Cheating.

fotobird · June 2011

I know a lot of you will say, "No way, my H would never cheat, we got married for a reason, etc etc", but do you ever wonder? I sometimes wonder if my H has considered it or if he has ever flirted with other women.
Do keep in mind that I am emotionally tarnished from previous relationships and have pretty severe abandonment issues. I just sometimes think I'm not "good enough" for my H and am constantly comparing the present to the flawless dating period (you know, where they could run over your family pet and you forgive them for buying a replacement Lassie).
Are you comfortable with your H befriending women? Talking to them?

HisSunshine1220 · June 2011

I logically don't have any reason to worry. In the 6 years that we have been together he has never once given me a reason to question him. However, I am like you and have had my fair share of crappy relationships, so tend to get jealous for no real reason. He's pretty patient with me though.

jonnysgirl07 · June 2011

I have been with dh for about 5 years and also has never given me a reason to worry. I am not a jealous person either. I am insecure sometimes even though he always tells me I am great and his trophy wife haha. I am always just really honest with how I feel

Mt2G1012 · June 2011

Are you comfortable with your H befriending women? Yes

Talking to them? Yes

I am even comfortable him looking at other women. Helll I point them out sometimes.

However, when I had a severe back injury 5 years ago and we didn't have sex for 11 months, as great and understanding and supportive as he was, in the back of my mind I wondered on occasion. I knew it was stupid to think and I truly do know DH would never cheat one me, but it still crossed my mind due to issues from previous relationships.

ETA: and he never gave me a single reason, ever to suspect. It was my crazycakes brain worrying.

JaimeCH · June 2011

I think we are both loyal to a fault and I could never picture him cheating on me. However, I imagine that if our relationship started deteriorating and we weren't communicating I might start to think differently though. So I just focus on making sure that our relationship is just on the right side of healthy, and not worry about the what ifs. I think that I would have a twinge of jealousy and would be a little weirded out if all of a sudden he started talking about a new friend that was a woman.

erind0213 · June 2011

In my head I feel like he wouldn't do it, but its one of those things that can happen to any relationship at any time.

DH is a police officer and his schedule is very different then mine. He rotates between 1st and 2nd shift and his days off also rotate, so there is plenty of time where I am at work during the day, and he is home, or off during the week while im at work.

I also think that with him being a police officer its somewhat stereotypical for them to be "cheaters". So sometimes you can't help but wonder. (Not to mention his partner is currently a female. Although I have met her, and know she is engaged i would have rather her be gay)

mamabear214 · June 2011

Sometimes, yes, I get a little paranoid. DH is very patient with me though since I, too, am emotionally scarred from previous relationships. I also have severe abandonment issues & separation anxiety. In my heart, I know that he loves me and would never cheat. My head has been known to play tricks on me though.

Edit: I didn't answer your questions. Yes, I am comfortable with him being friends with women. He does not tolerate women being flirtatious with him though, and sets them straight when they hit on him. I'm also okay with him talking to women.

I have guy friends, and he does not have a problem with them. Why should I feel any different.

stilts1 · June 2011

I'm a "never say never" kind of person. He's human and so am I. I don't worry about it. Any lady friends he may have are mutual friends of ours and I don't care if he talks with them while I'm not around. As long as he's not emotionally invested in their problems then I could care less.

SarahWaggy · June 2011

Kmeek, darlin. You're wonderful and gorgeous. I completely understand the abandonment issues myself and know what it's like to feel that way sometimes, but realize, you are good enough for him, he loves you, and if you're super worried, talk with him.

Now, I, myself don't mind my husband befriending women. He's even friends with quite a few of his exes. I do not mind because I know that in the end he comes home to me.

earthboundmisfit · June 2011

I don't really worry about it. DH has female friends [mostly coworkers] and I'm cool with that. He is FB friends with all of his exes and I don't mind. I used to worry about it when we first started dating but I was really young [18] and I think i've grown out of it. I think that most men AND woman have the capacity to cheat. I'm sure a lot of married people who cheat don't intend to..but throw the right person into the wrong situation and really, anything can happen. You have to ask yourself..can you trust your husband to stay out of situations that might lead to cheating? I trust my DH to be mindful of temptation. We work to keep our relationship healthy..that's the most I can do.

nadinethequeen01 · June 2011

I am generally not a jealous person but my XH always gave me reasons to not trust him. When I was dating my ExBF, I could care less if he talked to women or looked at them. We would look together, honestly. We had a very open relationship. never had jealousy problems and I never suspected him of cheating. I guess, the only time I ever had a problem with anything like that is if they gave me a reason not to trust them.

JBullock10 · June 2011

Sometimes my insecurities get the best of me.. So yes

I personally believe that he's way hotter than I am (he disagrees)..so sometimes I get snarky when women openly check him out when were walking together or something.

(I do also think that they fact that he had an affair w/ a married women a year or so before we got together makes my fears more rational to me)

cherokeemomma87 · June 2011

DH and I have been together for almost 7 years now, I feel fine with him talking to other women. I am confident in our relationship, I know him inside and out and know that if he didnt want to be with me he wouldnt be. And he takes marriage seriously and wouldnt have married me if he didnt want to be with me.

Having said all that I am really protective, idk why, just am. He doesnt even notice when a woman is flirting with him, but I do and it kind of pisses me off. I mean Im fvcking standing right there!

jana_86 · June 2011

I really don't worry about it. My H is very very shy. And I've seen the women he works with..... I REALLY don't worry about any of them

moonfaerie · June 2011

Most people wouldn't get married if they thought their spouse would cheat, yet how many people divorce due to cheating? (Or worse, find out & stay or never catch on .) I side with the never say never philosophy. I trust my DH but I'm not naive to the possibility.

JoJoMama730 · July 2011

My DH started to stray once during our relationship. He hid it, and I discovered it Cagney & Lacey style. It didn't go very far, but it didn't matter - the damage was done. So, no, I'm not all that comfortable with him befriending women unless I also know them, and I would not be at all comfortable with him spending a lot of one on one time with any woman (non-family).

Simply put, as wonderful as things can be, sometimes I still worry about him cheating. I can't help it. The rampant emotions have dulled a bit over time, though, but they may always be there in the back of my mind, I dunno.

ValentineBB · July 2011

I know with 100% certainty DH would never cheat on me nor would I with him. That said, we are both flirtatious by nature and I think it's ok if we flirt with others from time to time. It's innocent and honestly sometimes just that little amount of freedom and trust can keep people from straying, KWIM?

Cheating.

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