Babies: 3 - 6 Months
My FFFC... LONG
Kinda long, but here goes: FI, DD, & I have been in PA visiting my Mom since Wednesday (Tuesday night, really). They haven't seen her since she was about six weeks old & they're totally in love with her. I love my family, & they're not very aggravating (and if/when they are, they're easy to talk to). I have a 13 yr old sister and a 10 yr old sister. They both beg to hold her all the time, which would normally be perfectly fine, except that DD is teething, hasn't had a good nap since Sunday (usually we take one 2 hr nap together and her others are short and by herself), and they end up overstimulating her & when she gets upset they talk to her more until I intervene. My FFFC is that I'm kinda mad at FI that I'm the ONLY person who can soothe DD. It's always been that way and I try to let him attempt to soothe her but when she wants me there's no alternative for her it seems. Also, he seems to get short with me when he can't soothe her and I'm trying to tell him how because I can't listen to her cry anymore. I don't usually mind being with her all day, but I kinda wanna visit some while I'm here too, instead of constantly being alone with DD in a quiet room away from everyone because she's so tired, just for her to sleep 30 min (20 of which are in my lap) and wake up crying. She's usually such a happy baby. If you made it this far, thanks, because this is pretty much a vent with a confession plopped in the middle.
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Re: My FFFC... LONG
When you tell him what to do while she is crying he may feel like you are telling him he doesn't know what to do with his daughter. I have found that if I tell MH little tricks I have found out with DS after the stress of a crying baby and awhile later then he takes it better. If I tell him while DS is crying and he is trying his hardest and it is not working then he gets defensive and tells me just to take over.
Also, I have learned I can't be mad at MH for not being able to soothe DS if I always budge in while he is crying and take DS without giving MH a chance. I don't know about you but the reason I know little tricks to get him to settle down is because I spent a good chunk of time while he screamed trying to figure out what soothes him and I would never give MH the same amount of time.
As far as her being overly tired I would just nip that in the butt and be blunt to everyone letting them know she needs to take a nap. If you start catching her prior to her being tired I am sure things will be less stressful. My DS needs to take a nap every 2 hours in order to have a great, never fussing day.
H can never get DD to settle down either. It's not that he isn't trying, it's just that DD needs him to find his own way to do it with her. I try to offer suggestions of what I do, but his solutions are always so much different than mine and what he does doesn't work for me either.
H also spends less time with DD because he works mornings 8 hours. When he does watch her at night, it's only for about 3-4 hours before she goes to bed. That makes about 9 hours for me and 1/3 of that for him. At least he gets the basics down and does try his best :-}