Just found out friend is pg and due when I would have been — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Just found out friend is pg and due when I would have been

A dear friend of mine just told me that she is pregnant and she is due when I would have been...literally 3 days difference.  She didn't want to tell me because of all that I was going through and only admitted it when I asked about it as I knew she had been trying and I had a feeling that she was in fact pregnant.  She felt horrible about it and I am truly happy for her, but my heart is breaking thinking about seeing her pregnancy progress when I mine ended in such heartache so early.

3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
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Re: Just found out friend is pg and due when I would have been

  • This is really tough, and I am in a very similar situation. My SIL just found out she is pg and due VERY close to, what would have been my due date. I have very similar feelings as what you are experiencing. I am so very happy for them, but it breaks my heart all over again. I feel like, not only did I lose my baby, but now I lost that special bonding experience with my SIL and the bond our children would have had. 

    Big ((HUGS)) to you.

     

    BFP#1 1/04/2008 Liam Joseph born 09/26/08 @ 37 weeks BFP#2 5/8/2011 MC Found 06/20/2011, D&C 06/21/2011 @ 10 Weeks "Sometimes love lasts a moment. Sometimes love lasts a lifetime. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime."
  • Ouch.  I am so sorry sweets.
    DH:41 Me:33

    Dx: MFI (very low everything)

    IVF/ICSI Only Option



    IVF #1 (antagonist): 01/2011: 9ER; 8M; 5FN; 3(3dt) = BFN

    IVF #2 (agonist): 05/2011: 13ER; 12M; 8FN; 2(3dt) = BFP (1 frostie)

    +HPT 8dp3dt; Betas: #1 12dp3dt=174; #2 19dp3dt=3461; u/s 7w5d = heterotopic pregnancy = 2 D&Cs for uterine (Trisomy 16) and meds to dissolve ectopic

    IVF #3 (agonist w BCP): 12/2011: 10ER; 9M; 8FN; 2(5dt)= BFP (2 frosties)

    +HPT 4dp5dt; Betas: #1 9dp5dt=363; #2 11dp5dt=896; B/G Twins - c/s at 37wks2d due to HELLP Syndrome


    [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/fuxhc.jpg[/IMG]
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  • That is just another crummy thing that comes along with this.  I have 5 cousins (one who is 17) and a sister that is pregnant.  I was happily part of that group.  I shared a due date with a cousin and was days apart from my sister.  Now it is just hard to see them go through their pregnancies without me.  I know it will hurt less in time..but will be quite a painful reminder always.  Dont feel bad if you have a little jealousy and pain..it is normal.  You wish no ill will..it will just sting a little.  And we are here going through the same thing so you are not alone in your feelings.
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  • That definitely is one of the hardest things is having friends and family around you who are now expecting right around while you were going to be and to see their pregnancies flourish while yours has ended.  I have 2 friends who both found out right around the same time I did that they were pregnant and we shared emails about what books to read, what we could eat/drink, even if they made pregnant spanx! I mean it was in depth convos about our new lives being pregnant, and now those emails have ended.

    Of course you are genuinely happy for your friend, and like someone said before you don't wish ANY ill will, but it's still hard to deal with.  Let alone a stranger pass you with a baby bump it hurts, but to know you could've been sharing the experience with someone you are close with is the hardest.

    It was very considerate of your friend to keep it to herself until you were ready to ask her. You obviously have a GREAT friend in her, which will make it that much easier to cope.

    I'm hoping it's one of those things that heal more in time, but just try to focus on yourself and your emotional healing.

    BFP 5/22/11 Beta #1 400s; Beta #2 500s; U/S 7w1d nothing in Uterus; Beta #3 300s; Beta #4 400s; U/S 6/10/11 diagnosed ectopic, receieved methotrexate; Beta #5 600s; Beta #6 265; Emergency laparoscopy led to right tube Salpingectomy @11w1d 6/22/11
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