Would this concern you-- honestly?
Many of you know that I've had ongoing worries about some kind of autism spectrum disorder for James. He's now almost 2 1/2 and has made huge strides with his verbal and gross motor skills (he's been in EI therapy since 13 months). However, there are some aspects of his behavior that still concern me, and I'm not sure if I should have him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. His regular pediatrician, while nice, does not really ask any developmental questions at the appointments.
So, the thing that I worry about is his obsession with flags. American flags, usually, be really all flags. He points them out everywhere (fine, doesn't worry me), wants to grab and touch them all (fine, doesn't worry me), and becomes very upset when he can't hold or touch one (worries me). He has several small flags. It is often hard to get him to put them down to eat dinner or to do something else. He likes to hold them in a particular way, between his thumb and forefinger in a pincer grasp. While he will put them down and do other things, he will always suddenly remember them and have to have them. He often takes them to bed. Sometimes when he sees a flag and get to grab it he is so excited that he starts shaking. It can be really hard to get him away from a flagpole where he is staring up at a flag.
When we have to take one away from him, he can get very upset and have a tantrum. However, it doesn't last that long, maybe 5 or 10 minutes.
I know it is totally normal for toddlers to have attachments to things, and he has several other interests such as trucks, school buses, etc. However, these seem more normal to me as he is not quite as obsessive about them. The flag thing has been going on for over a year. He has sort of an odd attachment to things that spin and fly in general (ceiling fans, pinwheels, wheels on cars, etc.) but the flags are by far his favorite thing.
Even writing this I feel sort of mean, like I should just support his interests. I buy him all kinds of flag stuff-- shirts, hats, socks, etc. because I know he loves them, and we spend plenty of time visiting all the flags in our neighborhood, so I'm not trying to discourage it in any way. But it just seems a little over the top to me, and I know that part of autism is the attachment to unusual objects.
Am I overreacting? Does this strike you as odd or normal toddler behavior? Please be honest. He does have other behaviors that are a little concerning as well, but this is the one that really sticks out right now.
Re: Would this concern you-- honestly?
Honestly, no and I worry about everything. From what I see here and on facebook James is very verbal an d I know autisitic kids can be verbal but still. Carter is obsesse with DVDs-not watching them-holding them...weird rihgt? We bought him a couple of THomsas the Trains DVDs because he loves trains and he just wants to carry them around and not watch them and all the time! He will throw tantrums too if I don't give them to him. So is James obessions with flast maybe a little weird? Maybe but no that differetn that other kids obssesion probably. I'm sure he'll outgrow it! Don't worry!
Oh mama, I know how much you have worried about this with James
As I was reading, I kept thinking, okay, sounds normal to me, because Bella seems the same way about pinwheels but when you mentioned how he grasps the flag, that part may or may not be concerning ....
I do know of other kids that are perfectly normal and have real attachments to items..just as much as James...
I think that if your heart is worried about autism with James, than you should go ahead and get someone who is willing to listen and do more testing, You have already been very vocal about your concerns and have gotten him EI. Mama knows best.
Of course, I am no professional and have no prior child experience. Sometimes we worry so much about something that we start to focus on one thing and it may cloud our judgment on the entire picture..not saying this is what is happening but I have a feeling James is going to be just fine...hugs mama!
It would concern me a little. Not a lot (because as you said, toddlers do have obsessions), but enough to have him evaluated.
My nephew has Asperger's Syndrome. One of his obsessions is guns. Lovely, right? Except he has never had any toy guns to play with (with the exception of water guns in the pool). But he can fashion anything into a gun, paper napkin, toys, etc. It was one of my SIL's concerns.
All in all, he is a happy little boy. He has friends, is caring, etc. So while it may be nothing, IMO it's at least exploring. Because if he is on the spectrum, you can get help for him sooner rather than later. And if he's not? Well, chalk it up to obsessive parenting
I worked in EI for many years as an ABA beh for children 1-3 with ASD/ PDDNOS. The things you are describing above do raise some red flags.
You mentioned above his love for fans, pinwheels, wheels etc. All things that spin....usually this is associated with what is called "stims" accompanied with very excited behavior...this sounds a bit more concerning than the flag thing.
My first thought when I read this was if your gut is saying something is "off" or quirky in behavior, thats enough of a reason to advise you to see a dev ped. Im a bit confused as to why he wasn't evaluated by the EI team in terms of getting behavioral therapy whether it be ABA or DI? Hope Im not asking too many questions.....my personal advice. Make an appt. If he qualifies for any additional services you can start them before he turns 3 and will have more of a pull to continue or increase services with the town should he need them past the age of 3. In the meantime, call your EI team and have them do an evaluation to get the ball rolling....they can start the services if he qualifies before you go to the dr. Please feel free to ask any questions or concerns levymichelle@ hotmail.com
It does strike me as odd behavior. I would schedule the dev. pedi appointment...It can take some time to get in to see one, so I wouldn't waste any more time. DS was just dx with autism 4 weeks ago and has the same type of obsession but with dogs. What are your other concerning behaviors?
Also, I would post on the special needs board and ask the same questions because there are several moms on there who have kids on the spectrum and are a lot of help.
Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions.
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Here is my thought on it (and take it with a grain of salt, as I am far from an expert at this stuff).
But you have been worried about autism with James for a long, long time. While I dont think his behavior is all that concerning, I think you should have him evaluated for your own piece of mind. Either they can assure you that he is fine and this is normal toddler behavior or they might think he is on the spectrum and they can give you all the help you need for James to progress. And no matter what they say, James is still the same adorable little boy either way!
Good luck Mama! This parental worrying just never stops.
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Thanks, everyone. It's actually really helpful to see opinions on both sides. Maybe everything is fine. Maybe he's on the spectrum. At least he's now at an age where hopefully that can be determined. I think I will try to make an appt so I can get some answers and maybe just have some peace of mind, as you say.
I want to be clear-- I love James with all my heart and I just want the best for him. A diagnosis isn't that scary to me at this point. He clearly loves us, knows we love him, and can communicate with us. Even if he is on the spectrum I know he will be fine.
I'm not trying to undermine you, because it's clear you know what you're talking about, but don't all kids love things that spin and move? What's the difference between a kid who just gets excited about seeing a pinwheel and "stims"
I'm so glad you mentioned this, as I was a bit confused too. I would imagine he got EI because of your initial concerns with Autism, so why would they not check for red flags? I hope this is a good sign that perhaps he didn't have any red flags and all is well.
Jacob has obsessions, like all toddlers. And I wouldn't say that James' are that different from other toddlers. But if James were my son, I would get him evaluated with out a doubt. You need this for your piece of mind. You're doing it for him. If it turns out to be nothing, then he's just a quirky toddler. And if it turns out to be something, then you've trusted your mommy instinct and done the right thing for your little guy!
To me it's that he gets so much more excited over that than other things, and that you can't tear his attention away once he's focused on something like that, and that he sometimes gets this sort of glazed look staring at things that spin. Sorry for the short answer and not even sure if I am right, but that's what concerns me about his focus on these things. Both kids are up from nap now so I will try to write more later!
Good question. Yes, all kids love things that spin, move etc. The difference being in that typically, a child will get excited and point, or vocalize, clap but easily be able to move on to another subject of interest. The best way to describe a stim is not a typical reaction, rather a quirky reaction. Example. Child turns over his truck, spins the wheels, turns the car over and pretends to drive it around. There is no perseveration. Typical. With a child with ASD/PDDNOS they will fixate only on the wheels, spin them continuously and have a hard time moving on to another activity. The stimming of the wheels turning could elicit some "quirky" excitement...flapping with hands, squinting or closing eyes, high pitch vocals. Almost obsessively doing it. which I am in no way saying is pertaining to this post. just in general.
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since i don't have a toddler yet i don't know a lot about toddler development. i guess it sounds maybe a bit unusual to me. regardless, i think it's a good idea to get him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician--it certainly can't hurt, and hopefully it will ease your mind.
good luck sweetie--this must be so stressful!
i wouldn't be worried unless he displayed many signs of ASD... it's totally normal for toddlers to fixate on things like that. Gibby does that with his little toy animals and airplanes.... he has to point to the sky for airplanes every time he can see the sky - and has been doing that for a year now - he LOVES them. My brother was the same way - and ended up getting his pilot's license before his driver's licence... it was just how he was.
we have ASD in my family (my dad and nephew) so i'm really aware of those things- but one "symptom" doesn't = worry.... most ASD type symptoms are things "normal" people and kids do as quirks.. it's just when there are many that you need to be concerned.
I am actually part of the autism evaluation team in one of the largest school districts in TX. School districts dx autism differently when compared to doctors. This is mostly because doctors do not have the time or take the time to observe and interact with children for an entire day. Just some background, so you how indepth a dx should be, we interview the parents and teacher (if there is one), observe the student in school/day care and in the home, as well as interact with the child, purposely trying to trigger areas/behaviors which the DSM IV -TR (diag. stat. manual) says must be present to be dx. Of course there is a spectrum and various disorders under the autism umbrella. If your son is making strides in language...that is HUGE! Language is one of the main areas of defict for children with autism. How are his social skills with peers or family? Does he initiate contact with you , ie. hugs, wanting to be picked up? How is his reactiopn tyo various sensory stimuli...especially with food or toy? Many kids can't stand soft or squishy; everyone is different but they are consistent. Finally how is he when you change his routine? Those are all major areas that would need to be looked at and addressed in a dx. So if your son is doing ok in those areas, I would not worry too much. You are welcome to message me if you have questions. Sorry if this is too much info!
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I think you are obsessing over the flags. Ethan has several hats and must always be wearing one, He will melt down without one, and he seems to get visible agitated.
However, the fact that your pedi doesnt ask development questions makes me uncomfortable, and for that reason alone I would not only get him evaluated, I would change pedis.
I have two nephews from two different sisters who were oddly obsessed with things. Really obsessed. It was difficult for their parents to deal with, especially with the tantrums if they had to stop them for whatever reason. Because they really couldn't stop them and it's hard to know when to give in as I'm sure you know.
Both grew up to be wonderful, well adjusted boys. No signs of autism or OCD. Well, not crippling OCD anyway. I think most people in my family have a livable OCD. Actually - both of these kids are extremely intelligent and got into really great schools. I'm all for having any tests done to rule things out or put your mind at ease because you can't be too careful with things, and EI is so important. But if they don't find anything don't worry about his quirk.