Success after IF
Are you an overprotective parent?
I am!! I am just trying to come to terms with this fact. Not that I have a problem with it but I do worry sometimes that it's too much and I need to calm down. MIL for example just asked why I don't trust her enough to leave DD alone with her. It's not that I don't "trust" her, she's just not me and why leave her alone if I don't have to. I also worry how my overprotective nature may affect DDs personality as she matures. DH has brought this up before but he trusts me to parent however I'm comfortable. I've also wondered if this is a result of IF the constant worry that something bad could happen. No point really just curious to how many of us SAIFers are proud overprotective parents or how Many of you think it's maybe not such a good thing. Any good stories to share, thoughts, opinions.....let's discuss!
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Re: Are you an overprotective parent?
I've always thought of myself as a tad overprotective, but based on your standards maybe I'm not, because I let my MIL keep my kids all the time!
I am a little freaky about things like making sure they have on sunscreen, trying to avoid falls, etc. So much so that it's hard for me let Henry run around in the backyard w/o following along behind him. I'm so afraid for him to fall down and get her, which I know is ridiculous.
I am actually more layed back then I thought I would be. I mean I am also freaky abt certain things. Making sure he gets enough water during the day, wearing sunscreen, making sure he eats one veggie a day, takes a bath, ect, and sticks to his schedule..naps, bedtime ect.
But almost everything else I am pretty easy going about. We fly with him, He takes baby classes with older kids, I never got uptight about food/giving him food, ect... I am TOTALLY ok with leaving him with others, I have a sitter who comes once a weekish (she is a senior in HIghschool) and she watches Jake, I have also left him for a girls weekend to go to NYC and then when we were home in MA he spent the night with my MIL so we could go to a wedding..We also have NO family in Fla so I have to be comfortable leaving him or I/we would never go out!
VERY much so. When we recently left Toodle overnight with someone other than us (my mom for a night, as a test run before I went to the hospital to deliver, and then with my mom/SIL and brother while I was in the hospital), I had intense panic attacks that he was going to die while someone else watched him becase they didn't know all of our precautions. I typed up a 2 page list of instructions, 1 page of which was all bullet pointed safety rules (don't carry him in the loft, always accompany down stairs, make sure tub drains before bedtime, etc.). I also sent them both youtube links to choking and CPR videos. My SIL has a 1 and 3 year old but I don't trust that anyone will know/remember all of the precautions we consider important.
I also REALLY didn't want to let Toodle go on his school field trip because I was scared they'd lose him in a public place. DH made me let him go. And I still check that my 2 year old is breathing (via video monitor) about 20 times before I go to sleep (or at least I did before the new baby arrived and DH started sleeping in his room anyways).
I know I'm crazy, I can't help it though. There's nothing I can do about worrying so my goal is to just not limit the kids' ability to live/have fun, with DH's assistance.
ETA: I've also never left Toodle with anyone other than daycare, my mom, SIL/brother, and DH's parents. The idea of getting a babysitter that isn't family, particularly one that doesn't watch a toddler on a regular basis, is terrifying to me. We may consider it sometime soon but I'd prefer not to.
I am in some ways, and in some ways I'm not.
I do still check on her (through the video monitor) every time I wake up at night. I am a freak about her nutritions, and don't let her have juice at all, hardly any sweets, fast food almost never, etc.
She has never been left with anyone other than family and her church day school teachers and nursery workers (most of whom I went to high school with). She has only ever spent the night with my Mom, and that's the way I prefer it right now.
I am still worried about SIDS, so she still sleeps in a sleep sack with no blankets or pillows, etc.
I do let her spend days with all her grandparents whenever they want her. I LOVED spending time with my grandparents and have no plans to deny them their time together. She spends one day a week with my Mom and SD, and one day a week with my Dad and SM. I also take her to spend a day with my DH's grandmother once or twice a month.
probably, but i think i'm becoming less overprotective as DS gets older. i actually think that for me, ferber sleep training changed how i relate to DS with a lot of things. once i realized that he could go through something incredibly stressful (like crying for an hour) and still be a happy guy (actually, a happier guy than before) it made me realize that maybe he wasn't as emotionally fragile as i thought he was.
that said, i'm still overprotective by DH's standards. we had a HUGE fight about the new crib regulations, because i wanted to buy a new crib if it reduced the chance of crib death from two in a million to one in a million. DH thought this was absolutely crazy.
I am totally overprotective. TOTALLY. Ditto about the "not me" in caring for my child... and Isaac is 4.5! I have never left him overnight... never. I am working on lightening up but it's SO HARD.