Feeling hollowed out and sad after 5-day ET
Count Choculitis
member
I just had my ET (this is my first IVF attempt) on Tuesday -- and already I "just know" that it didn't work. I have no basis for this, except for maybe the cynicism that I've built up over the past 2 years and 7 months of trying... and failing. The little blast was AA and perfect according to my RE. And my lining was good. Everything was good.
So what makes me think this didn't work? I don't know. Because it seems like it rarely works on the first try for most women? Because they only had me lay there for 5 minutes and then I got up and peed (and now I'm thinking that the emby is somewhere in the sewer system up in Rockville)? Because I ate nothing but peanut butter M&Ms during my 24 hours of bed rest?
I knew the 2ww would suck. But I had no idea it would suck this much.
Re: Feeling hollowed out and sad after 5-day ET
TTC since March/April 2010
DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
IVF - January 2012: BFN
FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
I just had my ET last Tuesday and today would be my first blood test! This is my first cycle as well and everything went great. So far i took 2 HPT and they both came out positive. Dont over analyze and just go with the flow. Stressing yourself out is not good. just take it easy, pray your baby into this world, stay off your feet and keep positive!
Thanks
Best of luck to you, too. I think the odds are in our favor. We just need to have faith that it's in the hands of someone other than the RE.
I completely understand how you feel. I am currently in the 2ww for IVF #2 and was feeling really positive and upbeat at first but since yesterday I have been feeling a little bit less positive, and like you for no reason other than, it did not work the first time so why would it work this time. I am trying to stay positive but this SUCKS!
TTC #1
IVF #2 w ICSI-6/21/11 ER, 4 Eggs, 2 Fertilized, 6/24/11 3 day ET 2 embryos- Beta 7/5/11- BFN- No frosties.
NEW RE
IUI #1- started 50ius of follistim 1/25, IUI 2/3/12 - BFN
AMH-0.73- DOR 2/2012
IUI #2- 3/17/12 started 200ius of Follistim , 3/24/12 added ganirelix, 225ius Follistim and 75ius of repronex, IUI- 3/30/12, Beta April 13, 2012-BFN
Appointment with Dr. Schoolcraft at CCRM July 18, 2012
WAITING ON A MIRACLE AT THIS POINT
AMH tested again 1/2013- 1.4!!!!
IUI #3- 1/14/13 started 200ius of Follistim, 1/20/13 added menopur and ganirelix, IUI 1/25/13. Positive HPT 2/6/13- Beta #1- 193- BFP!!! 2/8/13-Beta#2-426.6
2/26 ultrasound #1- TWINS!
Delivered a healthy beautiful baby boy on 10/17/13 10ls. 2 ounces
IUI #4 cancelled due to only one egg responding
PAIF or SAIF Welcome
Two C/P and Lots of Tests
Me = LPD + cancer survivor, DH = low count and morphology
IUIs #1-5, January 2011 - June 2011 = BFN
IVF #1 in July/August 2011 = BFP!!!!!
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
Aww hon. Try not to feel so down. You put in a perfect little embie and there's no reason to think it didn't work (although I had the same thought while sitting on that toilet in Rockville). I'm hoping things work out for you. I know I go back and forth in 2 seconds' time on feeling positive or negative. But I hope this is it for you and you can stop worrying soon.
SG's betas are torture though 'cause they make you wait so freaking long
Me (32) DH (30)
A Wordy Blog
Baby Evangeline is here!
Hey I'm a first time IVF and I just got my BFP on a HPT (can I use anymore acronyms) this morning. I go in for beta Saturday. It CAN work on first timers and I've seen it work quite often.
You have to try your hardest to stay positive. I think that is the toughest thing with this entire process. Not the shots or u/s, it's keeping the positive thoughts. We transferred 2 and only one was the "best" at A.
Sending you a big hug.
Aw, thanks. When is your beta? The 12th?
I think the reason I'm feeling kind of negative is --- honestly --- the fact that they only had me lay there for 5 minutes. That just seems wrong. I've heard that a lot of places want you to lay there for an hour. And then the fact that they said I could pee right away just didn't seem right. I didn' t "push" at all, though. Just kind of let it trickle out, slowly and painfully, since I was so paranoid.
SG seems so good in all other respects. I can't imagine that they would be wrong about this. What do you think?
Our embryologist said there is nothing we could do to make the embryo fall out. I think someone explained it like putting something in cream cheese on a bagel. The embryo is staying in.
It sounds like you actually have a great shot, but I totally get this. I was on a high the afternoon of my ET and have been down in the dumps, 150% convinced it didn't work, pretty much ever since. And I really, really hate being told to "stay positive" (with apologies to those who mean it kindly, which is pretty much everyone who says it). Either the embryos grew once they were put in me (they were behind), or they didn't, and my positivity level has nothing to do with that....
Anyway...I really hope you're wrong that it didn't work and that in fact, it did! But I completely get it.