stomach sometimes?
What if I didn't have a job that required me to be on my feet and moving around so much?
What if they had noticed something was wrong with my cervix sooner?
BFP on 1/1/11; pPROM at 19 weeks; Jameson Thomas born on 4/5/11 at 20 weeks.
Imagine a love so strong that saying hello and goodbye the same day was worth the sorrow.What if I didn't get a UTI
What if I didn't take antibiotics
What if I hadn't worked out so hard before my BFP
What if I hadn't been on such a strict diet before my BFP
What if I had been more responsible about keeping track of my cycles and poas earlier
What if I had taken prenatals before I was 8 weeks along
What if I hadn't helped DH move a kitchen table in the house
What if I hadn't counted my chickens before they hatched...
And the list could go on and on. I try not to feel like my loss was my fault, but those thoughts constantly creep into my mind.
WOW.....here we go1
What if.....I would have know what a contraction felt like
What if..... a mothers intuition is always right
What if.....they did more umbilical cord testing
What if..... i didnt work such long hard stressful hours
What if.... those cases of beer hadnt fallen on we when I was 13w
What if...... they would have caught that her umbilical cord was too short during the many u/s
What if....i hadnt tested positive for GBS
What if...... I didnt have sex with DH the last day I felt her moving
What if.....I didnt occasionally have a sip of alcohol
What if.......I had eaten all of my meats cook extremely well done
What if....... I hadnt eaten deli meats
What if....... I had found out about short cord syndrom sooner
What if..... there was ANY sort of research on SCS
What if..... I had just excepted help when it was offered while pg
Im know that there are several more but now Im crying so hard that I cant see the screen anymore...
What if........ there was a way I could have saved my daughter
you brought tears to my eyes.
I have never heard of short cord syndrome (not that I know very much about pregnancy anyway). What an unfair thing to happen. That makes me so angry. It wold be great if you could help others become aware of it...my heart goes out to you.