How do I convince DS he's "big enough" (PT/generally)?
schnappycat
member
I've posted several times about DS's reluctance/stubborness with PTing. His latest thing the last few weeks is that he's just not big enough or old enough. "I'll go on the potty when I'm 4" or "When I'm bigger, I'll do that." And it's not just with PTing, but with other things he's scared to do, like learning to pedal a tricycle. He just has gotten it into his head that he's too young or little when he's clearly not. It's nothing we have said and I constantly point out other kids his age or younger who are PT or riding a bike or whatever. How can I explain to him that he is the correct age/big enough/etc? Or is he just finding the excuse convenient to be lazy or scared?
Oh, and related to this, it probably doesn't help that his one little buddy who is only 3 weeks older is about a foot taller than DS. So he looks 2 years older. He PTed a few months ago and DS and I have talked about how his friend goes on the potty, etc. and made a big deal of it in hopes it would encourage DS. But turns out that DS thought his friend was a lot older (he actually said that he would when he was Cowan's age). Or so he says. It makes no sense he would think that there is a big age difference since they have taken tot classes together and attended each other's birthday parties, etc. So DS really should understand. Maybe he's just playing me, but now I'm trying to convince DS that he and his friend are the same age.
Any advice with this new twist? We have 5 weeks and counting until preschool now. 
He should at least get points for being creative with his excuses, I suppose.
Re: How do I convince DS he's "big enough" (PT/generally)?
Have you tried a little reverse psychology on him? I would try taking away his favorite toy, food, movie/show, etc. and tell him he's too little for it. Then explain when he is big enough to go potty, then he can have whatever you took away back.
We did this with DD ,who is 3, and chores, she would always complain that she was too little to help clear the table or put toys away. It was hard for a couple of days because she has temper tantrums and whining down to an art form.
Good luck
Back off for a couple of weeks. No need to make it a battle. Tell him he will be a big boy soon and it will be HIS choice to use the potty.
And a few chocolate kisses on top of the potty for when he uses it is very helpful!
What does he do when he wets or dirties his pants? What are the consequences?
He's nearly three and a half -- I'd be letting him suffer the consequences of not using the potty. Clean up your own messes. Be embarrassed with wet pants.
Try not giving him so many choices. Don't ask him if he needs to use the potty, tell him he needs to use the potty before he can watch a show or go in the car or go out to play or get a treat.
If you haven't already, get rid of the diapers and pull ups and give it a week or two of solid trying.
I'd go buy a cake and celebrate his half birthday! Congratulations, you're 3 and a half! Now you're big! You're as old as Cowan! Woohoo!
And you've got a week to talk it up about all these great things he can do at 3 and a half.
Another thought...
Does he know about preschool? Has he been in daycare before this? Is he excited about it or scared? Because if you've told him he can't go to preschool until he's PTd and he doesn't really want to go to preschool... well, he's got a strong incentive to pee his pants.
Interestingly enough, my oldest did the exact same thing with PT. Now the twist is he was much younger but he initiated PT very, very early and *I* was the one that had a hard time on follow through because I had a new baby and my oldest had little to no language.
Anyway he used the potty some and then wanted nothing to do with it and spent a couple weeks saying when he was older, when he got bigger, when he grew up that then he would use the potty. I did a zero pushing from me and just talked about how exciting it was going to be when he was got older, grew up, got bigger and how he would be able to pedal a trike (insert stuff he was excited about doing) and then rarely work in how neat it would be when he decided he was old enough to go on the toilet.
I think that it lasted about two weeks or something and then viola, he was all grown up and ready to go no the potty.
How long is his preschool day? Does he have a regular poop schedule? If so, instead of stressing too much (which of course he catching onto) maybe you could shove a diaper double down his underwear to catch pee accidents.